So last night I go out to a beer joint with a buddy and his other friend who i'd never met before. Guy was cool really talkative and outgoing. My bud and his other bud were having a blast with their beers and flirting with the waitresses. Me I felt like the 3rd wheel and had little to say. Couple times my bud looks at me and asks if I'm good, I nodded yeah but in the back of my head was a little sore over his other friend being there. Not my personality to be this petty but it was what it was, I begrudged his other friends presence. Made up an excuse that I had something to do and left early.

It happens, sometimes in an atmosphere like that we tend to not to want to share the company we came along with. Maybe you and the other guy had little in common but I know exactly what you mean. I don't think its jealously, maybe resentment?

Resentment IS probably the better word. Wouldn't have been as big a deal if I knew the other guy, but he just kind of showed up and was invited to hang out.

Impact wrote:

Resentment IS probably the better word. Wouldn't have been as big a deal if I knew the other guy, but he just kind of showed up and was invited to hang out.

Thats it then, since he showed up uninvited and you didn't know him you may have resented the fact that he took your friends attention away from you and that is why you felt like the 3rd wheel, especially if your friend was conversing with him more than you. No big deal though, it passes.

I can completely relate and have reacted the same way with friends. At work there's this real cool guy who's still relatively new and because he's been sitting next to me since he started, we chat and laugh and sometimes hangout during lunch. We've gotten to be friends and he's one of my favorite people there. Lately he's been buddying up with other people at the job and I admit that sometimes I am resentful seeing it. We have this instant message system called "SPARK", where all the managers & employees can message each other back and forth about work related details. Of course the employees IM each other being silly and playing around. A few weeks ago I went to a next level training session. The guy teaching it was just another employee who was already on that level. During the session he had his SPARK up over the powerpoint projector. Then the spark music play, he gets an IM from the guy that was like "Hey! What's up?" and they go on to have this silly little text exchange joking around. The whole time I'm thinking to myself "This guy hasn't SPARK'd me all day!" and I was a lil' salty over seeing them pal around like that.

I can be the same way Impact. Not so much if they already had this friend, but rather if they just made a new one. Fear that this new person they're bonding with will take their attention away from me.

It is totally natural to sometimes not be in the mood for a last minute invited person when you were not intending that person to be there. I have had that happen.

I've experienced a tinge of resentment at friends other friends or new friends. You know how ridiculous it is, and that admitting it would make you look petty as hell, so you just sort of keep it to yourself until the new person in your friends life either gets hit by a bus/abducted by aliens or the mood passes.

JB wrote:

I can completely relate and have reacted the same way with friends. At work there's this real cool guy who's still relatively new and because he's been sitting next to me since he started, we chat and laugh and sometimes hangout during lunch. We've gotten to be friends and he's one of my favorite people there. Lately he's been buddying up with other people at the job and I admit that sometimes I am resentful seeing it. We have this instant message system called "SPARK", where all the managers & employees can message each other back and forth about work related details. Of course the employees IM each other being silly and playing around. A few weeks ago I went to a next level training session. The guy teaching it was just another employee who was already on that level. During the session he had his SPARK up over the powerpoint projector. Then the spark music play, he gets an IM from the guy that was like "Hey! What's up?" and they go on to have this silly little text exchange joking around. The whole time I'm thinking to myself "This guy hasn't SPARK'd me all day!" and I was a lil' salty over seeing them pal around like that.

You don't like other people around him and want his time and attention focused squarely on you. If I didn't know better, I'd say you had a crush on that guy.