Oh, Bollocks: Kate Middleton's Brother James in Nude Photo Scandal!

Oh, Bollocks: Kate Middleton's Brother James in Nude Photo Scandal!
Today 7:55 AM PDT
by Gina Serpe





As the events of last Friday proved, there is nothing the British royal family does better than pageantry, pomp and a little circumstance. Except for crazy hats. And, of course, scandal.

Which is why Kate Middleton's family is already fitting quite nicely into the royal fold and waited mere days after the newly titled duchess swapped "I dos" "I wills" with Prince William to make their very first foray into Public Scandal as extended members of the royal family.

So which member of the Middletons has the honor of causing such a fuss? The only commotion Pippa is apparently capable of causing is a riot for close-ups of her derriere. And since His and Her Royal Highness have stayed out of the public eye and Carole and Michael know better, that simply leaves one man: brother James.

And his meat. And two veg.

In photos that were allegedly taken some time ago but have only now, when the potential for embarrassment is at an all-time high, circulated online, the 23-year-old looker (who already has something of a reputation for being naughty…the Middletons' answer to Prince Harry, really) is seen in various states of semi-NSFW undress.

Though, it is important to note, that at no time are his own family jewels ever on display.

What is on display—and how—is his naked torso.

Among the shots now circulating online: James in his boxer shorts with one hand casually tucked inside them; a couple full moon shots; a picture of him blowdrying his, um, gentleman garden (though he is wearing underwear in the shot and while the elastic band is being pulled away, nothing indecent is visible…better luck next time, girls); a cheeky shot of him fully clothed being, as the Brits are so fond of saying, bummed by another male pal (that the visual takes place in front of a sign post reading "Back Lane" is the first clue that it's just a bit of boys-will-be-boys larking about); a picture of him with several other men dolled up in French maid uniforms with one of the bros munching on another man's baguette (and despite how that sounds, no, that is not a euphemism); and, the pièce de résistance, a shot of James fully nude, sitting legs crossed, beer bottle in hand, with his hand preventing any Basic Instinct-type reenactments.

As it happens, this isn't the first time James' penchant for picture-taking has swept the 'Net.

The French maid shot, in particular, is part of a set from a fancy dress party that was released and made the newspaper rounds back in August 2008. During the same year, a shot of him wearing a polka dot dress belonging to sister Kate also made the rounds, though as he was surrounded by more men also in dresses (who are usually cut out of the frame), the scenario seems less drag queen-in-the-making (as the British press reveled in declaring at the time) and more scene-from-a-harmless-costume-party.

In other words, all in good fun, chaps.

In any case, while no dates were released along with the photos, we would assume, given the Middletons' increasing sense of propriety in recent years, that the others are equally as old.

But no less entertaining to look at. In fact, count us among those most definitely amused.