Do Teachers Dislike Boys?

Do Teachers Dislike Boys?
by Jeanne Sather

Could it be true that some teachers just don't like boys? When I raised this question just briefly in another column, a flood of e-mail came pouring in.

Some readers told me I was all wet, and that this was a ridiculous idea. Others pointed to research that shows that teachers actually pay more attention to boys, shortchanging girls in the process.

And then there were the messages from parents, fathers and mothers both, who felt that their children had been treated badly at school specifically because they were boys. "It is almost as if the boys' presence is less appreciated, and even burdensome," wrote the mother of a young boy.

Tales from the mailbox
A father writes about his youngest son, a rowdy seven-year-old who loves to laugh and make other people laugh, too. This father had his son change teachers because the teacher punished the child academically for incidents that happened on the playground.

"I tried to explain to her that his behavior on the playground was certainly worthy of punishment, but it should not conflict with his learning time," the father says. "She actually refused him a test, saying that throwing sand on the playground meant he got a zero."

The father happened to be at school to witness the incident that was the last straw: "As I approached, my son and another boy were giggling as they walked in line. The teacher yelled at [my son], who instantly turned and walked in line, but the other boy shoved him as they passed a trash can and he fell against it. The teacher yanked him up by his arm and practically dragged him along until they got to class. Once at the class, she had him stand against the wall outside of the door and told him that he did not deserve to be allowed in with the other students (including the boy who pushed him!)."

The father went to his son, hugged him, and then told the school office staff that he had witnessed the incident and was taking the boy out for ice cream. There, they had a long talk about behaving at school, and the boy told him, "Dad, I try my best, but she hates me. I can never do anything right for her."
Other voices
Alyssa Jenkins, a high school teacher and the mother of two young boys, writes, "I am beginning to agree with you that many teachers do not like boys, although I rarely see that at the high school level. I think it's more of an elementary school thing."

Jenkins says that she talked to a kindergarten teacher about this recently and was told, "Because some teachers are exasperated with trying to control boys' energy, they [sometimes] recommend holding a boy back until his body catches up with his brain."

This teacher also told Jenkins that if all a young boy hears all day are comments like "Sit down" and "Stop that," he may be labeled as a problem child and his self-esteem could suffer.

Jenkins says a first-grade teacher raised another issue that causes problems for some boys: turning kindergarten into first grade. "Kindergarten is supposed to be a transition year," she writes, "and by asking children to already know how to ‘do school,' the system disadvantages boys, who mature slower than girls."

A fifth-grade teacher and father who lives in rural Iowa writes, "As far as teachers disliking boys, I think that is too general a statement. A teacher is going to be ‘annoyed' or ‘inconvenienced' by any student that is disruptive in the classroom, whether it is a boy or girl."

He says teachers need better "people skills" and need to learn tolerance and patience in dealing with all students. But he added that a supportive parent plays an important role in how these "difficult" students are handled in class.

He also points out that the teacher's gender, whether or not that teacher has children, and the gender of those children all are factors that can influence how a teacher relates to boys. "Having two boys ages three and five makes me a bit more tolerant of the behavior of boys because I deal with it daily and have managed to acquire skills to obtain the behaviors I think are appropriate," he writes. "This does not always work with other people's kids, but it is always worth a try."