Talking to your kids about sex

Where do you stand on this issue?


I brought this up on a board on the IMDb and I'd wager to say 90% of all people who respond to such a thing firmly believe the school, NOT the parents, should be the ones to talk to the kids about sex. Because after all, parents are not certified teachers so they don't know anything and can never be trusted to teach their kids anything and get it right...hmmmmm, could that be why kids are practically LIVING in schools today, to keep them away from the bad influence of anything their parents could teach them? Sounds very familiar...oh wait, I know...

Heredity and environment are funny things. You can't rid yourselves of all the odd ducks in just a few years. The home environment can undo a lot you try to do at school. That's why we've lowered the kindergarten age year after year until now we're almost snatching them from the cradle."

From Fahrenheit 451, a book almost 60 years old.


But I digress...on the same board, of all the women/mothers there was NOT a SINGLE ONE who would want the schools telling their daughters about their periods, oh no THAT is going to be the mothers' job, well why? Nobody got pregnant from a period, nobody got an STD from a period, THAT is a mother's responsibility but they shouldn't be trusted explaining sex to their children?

My own take on it is we all agree no good comes from parents who have kids and then take the easy way out on everything and leave everyone else to raise their kids and teach them all the hard facts of life...I think the parents ought to take on that responsibility themselves to make sure their child is getting the right information first and foremost...and I can understand some parents are embarrassed, well too bad, this is a fact of life, you shouldn't get to opt out of it because it's not the most fun discussion you have with your kids. And I can also appreciate there are a lot of parents who don't know much about it themselves, but this IS the information age, you can find out about sex in a variety of ways (shut up), medical/text books, information sites for teenagers, doctors, etc., so I really can't see any excuse why parents should be able to take a walk on this one when it's one of the most important things a child needs to learn about for life and I would not leave that responsibility up to a minimum wage, overworked, understaffed teacher with an overabundance of students and under abundance of time and patience.

I'm shocked to think that there are ANY parents who think that they should not be the ones to tell their own children about sex. Of course they should, that's a no brainer.

I also think that they should talk about periods in health class, part of health isn't it?

I remember a few years back MTV had a special on discussing the AIDS awareness in the young people and to hear some of the women they interviewed talk, learning about periods was the ONLY sex education they got in school and they had one young mother on who said she didn't learn about sex until AFTER she had her baby.

thepossiblepolice wrote:I'm shocked to think that there are ANY parents who think that they should not be the ones to tell their own children about sex. Of course they should, that's a no brainer.

I also think that they should talk about periods in health class, part of health isn't it?

I agree 100%. Unless a parent sits in on a sex ed class (how fun for the kid would that be?!?) she can't be sure the kids have been talked to properly about it. Parents need to open the lines of communication on that too.

I think that the "body" stuff like cycles and erections are a good thing to be talked about in health because I think parents have a hard time telling their children about the bodies of the opposite sex of the child being spoken to.

And that's the thing I don't get about the crowd on IMDb, 'teachers are certified so of COURSE they'll teach the kids the things they need to know'. So teachers never do anything wrong, never go into a lecture ill-equipped, never slack back because they don't care and get paid enough to care. Teachers are only people too, just like the parents, they may have jumped through a few test hoops to make a title for themselves as teachers but that doesn't make them anymore likely to teach kids the right things.

Not that I am defending the posters at IMDb, but it is not as if they are having the Math teacher teach sex ed. In younger grades it has been my belief that it is a guidance counselor that comes in with a presentation. But that is not to say that all guidance counselors like that segment of their job, so it is always best for parents to make sure the kids know what they want the kids to know.

Exactly....I can't figure out why so many parents seem to pride themselves on escaping that part of their responsibility as parents...I would think if anything you would be more proud with yourself for making sure your child was properly informed about the facts of life.

It should be both.

Rockbird wrote:It should be both.

I agree with this too. I fully support sex ed in schools, because it's such an important thing, it should be reinforced. Also kids doubt their parents some times I think, like they think other adults know more about stuff.

For me it's not about teachers being their only source of info, it's just a piece of the pie of info that they will gather from their parents, peers, media and school.

My oldest is nine and my kids know all about egg, sperm, conception, pregnancy, breastfeeding...But they do not know how the man's sperm gets to the woman's egg yet. They know it swims to it, but not how it gets there in the first place.

Soon I'll have to tell my oldest about it, I'm not looking forward to it because I was HORRIFIED when my mom told me about it, I was 8 or 9 and thought that it was the most disgusting thing that I had ever heard.

But I still think that it's my responsibility!

I think one thing that's important when parents have "the talk" is that they don't just assume their pubescent child is heterosexual. That always pissed me off. It's not like it's the default.

Took sex ed classes in school but other than that no one ever had "the talk" with me. My mom when i was a kid used to make passing remarks about "being responsible" whenever the topic floated by but never elaborated much. Its that way for alot of kids probably.

Shale wrote: Also my contemporaries were doing revolutionary sex ed for little kids, such as the classic "Where Did I Come From" - 1973

Oh wow, there's a flashback. Sold more than a few copies when I worked at the bookstore.

Schools can be a great resource but I wouldn't leave it up to the school entirely. I'd rather be the one telling my child about sex and about gender differences.

I can't say I'm shocked that so many parents think it's the school's responsibility. It's just another example of the parents who expect everyone else to raise their child - the school should feed the child, clothe the child, babysit their child, counsel their child, make sure their child gets enough exercise, set up programs for the child, and so on. No wonder so many kids have it so tough, when so many parents dump everything on the school.

I can tell you that I was not happy when my third grader came home and said "I don't believe what they say that F word means". It took a great deal of explaining, because our 2 girls didn't even know about periods yet. So first I had to go through all that, then we had the chat about exactly what sex was. Then we had the chat about why we don't tell all our friends what we just learned, because the other kids parents would want to tell them about it in their own way. The oldest one said "How disgusting", the younger one was thrilled about the whole idea. Then I had to talk about respecting their bodies enough to not just give it away to any tom dick or harry who might try to talk them into it . I also told them that people who used the F word did so because they thought sex was dirty. Still they got a whole lot better than I did, all I knew about sex was what I could read in books. A neighbor told me about periods. Later my grandmother and aunt were talking about the baby one of my cousins just had, they mentioned after birth, so I asked grandma later "whats an after birth", she said she didn't know. Years later I asked grandma why she had said she didn't know, she said because she didn't know.

Worse was that I was the one who had to have the chat with our son. I couldn't talk Time into being the one.

You know what? They all grew up, and I never heard "why didn't you tell me?"

thepossiblepolice wrote:I'm shocked to think that there are ANY parents who think that they should not be the ones to tell their own children about sex. Of course they should, that's a no brainer.

I also think that they should talk about periods in health class, part of health isn't it?

I'm for Sex Ed. in schools, but that is largely for the purpose of facts and statistics. Every parent should have that talk with their kids about sex and relationships, from a personal or moral perspective. That anyone would believe that it should all fall on the schools is silly.

Impact wrote:

thepossiblepolice wrote:I'm shocked to think that there are ANY parents who think that they should not be the ones to tell their own children about sex. Of course they should, that's a no brainer.

I also think that they should talk about periods in health class, part of health isn't it?

I'm for Sex Ed. in schools, but that is largely for the purpose of facts and statistics. Every parent should have that talk with their kids about sex and relationships, from a personal or moral perspective. That anyone would believe that it should all fall on the schools is silly.

Well it really goes without saying because it seems very common knowledge, but that means, as we all know, that the IMDb is full of silly people, and that's not a compliment.

I think sex info should come from both a sex education class and from the kid's parents. