** The official Masturbation thread! ** [merged]

Marc wrote:When I was about 19, I was in my room, in my bed, under the covers having phone sex. In the meantime, my mother was cooking dinner. I'm being very incognito and quiet talking on the phone, jerking off. My mom (who was talking on her own phone line) very casually comes in my room with a plate of food in her hand to give me. Before she came in, I was mere centimeters away from climaxing. Man, I was right there. She didn't see anything and I totally played it off, but as she was handing me the food....I simultaneously ejaculated under the covers.

OMG!!!!!! LOL!!!! That had to be one of the strangest moments in your lifetime! Thank god there were no wet stains on whatever you had covering you up!!!!

It was very strange. Very awkward.

Alright, your turn....

Tony Marino wrote:Here is another masturbatory question, has anyone ever caught you in the act of masturbating?? Details please.

When I was fourteen, I was babysitting my eight year old cousin. Horny, I went into the downstairs bathroom that was hardly used, sat on the toilet and did my business. The adults had come home, but I didn't know because I was preoccupied - obviously. I guess someone was in the upstairs bathroom, so my niece came downstairs to use it. I don't know why, but I didn't lock the door. She walked in and saw me in engorged glory. I turned red and quickly covered myself. She knew something wasn't right with the scene and asked me what I was doing. I lied and said I was using the bathroom, yelled for her to close the door. Then I flushed the toilet (yeah, right). I walked out like ten second later, scolding her to learn to knock. I know she remembers this, and most likely knows now what I was actually doing.

Nystyle709 wrote:To all the eager Chamber masturbators.....do any of you have a special routine? Like you turn the lights down or light some candles and have a glass of wine or anything like that. Or do you have a special technique? One hand, two hands, alternate hands at five minute intervals, lol.

I don't need anything but my hands and it takes me about 7 mins to reach heaven and i'm a chick

I must have been about 15 years old, one saturday morning I was sitting on the edge of the bed whacking it and just when I got to the point of no return I realized I had nothing to catch it so I let it go on the floor thinking I would clean it up. I jumped up, put my shorts on and went to the bathroom to take a leak. When I came back my Mom was in my room gathering the sheets up for the laundry. She gave me a funny look and just walked out and then when I walked back near my bed I realized my oysters were still all over the floor! I don't know if she saw it or not but I was pretty embarrassed and tried to steer clear of her for the rest of the day.

Tony Marino wrote:I must have been about 15 years old, one saturday morning I was sitting on the edge of the bed whacking it and just when I got to the point of no return I realized I had nothing to catch it so I let it go on the floor thinking I would clean it up. I jumped up, put my shorts on and went to the bathroom to take a leak. When I came back my Mom was in my room gathering the sheets up for the laundry. She gave me a funny look and just walked out and then when I walked back near my bed I realized my oysters were still all over the floor! I don't know if she saw it or not but I was pretty embarrassed and tried to steer clear of her for the rest of the day.

Mothers sometimes have the most inconvenient timing.

Chris wrote:



Mothers sometimes have the most inconvenient timing.

The sure do!!

Did you ever fall asleep in the middle of your praying?

Tony Marino wrote:Did you ever fall asleep in the middle of your praying?

Sometimes immediately after it's over, I'll lay there deliriously sleepy and on the verge of passing out before finally grabbing something to clean up.

Ahhh, next question...what do you clean up with?

And don't you hate it when you're done and you can't find your towel, rag, etc., etc.

Chris wrote:

Sometimes immediately after it's over, I'll lay there deliriously sleepy and on the verge of passing out before finally grabbing something to clean up.

Ahhh, next question...what do you clean up with?

And don't you hate it when you're done and you can't find your towel, rag, etc., etc.

I have fallen totally asleep with my wanger in my hand and passed out without cleaning up. Makes for a nice mess when you wake up.

I use either a paper towel or sometimes my underwear depending on whats close by. What do you use?

Tony Marino wrote:

Chris wrote:

Sometimes immediately after it's over, I'll lay there deliriously sleepy and on the verge of passing out before finally grabbing something to clean up.

Ahhh, next question...what do you clean up with?

And don't you hate it when you're done and you can't find your towel, rag, etc., etc.

I have fallen totally asleep with my wanger in my hand and passed out without cleaning up. Makes for a nice mess when you wake up.

I use either a paper towel or sometimes my underwear depending on whats close by. What do you use?

Really whatever is close by...socks, pajama pants, t-shirts. My favorite cum rag is this old Red, White and Blue (American designed) head rag that I never actually wore. I keep it for the sake of wiping my belly. lol

Chris wrote:

Really whatever is close by...socks, pajama pants, t-shirts. My favorite cum rag is this old Red, White and Blue (American designed) head rag that I never actually wore. I keep it for the sake of wiping my belly. lol

When I was younger I used a white tee shirt man did that thing get nasty after awhile!! They actually sell Cum Towels have you ever seen them?

Tony Marino wrote:

Chris wrote:

Really whatever is close by...socks, pajama pants, t-shirts. My favorite cum rag is this old Red, White and Blue (American designed) head rag that I never actually wore. I keep it for the sake of wiping my belly. lol

When I was younger I used a white tee shirt man did that thing get nasty after awhile!! They actually sell Cum Towels have you ever seen them?

Wow. No, never saw them before. Practical, I guess. Still, I can't imagine buying one. My head rag works fine. lol

Chris wrote:

Wow. No, never saw them before. Practical, I guess. Still, I can't imagine buying one. My head rag works fine. lol

My underwear and paper towels are very absorbent!

Ever get bold and just turn over and go to sleep with it all still on your stomach?
You wake up hours later wishing you hadn't done that. lol

Chris wrote:Ever get bold and just turn over and go to sleep with it all still on your stomach?
You wake up hours later wishing you hadn't done that. lol

Yep there is a nice huge wet stain on the sheet and your kind of hoping that it didn't make it to the mattress.

The worse, though, is when you wake up in the morning and it's dried up all in your stomach hair. It's a humbling little reminder of what you did the night before.

Chris wrote:The worse, though, is when you wake up in the morning and it's dried up all in your stomach hair. It's a humbling little reminder of what you did the night before.

But then you remember how good it felt and then you don't feel so bad!

Chris wrote:

Sometimes immediately after it's over, I'll lay there deliriously sleepy and on the verge of passing out before finally grabbing something to clean up.

Ahhh, next question...what do you clean up with?

And don't you hate it when you're done and you can't find your towel, rag, etc., etc.

I want to say something a bit gross right now, but don't feel comfortable broadcasting it....

Marc wrote:

I want to say something a bit gross right now, but don't feel comfortable broadcasting it....

Oh please do!! Im into gross!

Anyone who wants to know will have to PM me....

Speaking of masturbation, what's worse than not finding the rag is when you're doing it and you realize that you gotta piss.... that's the most inconvenient feeling in the world.

Marc wrote:Speaking of masturbation, what's worse than not finding the rag is when you're doing it and you realize that you gotta piss.... that's the most inconvenient feeling in the world.

Yup you gotta stop, get it down enough to do the deed and then go back and hope your still in the mood.

Marc wrote:Speaking of masturbation, what's worse than not finding the rag is when you're doing it and you realize that you gotta piss.... that's the most inconvenient feeling in the world.

Worse is taking a leak after and getting that annoying feeling in your groin.