Bathroom Etiquette

1. If you go into a bathroom with 2 urinals, and one is in use, and a stall is open, use the stall and don't stand next to another man peeing.

2. Refrain from farting while your peeing if another man is in thebathroom. If fart can't be contained, use a stall so your face in not seen, or leave the bathroom.

3. Ater taking a stinky dump, do not leave the stall while anotherman is in the bathrrom to see you. Use your hearing to tell when the bathroom is empty.

4. Ensure that another man, perhaps at the sinks, can't see you if you are going to take a whiff of soiled toilet paper after wiping butt.

5. It is natural to lift up your butt to admire a dump you have taken, just ensure nobody else can see you do it.

6. When leaving the stall after a dump, wash your hands, or at least run some water to give the appearance of hand washing.

7. Shake your private part as many time as neccessary to avoid leaving the bathroom with a wet stain on your pants.

8. Wipe butt after dump as many times a neccessary to remove residual poop. Some dumps won't come clean without a bath or shower, but wipe and remove as much as is humanly possible.

9. Do not look at another man's private part while he is peeing, even though you may have the curiosity to do so.

10. Don't look through the crack in the stall while another man is taking a dump and don't look underneath the stall while taking a dump to see another man's shoes and identify him.

Yeah. There definitely does NOT need to be any unisex bathrooms. Even though females can be nastier than men.

Tony Marino wrote:

Bathroom Etiquette

1. If you go into a bathroom with 2 urinals, and one is in use, and a stall is open, use the stall and don't stand next to another man peeing.

2. Refrain from farting while your peeing if another man is in thebathroom. If fart can't be contained, use a stall so your face in not seen, or leave the bathroom.

3. Ater taking a stinky dump, do not leave the stall while anotherman is in the bathrrom to see you. Use your hearing to tell when the bathroom is empty.

4. Ensure that another man, perhaps at the sinks, can't see you if you are going to take a whiff of soiled toilet paper after wiping butt.

5. It is natural to lift up your butt to admire a dump you have taken, just ensure nobody else can see you do it.

6. When leaving the stall after a dump, wash your hands, or at least run some water to give the appearance of hand washing.

7. Shake your private part as many time as neccessary to avoid leaving the bathroom with a wet stain on your pants.

8. Wipe butt after dump as many times a neccessary to remove residual poop. Some dumps won't come clean without a bath or shower, but wipe and remove as much as is humanly possible.

9. Do not look at another man's private part while he is peeing, even though you may have the curiosity to do so.

10. Don't look through the crack in the stall while another man is taking a dump and don't look underneath the stall while taking a dump to see another man's shoes and identify him.

I didn't know about rule #1. I only use the stalls to pee if both urinals are occupied.

FM's Bathroom Etiquette Revision: Stay the hell outta may way and I'll stay the hell outta yours.

Break this etiquette and we got a problem.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:

FM's Bathroom Etiquette Revision: Stay the hell outta may way and I'll stay the hell outta yours.

Break this etiquette and we got a problem.

Good one FM

Thanks

Tony Marino wrote:

Bathroom Etiquette

1. If you go into a bathroom with 2 urinals, and one is in use, and a stall is open, use the stall and don't stand next to another man peeing. As long as we both keep our eyes pointed straight ahead, I see no reason to go hide.

2. Refrain from farting while your peeing if another man is in the bathroom. If fart can't be contained, use a stall so your face in not seen, or leave the bathroom. If I'm at a urinal and I feel that something else might escape, I'm not going to injure myself trying to stop it.

3. After taking a stinky dump, do not leave the stall while anotherman is in the bathrrom to see you. Use your hearing to tell when the bathroom is empty. Isn't that what courtesy flushes are for?

4. Ensure that another man, perhaps at the sinks, can't see you if you are going to take a whiff of soiled toilet paper after wiping butt. No need because I'm never going to do that.

5. It is natural to lift up your butt to admire a dump you have taken, just ensure nobody else can see you do it. Hell, I call them over so they can admire my work too!

6. When leaving the stall after a dump, wash your hands, or at least run some water to give the appearance of hand washing. The "or at least" part is why I usually use a paper towel to open the door.

7. Shake your private part as many time as neccessary to avoid leaving the bathroom with a wet stain on your pants. Hey, anything more than two times is just playing with yourself!

8. Wipe butt after dump as many times a neccessary to remove residual poop. Some dumps won't come clean without a bath or shower, but wipe and remove as much as is humanly possible. This is a good rule but flush the toilet as you go, don't try to flush a whole roll of TP at one time. Either that or make sure your pants aren't still down around your ankles.

9. Do not look at another man's private part while he is peeing, even though you may have the curiosity to do so. See #1 above.

10. Don't look through the crack in the stall while another man is taking a dump and don't look underneath the stall while taking a dump to see another man's shoes and identify him. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

I suppose it's also a rule not to stand at a urinal and say to yourself (but load enough for anyone else to hear), "Man, that burns!" Or to be in a stall and say, "I don't remember eating that."

I figure this is as good a place as any to add this.

Quote :

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles (or offices) and suddenly
felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable.
For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else
gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has
been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If here are others
in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious
if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not
happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee.
It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea
or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare
everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air
time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can
be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell
does not exist...... can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The
Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office
for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

SAFE HAVENS: Seldom used bathrooms somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that
are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one
of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in
the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used
to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall.
This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the
pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident.
If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water..... often accompanied
by an Escapee. Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait
to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.