My friend is really upset. She's had so many things to spend large amounts of money on recently, and she's hurting.

So, it got me to thinking...beyond listening and being there to talk, what can you do to cheer someone up in such a situation? It's not as if you can go out and spend money on them because that seems awkward.

So what would you do beyond being there for them?

In this case, I am just trying to come up with a special b-day gift as her b-day is this weekend.

Red I am experiencing something similar only its with a relative. She is on a limited income and does not have enough money to pay her full rent, cable/Phone and whatever expenses she has. She has 3 grown children that all work and one of them kicks in some money but its not enough. One of the other 2 he and his wife both make 6 figure salaries and he can only afford to send her 100 bucks a month? The other son works and claims poverty even though he has a good job. I feel badly for her, I have given her money in the past, a lot of money but I feel if I keep on doing it, then her kids won't pitch in and its their responsibility to take care of their mother don't you think so?

RedBedroom wrote:

My friend is really upset. She's had so many things to spend large amounts of money on recently, and she's hurting.

So, it got me to thinking...beyond listening and being there to talk, what can you do to cheer someone up in such a situation? It's not as if you can go out and spend money on them because that seems awkward.

So what would you do beyond being there for them?

In this case, I am just trying to come up with a special b-day gift as her b-day is this weekend.

Red by being there and not running away is enough since you can't support your friend, friendship is better, at least she has someone to talk to about things. Buying her a special present is also a very nice gesture and should cheer her up some.

Tony Marino wrote:

Red I am experiencing something similar only its with a relative. She is on a limited income and does not have enough money to pay her full rent, cable/Phone and whatever expenses she has. She has 3 grown children that all work and one of them kicks in some money but its not enough. One of the other 2 he and his wife both make 6 figure salaries and he can only afford to send her 100 bucks a month? The other son works and claims poverty even though he has a good job. I feel badly for her, I have given her money in the past, a lot of money but I feel if I keep on doing it, then her kids won't pitch in and its their responsibility to take care of their mother don't you think so?

Tony, it's shameful they can't pitch in more. It puts you in a tough spot because you want to help, but there has to be a limit.

When I was in high school, there was this really old man who lived so modestly, his place always reminded me of the Little House on the Prairie house on the inside. Well, somehow my dad got hooked up with him and started to take care of his needs. The saddest part is his daughter would drive right past his place on her way to work and only stopped a few times per year. Granted, Bill could have been a jerk father back in the day or something, but I never thought that because his other kids that lived out of state visited every so often.

Tony Marino wrote:

Red by being there and not running away is enough since you can't support your friend, friendship is better, at least she has someone to talk to about things. Buying her a special present is also a very nice gesture and should cheer her up some.

Well said Tony. That's all you can do Red.

Believe me, I AM your friend right now. I feel her. I am such in a financial mess right now, it's not even funny. But having a good support system like great friends & family really do help, and they can help you realize there's light at the end of the tunnel. And that sounds like another thing me and your friend have in common. Just continue being a great friend Red!

Cheaps, sorry to hear that you are going through the ringer right now. Ten years ago, I was there. And yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've been in the financial pitfall since my car accident. I was out of work for months, and as a federal employee, cannot collect state disability even tho i have ot pay for it! (not even for maternity leave crazy)

At this point, I have made half of what i normally do... but i know it will get better... just listen... and DON'T give her money.

Right now, I'm pissed cause three different people owe me a total of $6,000 and if i had that damn money, i would be fine! ppl suck

Birthday gift sounds good, but don't start doling out money if you can't afford to. It won't end well. And like everyone said, it gets better. I've had to eat some pretty serious losses and I'm the type who hates wasting or losing money. But....it's still only money.