Do you have any funny....or memorable....urgent "gotta go" (bathroom) moments?

When I was 14, I was going to the Zoo with my family to celebrate one of my brothers birthday. The night before we had gone out to dinner and had spicy food. As much as I love it, my stomach hates it. So anyway, the next morning I slept in late by accident so I didn't get to go to the bathroom, just got changed, had breakfast and left.
We got there around 11:45AM if I recall right.

I had terrible stomach cramps in the car and when I got out they got even worse.
My brother wanted to see everything and every other kid at the zoo, he was constantly running around and making us go in circles. It was making me even more sick. My stomach constantly made noises so loud, I'm surprised no one besides me heard them.
I knew if I didn't get to a toilet soon I would explode! and it wouldn't be a pretty explosion like fireworks, it would be nasty.

At around 1:00PM we sat down to have the lunch that my mom had prepared, and oh what joy, she put hot sauce on my sandwich. Usually I love hot sauce on sandwiches but not this time. I managed to force it all down. We were sitting by a tree, my mom wanted to stay in the shade for a while. The cramps came back and..lets just say I know how tubes of toothpaste feel now. It felt like someone had a strong hold on my bowels and was squeezing really hard.

I told myself I could wait a little longer...wrong. I started to get reeally gassy.
While my mom and dad relaxed in the shade, I felt like we'd never leave that spot, when suddenly my brother said he had to go to the toilet, I jumped up offering to take him to the bathroom. So we headed off, well, my brother ran and I walked slowly, trying not to mess myself.

We got to the restroom and praise God, he wasn't making it easy for me that day. Only one was free and I knew I couldn't go and leave my brother there so I let him go first.
I started crossing my legs gripping my butt cheeks together, my bowels were on fire from the spicy food. I thought I was gonna blow when suddenly came the sweet sound of someone flushing the toilet...but when they came out I made a dash for it and when I went in I saw that there was no toilet paper left. Oh joy. I stood there waiting for someone else to finish or my brother, when suddenly I couldn't hold it anymore, my bowels literally exploded! It was volcanic. And of course, I had chosen boxes over briefs that day, it wasn't pretty, nor did it feel pretty. the restroom was suddenly drenched in the smell of it. And I could have sworn I heard someone gag, twice. It started running down my leg and into my shoe.

I went to the door of the stall my brother was in and told him to stay there (I didn't want him to run off on top off what just happened). I slowly made my way to the the stall with no toilet paper and sat down. My bowels again exploded into the bowel, making a noise I can only describe as chunky mud falling into a pool of water. The person in the stall next to me started coughing and someone else gagged again. My brother, who was still in his stall yelled out "eeew someone has smelly poop" I yelled across my stall for him not to yell and the strain in my voice must have given me away and he yelled "eeeew it was you, you stink!"

After about a minute the other stalls opened and the people left. I then called to my brother to hand me some toilet paper. He called back "no way get it yourself stinky" I started to get mad and begged him to get me some toilet paper. Luckily for me some other guy had just walked in as I said it and he was nice enough to hand me some over the door. Once I was cleaned up, I knew flushing would in no way make things better, so I closed the lid and left it. I noticed nothing had soaked through my boxers, I threw them out, and had to walk around the rest of the day with just my jeans. When we got back to my parents, they asked what took us so long and my brother blurted out that I 'nearly killed him with my smell'
I'll never live it down I thought.

When I was in college and came home for Thanksgiving break, I went to the mall and drank a huge 'big gulp' sized Coke. Before long, I had to piss, but kept putting off going to the bathroom, because I really don't like public restrooms. As I was driving home, I was in crisis mode. I had to pee...bad. So finally I get to the house, barely able to walk (but still trying to walk fast.) Soon as I'm in the door, I'm trying to ardently make my way to the bathroom. Then out of nowhere, my little cousin from out of town (who I didn't know was there or coming) jumped out at me from around the corner.

I had to change my pants.

Tony Marino wrote:

When I was 14, I was going to the Zoo with my family to celebrate one of my brothers birthday. The night before we had gone out to dinner and had spicy food. As much as I love it, my stomach hates it. So anyway, the next morning I slept in late by accident so I didn't get to go to the bathroom, just got changed, had breakfast and let.
We got there around 11:45AM if I recall right.

I had terrible stomach cramps in the car and when I got out they got even worse.
My brother wanted to see everything and every other kid at the zoo, he was constantly running around and making us go in circles. It was making me even more sick. My stomach constantly made noises so loud, I'm surprised no one besides me heard them.
I knew if I didn't get to a toilet soon I would explode! and it wouldn't be a pretty explosion like fireworks, it would be nasty.

