Would you be upset if a good friend of yours neglected to tell you that they knew your lover/SO was cheating on you behind your back, rationalizing that it 'wasn't their business.'

If it wasn't their business then why do they consider themselves my friend?

Very.

Eh, I'm like that. I won't meddle into others peoples relationships, but for a really close friend, I would give him or her some kind of clue. I would at least expect that.

Yeah I would be very upset that they stood by and let somebody make a fool of me.

I would be upset but at the same time I understand how they feel if they didn't. I would hope that they would tell me.

There are a lot of variables but I think I would be ok with it. I wouldn't want to tell someone either that the spouse was cheating because the messenger usually gets screwed in situations like that.

RedBedroom wrote:

There are a lot of variables but I think I would be ok with it. I wouldn't want to tell someone either that the spouse was cheating because the messenger usually gets screwed in situations like that.

i'd be pissed but understanding.... i once told my friend that her SO was hitting on me. She disowned me as a friend for destroying her happiness!

Yes I would if it was a close friend. Friends are supposed to look out for each other.

wants2laugh wrote:

i'd be pissed but understanding.... i once told my friend that her SO was hitting on me. She disowned me as a friend for destroying her happiness!

Isn't that a kick in the pants? I've been there.

I suspect that would be a quick ans easy way to lose a friend.

As others have told us, it can be a damned if you do or damned if you don't situation. I might tell my friend or I might help them discover the truth for themselves.

I was just talking about this today. Way back in the day, I happened to come across my "friend's" wife in a bar. She was with another guy and they definately were not platonic. As I was leaving later that night they were in the parking lot going at it. The next day I mentioned it to my friend as in, what was Suzi doing last night? And he said she was out with her girl friends. I said she was out with a friend, but he wasn't a she. He got all wigged out and started yelling at me like it was my fault? What he was doing was saying I was lying to get him mad at her so I could justify hitting on her. We spent the next 10 minutes yelling and cussing at each other before we popped each other a couple of times.
LAst time I saw him a month or so later, he was with some other woman and didn't bother to say hello...

So I would never tell my friend anything. If their spouse / S.O is cheating, they will find out sooner or later.

One time I told a good friend of mine that her husband had tried to kiss me, and she didn't take it seriously. "He must have been drinking, because that just isn't him." Yes, he was quite drunk, but that's immaterial to me. Her reaction disappointed me.

So I quite frankly don't know how I'd feel if the table was turned. But I do know that I likely wouldn't tell a friend about a cheating husband again.