What's the most outlandish excuse you've given for why you weren't coming into work that day?

I once called in and claimed that my car key broke off in the ignition as I was leaving to come in....and made a big production over the phone about how much of a hassle it was gonna be to get the situation rectified, and how my day was ruined.

Heh.

I don't call in sick unless I'm sick. If I don't work, I don't get paid. Waitstaff don't get sick leave. I'm fortunate to work for a huge corporation with 70+ other servers; someone else will take your shift if you're sick. In smaller restaurants, they aren't so understanding. The attitude is "Don't call me to tell me you're sick; call me to tell me who's working for you." When I worked at Applebee's (years ago), we were responsible for finding our own coverage if we were sick.

When I was in the military, calling in sick wasn't an option, even if you were sick. You got up, put on your uniform, and went to "sick call" where they would tell you if you were sick enough to go home. And if you were given SIQ (sick in quarters) for 24 hours, you had to return to work the next day, or return to sick call if you were still too sick to work.

I overslept the day after St. Patty's Day one time years ago. I called in saying I had a stomach virus (kinda true!) and I realized that seemed suspicious the day after Patty's Day, so I called in again the day after that claiming to still be sick.

Never made up one. If I'm sick or I just can't come in, then I can't fucking come in. It's none of your business why. I tell you I'm sick, that's all I'm telling you and then I hang up the phone.

I can't recall ever having to say anything other then, "I'm sick." Never needed a doctor's note as in the doctor's note thread.