At around 1:00PM we sat down to have the lunch that my mom had prepared, and oh what joy, she put hot sauce on my sandwich. Usually I love hot sauce on sandwiches but not this time. I managed to force it all down. We were sitting by a tree, my mom wanted to stay in the shade for a while. The cramps came back and..lets just say I know how tubes of toothpaste feel now. It felt like someone had a strong hold on my bowels and was squeezing really hard.

I told myself I could wait a little longer...wrong. I started to get reeally gassy.
While my mom and dad relaxed in the shade, I felt like we'd never leave that spot, when suddenly my brother said he had to go to the toilet, I jumped up offering to take him to the bathroom. So we headed off, well, my brother ran and I walked slowly, trying not to mess myself.

We got to the restroom and praise God, he wasn't making it easy for me that day. Only one was free and I knew I couldn't go and leave my brother there so I let him go first.
I started crossing my legs gripping my butt cheeks together, my bowels were on fire from the spicy food. I thought I was gonna blow when suddenly came the sweet sound of someone flushing the toilet...but when they came out I made a dash for it and when I went in I saw that there was no toilet paper left. Oh joy. I stood there waiting for someone else to finish or my brother, when suddenly I couldn't hold it anymore, my bowels literally exploded! It was volcanic. And of course, I had chosen boxes over briefs that day, it wasn't pretty, nor did it feel pretty. the restroom was suddenly drenched in the smell of it. And I could have sworn I heard someone gag, twice. It started running down my leg and into my shoe.

I went to the door of the stall my brother was in and told him to stay there (I didn't want him to run off on top off what just happened). I slowly made my way to the the stall with no toilet paper and sat down. My bowels again exploded into the bowel, making a noise I can only describe as chunky mud falling into a pool of water. The person in the stall next to me started coughing and someone else gagged again. My brother, who was still in his stall yelled out "eeew someone has smelly poop" I yelled across my stall for him not to yell and the strain in my voice must have given me away and he yelled "eeeew it was you, you stink!"

After about a minute the other stalls opened and the people left. I then called to my brother to hand me some toilet paper. He called back "no way get it yourself stinky" I started to get mad and begged him to get me some toilet paper. Luckily for me some other guy had just walked in as I said it and he was nice enough to hand me some over the door. Once I was cleaned up, I knew flushing would in no way make things better, so I closed the lid and left it. I noticed nothing had soaked through my boxers, I threw them out, and had to walk around the rest of the day with just my jeans. When we got back to my parents, they asked what took us so long and my brother blurted out that I 'nearly killed him with my smell'
I'll never live it down I thought.

This is gonna be nasty, but hey I asked....so I may as well answer my own question....

When I was about 20, I was at work one day and had to take a dump very, very badly. I had already taken my 30 min. lunch break (it was what I ate at lunch....Chinese....that put me in this predicament), so all that was left at that point was my final 10 min. break. Wanting to be discreet, instead of using the single person bathroom that was in the store I worked (because I would have been in there a minute.....and chances are the smell wouldn't have been discreet), I decided to go out into the mall and use the mens restroom, which was literally on the OTHER side of the mall. Great. As I furiously walked (my stomach in knots....and knowing that I only had 10 minutes), my bowels began to release. I held on as long as I could and managed to keep most of it in. Finally I got to the toilet and experienced sweet relief. But those underwear I had on were now unwearable. Like Tony, I had to toss them.

LOL (x10)....hey, if we can talk about masturbation habits....

In the words of DL Hugley:
"I don't care who you are, every man has had a 'shitty' day."

Marc wrote:

This is gonna be nasty, but hey I asked....so I may as well answer my own question....

When I was about 20, I was at work one day and had to take a dump very, very badly. I had already taken my 30 min. lunch break (it was what I ate at lunch....Chinese....that put me in this predicament), so all that was left at that point was my final 10 min. break. Wanting to be discreet, instead of using the single person bathroom that was in the store I worked (because I would have been in there a minute.....and chances are the smell wouldn't have been discreet), I decided to go out into the mall and use the mens restroom, which was literally on the OTHER side of the mall. Great. As I furiously walked (my stomach in knots....and knowing that I only had 10 minutes), my bowels began to release. I held on as long as I could and managed to keep most of it in. Finally I got to the toilet and experienced sweet relief. But those underwear I had on were now unwearable. Like Tony, I had to toss them.

