Family Over Individualism

I know Asian cultures tend to put family pride and honor ahead of individualism....and every move someone makes is expected to be with family solidarity and accommodation/convenience in mind. So in other words, if it's not convenient for the family that someone take a certain job, or date a certain someone, or move somewhere, then don't do it.

Do you agree with this? Should what's best for the family be more important than what's best for the person?

I don't think that people should factor in family when making every single life choice. Some people enjoy doing what is best for or desired by their family. But I suspect that a lot of people who go along with stuff do so out of guilt or a sense of obligation.

I think both ways have their drawbacks and advantages. I lived in Korea a total of three years so I am familiar with their way of thinking. On some instances I would not like the family demands but on others I can see how that helps and individual.

You have a great day.
Friendly Veteran

The only obligation an adult has is to the family they create for themselves. If a man has a wife and young children, then yes consideration for them should be paramount when it comes to his decision making. However, an adult isn't obligated to base his own life choices on the desires of his parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., etc. We're all put on this planet to be unique and to carve out our own individual niche, not to be forever shacked to or stifled by our birth families.

If I'm not mistaken, Asian cultures are also known for their suicide rates when students don't work hard enough and thus shame the whole families. It's nice to keep family in mind, but ultimately you have to go with what you want to be and do.

I think it's a balancing act and that it depends on the age of the children. I know that in South Asian cultures, the good of the family can take things way to far - murdering a teenage daughter who was raped because she brought dishonour on the family? Murdering a baby girl because having a boy is so important to the family?

I think there's a time and a place for the family and a time and a place for the individual. It depends on the situation and how people feel.

My family on both sides has that attitude and for the most part I don't fall in line. I believe in family solidarity and sticking up for your own and all that, but I can't center my whole life around keeping other adults satisfied.

I almost can't relate to the question, because this isn't how my family operates. We accept that once a child is over eighteen, their life decisions are their own. Aside from my daughter and my child on the way, I personally can't imagine basing my living decisions on how comfortable my family would be with it.

No, I don't agree with putting family pride before individualism. Family is important, yes, but your family is just a group of people. They're capable of being idiots just like anyone else. Ultimately, it has to be up to the individual to decide what they want to do, who they want to date, etc. It would be great if families could always agree and approve of one another, but you have to live for yourself first.