It's funny that Jason B. started threads about parenting, because I was gonna post something similar....

If you had a parent that was less than good....did your other parent ever talk frankly to you about their bullshit and/or "issues" in a way to shed light or to steer you from going down the path they did? You know what I mean, one of those real, "no bullshit" conversations where they candidly describe and reiterate the others personality....the relationship they had with their parents, how they were as a spouse, how they were as a parent....etc., etc. The good, the bad and the ugly.

I had a talk like that with my mother today, where she frustratedly went in on my father...why their marriage failed, what he did/didn't do as a husband and father, where he is in life now, what quirks of mine remind her of his, why she has no desire to talk to him now, and her imploring me to be better than his example.

It was deep. She pulled no punches.

I don't know, it's been a common topic between my mother and I for so long...it took her a lot of years to finally admit that he's a bastard even though she loves going back to 'he's better than most'. Maybe so but you don't applaud somebody for getting a C just because it wasn't an F because you could've gotten a B or an A.

Wow Marc, that is deep.

I never had such an experience though even when I was young, Mom never hid from me Dad's affairs. Reflecting back, I don't know if I was better or worse off for knowing it all so young. I do think that even though I was way too young to be privy to such shit, it was a good thing because Dad's long time girlfriend died during their affair, and Dad grieved her. And had I not known what an affair was, I maybe would have been weirded out by why he was so upset.

Sadly no. My parents are still together so that may be a reason why. My father has many good qualities and is in no way a monster, but some of his imperfections are obvious and upsetting. My parents are just very old school in that regard, father the head of the household, mother being the homemaker and nurturer who plays down or rationalizes any of dads ill temperament. She's not likely to have a straight talk rap session about the way things shouldn't have happened or should have been better (at least not where he's concerned).

My parents are actually both pretty great people. Never had one of those longs talks with either of them and there never really was a need to. We've had serious talks about other stuff, but never about one parent or the other.

My parents never should have gotten married. Teenage pregnancy. They divorced when I was 13-14. There was a lot of acrimony over money. My brother and I have a much better relationship the our father than mother (her choice). My father told me once that one of the financial agreements they had was she was to give us a share of the proceeds from the sale of the house we stayed in after he left. That never happened but even when he told me about this after the fact years ago, I just shrugged. That isn't why we don't see her anymore or why she's never met either of her grandchildren.

Yep. Now, since I was a pretty much a daddy's girl growing up, I have to admit it took me some time to get what my mother was saying about my father. I used to think she was exaggerating but she told me I would see for myself eventually and damn if she wasn't right. The thing about it is, what both of them said about each other was actually true. It wasn't like one was trying to pit one against each other or making up shit. My dad said he would never try to turn me away from my mother and vice versa. On the flipside though, he was a bit more open with info than my mother was. Like for example, I never knew my mother had an abortion before she had me. She told me she had a miscarriage.

Kind of, sort of. My parents (mom mostly) have both casually vented their frustrations in each other with my sisters and I; but it's usually more of a petty complaining/'you know how he/she gets' than an outright testify and preach session like Marc is probably talking about what his mom did.

My mama never sugarcoated anything, so sometimes she kept it real when need be.

Alan Smithee wrote:

My parents never should have gotten married. Teenage pregnancy. They divorced when I was 13-14. There was a lot of acrimony over money. My brother and I have a much better relationship the our father than mother (her choice). My father told me once that one of the financial agreements they had was she was to give us a share of the proceeds from the sale of the house we stayed in after he left. That never happened but even when he told me about this after the fact years ago, I just shrugged. That isn't why we don't see her anymore or why she's never met either of her grandchildren.

Alan, so your daughter never met her grandmother? I just ask because I know your daughter is a young adult. My son won't see his paternal grandmother either anymore, after she screwed my son's dad over for a lot of money.