LOL (x10)....hey, if we can talk about masturbation habits....

In the words of DL Hugley:
"I don't care who you are, every man has had a 'shitty' day."

Everyone has been so honest, I will share mine. Driving home from my parents about 11 years ago, I HAD to go #2. I was hung over from the night before and my stomach was a mess to begin with. I was on a county highway that was 15 miles to the nearest gas station. So, I pulled over on a side road and did what I had to do in one of my son's diapers. That is so gross, but it was that or not in the diaper, but happening anyway.

Once after me and my girlfriend came home from a date, I was literally stuffed but for whatever reason got blindsided by the heat of the moment as we started fooling around. Not good to be totally naked, thrashing around on the bed and then suddenly your small intestine wants to tell a joke.

When I was in the 5th grade, one time I had to urinate really bad. Like most school teachers, mine had this ridiculous rule about not letting kids take bathroom breaks during class. I really had to go, it was serious. I asked and asked. Teacher kept saying "No". This went on for about 20 mins. I was about 90 seconds away from wetting my pants. Finally I literally got down on my knees in front of her, throwing myself at her mercy. Begged & pleaded "PLEASE...." The other kids cracked up laughing at this. Finally she rolled her eyes and said "Go Jason." I ran my ass out the room like it was on fire.

GrayWolf wrote:

Once after me and my girlfriend came home from a date, I was literally stuffed but for whatever reason got blindsided by the heat of the moment as we started fooling around. Not good to be totally naked, thrashing around on the bed and then suddenly your small intestine wants to tell a joke.

Was it a knock-knock joke?

RedBedroom wrote:

Everyone has been so honest, I will share mine. Driving home from my parents about 11 years ago, I HAD to go #2. I was hung over from the night before and my stomach was a mess to begin with. I was on a county highway that was 15 miles to the nearest gas station. So, I pulled over on a side road and did what I had to do in one of my son's diapers. That is so gross, but it was that or not in the diaper, but happening anyway.

GrayWolf wrote:

Once after me and my girlfriend came home from a date, I was literally stuffed but for whatever reason got blindsided by the heat of the moment as we started fooling around. Not good to be totally naked, thrashing around on the bed and then suddenly your small intestine wants to tell a joke.

I was watching Loveline of MTV once....and this caller said that every time he ejaculated, he had to take a dump afterwards.

(Oh look....I've meshed the Bathroom and Masturbation threads together....)

Marc wrote:

I was watching Loveline of MTV once....and this caller said that every time he ejaculated, he had to take a dump afterwards.

(Oh look....I've meshed the Bathroom and Masturbation threads together....)

Imaging having to always have sex and jerk off sitting on the toilet!

Once I was going #2 in a public restroom and someone went into the next stall. I saw the shadow of their legs and feet for a second, then all of the sudden no shadow at all but I didn't hear 'em leave. I had a feeling they were standing on the toilet, looking over the top of the stall into mine but he was fast to duck his head back under the top, so I didn't catch him AT FIRST. Finally I acted like I was totally oblivious and not noticing any of this. So I stared down at the floor for about 20 seconds and then briskly looked up and CAUGHT him. lol

I didn't know whether to be mad or find it funny because it became this game almost.

RobbieFTW wrote:

Once I was going #2 in a public restroom and someone went into the next stall. I saw the shadow of their legs and feet for a second, then all of the sudden no shadow at all but I didn't hear 'em leave. I had a feeling they were standing on the toilet, looking over the top of the stall into mine but he was fast to duck his head back under the top, so I didn't catch him AT FIRST. Finally I acted like I was totally oblivious and not noticing any of this. So I stared down at the floor for about 20 seconds and then briskly looked up and CAUGHT him. lol


I didn't know whether to be mad or find it funny because it became this game almost.

Sounds like this one was into some kinky stuff!!

RobbieFTW wrote:

Once I was going #2 in a public restroom and someone went into the next stall. I saw the shadow of their legs and feet for a second, then all of the sudden no shadow at all but I didn't hear 'em leave. I had a feeling they were standing on the toilet, looking over the top of the stall into mine but he was fast to duck his head back under the top, so I didn't catch him AT FIRST. Finally I acted like I was totally oblivious and not noticing any of this. So I stared down at the floor for about 20 seconds and then briskly looked up and CAUGHT him. lol

I didn't know whether to be mad or find it funny because it became this game almost.

Think I would have been mad.