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Hyacinth Girl
Shale
CeCe
Tony Marino
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Tony Marino
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Tony Marino


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PostSubject: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 10:55 am

Do things really change as much as people say they do after marriage or is that just what people say to scare younger people who aren't married yet?
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CeCe
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 11:07 am

In my experience things really do change. Not sure why. Maybe people get too comfortable & start to feel like they don't have to try as much. It's probably not the case everytime & really depends on the relationship between the two people. I'm sure there are times when the pre-marriage relationship was a facade anyway, like when one pretends to like things they really don't & stop once the ink is dry. As long as the couple doesn't forget there has to be some continued effort on both sides it will be fine.
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Shale
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 11:28 am

My wife and I were living together in those unofficial marriages that our gen did. Then we decided to make it legal - it was just a formality. Our life continued together for another 15 years.

Even my young grandson who recently got married was living with his girlfriend. Our whole family seems to do it that way and I think it is beneficial to get to really know a person before committing to a legal contract.
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Hyacinth Girl
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 12:57 pm

Yep. And I think a big part of "why" is that in the beginning, you tend to overlook/not see the other person's flaws or other personality/character traits that may not necessarily be so hunky dory. As time goes by and life happens, those things get amplified either for the better or for the worse, depending on how each person is equipped to deal with them both as a couple and as an individual.

How you survive all those changes, is what determines the overall outcome of the marriage.
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Chris
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 1:02 pm

I think it depends on how long the couple was involved before the marriage. My wife and I were involved for a year and a half before we were hitched, and often spent days/weeks sleeping at each others place. So after we finally eloped, aside from the 'just married' euphoria, it wasn't much of an adjustment. We knew what we were in for and what life would be like together.
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Hyacinth Girl
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 1:12 pm

Chris wrote:
I think it depends on how long the couple was involved before the marriage. My wife and I were involved for a year and a half before we were hitched, and often spent days/weeks sleeping at each others place. So after we finally eloped, aside from the 'just married' euphoria, it wasn't much of an adjustment. We knew what we were in for and what life would be like together.

I was with my husband for 2 years before we got married, and that was in no way, any prep for what was in store for us. 22 years later, after our daughter was born with cancer, then getting epilepsy as a teen, then me getting cancer right after asking him for a divorce, we're still together, but it's anyone's guess as to how it will all turn out.

Not trying to discourage in anyway, and each scenario is different, but always be able to roll with the punches whenever they hit.
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Alan Smithee
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 2:08 pm

Unless you've been cohabitating for years, of course things are going to change. My wife and I knew each other (in the biblical sense and as people) for about 5 years before we got married but we never lived together. The main adjustment to be made was that she wasn't cooking for 6 anymore. Best advice I could give is don't marry a stranger.
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Nystyle709
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyThu Apr 05, 2012 9:35 pm

I dunno, I never been married. I can't imagine it being much different that living with your boyfriend/girlfriend for an extended period of time. Which is what you should do before you get married anyway.
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Cheaps
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PostSubject: Re: Marriage   Marriage EmptyFri Apr 06, 2012 5:11 am

Shrugs (Oh well…) I don't know
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