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Marc™
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Wadsworth
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    Friendz with BENEFITS?

    Wadsworth
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    Post by Wadsworth Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:26 am

    Why do I get the feelin this probably work out a WHOLE lot better for gay dudes then it do str8 guys???? Me and this female from work been gettin together for a few weeks. We dont "date", aint never even hung out in public or went to eat. All we done so far is talk on the phone and hook up. We said from the start this was all it was gonna be. She agreed & laughed. Now I think she startin to get attached.....wanting me to call more and jjust yesterday she said somethin that sent up red flags. Sent me an email tryin to play it cool but in it said "she didn't wanna be a burden". If she thought all we doing is keepin it CASUAL, then why would she even think that?
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    Post by Nystyle709 Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:36 am

    ^. Booooyyy, you should know better than that! Don't let no chick tell you that she can handle a situation like this cause 9 times outta 10, they can't. Women are very emotional. They catch feelings quick.....esp if you're giving up that good 'd'. If you're not trying to be with her seriously, CUT IT OFF! NOW! I'd hate to see you get shanked.
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    Post by Chris Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:57 am

    It's not realistic at all. 95% of the time friends can't just have casual sex with each and still relate to each other as haha buddies. Emotions are either gonna get in the way at some point, or the friendship that was there before will eventually be drowned out.
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    Post by CatEyes10736 Thu Jun 10, 2010 12:59 pm

    Sounds to me that she entered this thing secretly liking you and is only gonna continue becoming more and more clingy. If you have no intentions of dating this woman then you should stop seeing her. "Friends with benefits" is a gluttonous fantasy that is majorly flawed. IA with Chris that it's not realistic at all.
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    Post by Marc™ Fri Jun 11, 2010 7:15 am

    More like "associates" with benefits. Soon as sex enters the equation, the dynamic instantly changes and the friendship is on borrowed time. Meanwhile like someone else said, girlie was already wanting you to be her BF from the beginning and was just using "no strings" sex to integrate herself into your world.
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    Post by Wadsworth Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:04 am

    Nystyle709 wrote:^. Booooyyy, you should know better than that! Don't let no chick tell you that she can handle a situation like this cause 9 times outta 10, they can't. Women are very emotional. They catch feelings quick.....esp if you're giving up that good 'd'. If you're not trying to be with her seriously, CUT IT OFF! NOW! I'd hate to see you get shanked.

    DID and DONE. I talked to her today and said that it was best that we just be cool cuz i could tell she was sinking into something that aint there. She said she was gonna tell me the same thing that we should just be friends. So there it is.
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    Post by Tony Marino Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:41 pm

    big grin
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    Post by Cheaps Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:08 pm

    It can happen, for about a year...never got attached, it was what it was, just sex. Sometimes he paid for taxi over, sometimes I did. Shrugs (Oh well…) ..He was never a good friend either, just someone I met through others, who came over to kick it with an old roommate.

    So maybe it wasn't exactly "Friends with benefits" just "Hook up buddys".
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    Post by Bluesmama Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:48 pm

    I think it's pretty rare that these "arrangements" remain as they are, and that one of them will form an attachment.

    My nephew has attempted this several times. He'll tell them up how things are and to what NOT to expect, and the women have gone along with it, but they formed attachments to him in time. And I know of one who didn't take 'no' for an answer easily when he decided to just break it off. He does not want to get married or get emotionally involved right now for a number of reasons.

    He did have one backfire, though. He was dating a woman several years older than him, fell for her, and SHE didn't want emotional attachment. It was kinda' funny.
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    Post by Shale Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:49 pm

    Wadsworth wrote:Why do I get the feelin this probably work out a WHOLE lot better for gay dudes then it do str8 guys?????...
    Yep, I think guys can pull off having sex just for sex without attachment. The only time I had this with girls was back in the free luv days and I had a couple that every time we met up we were fucking but never thot of having a relationship outside of that.

    cheaps wrote:...He was never a good friend either, just someone I met through others, ... So maybe it wasn't exactly "Friends with benefits" just "Hook up buddys".
    That is a polite way to say Fuck Buddy, and again, it is something gay guys seem to be into. I have a fuck buddy I've known for a decade now. Whenever he comes over to visit he immediately starts undressing - 'cause that is what we are going to do.

    Sometimes I think of how intimate we are physically and I realize we've grown together in other ways. You can't lay there with another person after fucking sometimes falling asleep together without having feelings for them, but we will never have a relationship.

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