What are your thoughts on this?

A few years ago I got involved in a debate with some people who said if the man works and the wife is a stay-at-home wife, then it's on HER to do all the housework because sabes que 'the husband works all day, why should he come home and have to cook and clean?' And there were people who said if the woman worked and the man stayed home it would be the same way. Oddly enough none of these people could answer why then by the same logic it does NOT make sense that if BOTH spouses work, then nobody should do any housework, after all aren't they both working? Aren't they both coming home tired? But oh no, THEN somebody has to do the housework but if one works and one doesn't, the one who does gets a free pass on all the dishes and laundry and cooking and vacuuming, etc.

Supernova wrote:

What are your thoughts on this?

A few years ago I got involved in a debate with some people who said if the man works and the wife is a stay-at-home wife, then it's on HER to do all the housework because sabes que 'the husband works all day, why should he come home and have to cook and clean?' And there were people who said if the woman worked and the man stayed home it would be the same way. Oddly enough none of these people could answer why then by the same logic it does NOT make sense that if BOTH spouses work, then nobody should do any housework, after all aren't they both working? Aren't they both coming home tired? But oh no, THEN somebody has to do the housework but if one works and one doesn't, the one who does gets a free pass on all the dishes and laundry and cooking and vacuuming, etc.

OK, try this. The distribution of labor in the typical household is economic (income to allow for shelter, food, etc.) and maintenance (the cleaning of said shelter and cooking of said food). In a one paycheck household of your first scenario, the division of labor is clearer, although typically not exclusive along those lines (economic and maintenance) Very often the "bread winner" is also involved in maintenance activities such as lawn care, shoveling snow, etc. In a two paycheck household, the maintenance workload doesn't disappear and performing an economic function isn't (shouldn't be) a "free pass". Both spouses should bear equal responsibility for the maintenance workload. The trade off for the increased workload is presumably greater economic benefit from two paychecks. Your results may vary.

Alan Smithee wrote:

OK, try this. The distribution of labor in the typical household is economic (income to allow for shelter, food, etc.) and maintenance (the cleaning of said shelter and cooking of said food). In a one paycheck household of your first scenario, the division of labor is clearer, although typically not exclusive along those lines (economic and maintenance) Very often the "bread winner" is also involved in maintenance activities such as lawn care, shoveling snow, etc. In a two paycheck household, the maintenance workload doesn't disappear and performing an economic function isn't (shouldn't be) a "free pass". Both spouses should bear equal responsibility for the maintenance workload. The trade off for the increased workload is presumably greater economic benefit from two paychecks. Your results may vary.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I grew up in a breadwinner/housewife home. That's how it was in post-war America. My dad went to work and got the money and mom did the housework/laundry/cooking & dishwashing. But, dad worked on cars and appliances and built stuff on the house.

I have never been in such a relationship myself - both long-term partners and I had jobs.

When we both worked outside the home, we split it. Now I work inside the home, but have become the one who does everything.

My sister is a 50yr old housewife whose never worked.Not only does she do most of the cooking, cleaning, etc--- but she mows the lawn, shovels the snow & cleans the pool. Her hubby does contribute to the cooking, sometimes dishes. But he works 12hrs a day, usually 5-6 days a week.

In my marriage, we both worked, and we both cleaned. It has to be done, so fighting over who is going to do what is stupid.

In my childhood though... check this out--- my mom worked, and took the role of "the man of the house" and my poor sister wound up cooking, cleaning, watching us kids from the time she was about 12yrs old. And my mom puts her down for never having worked in her life.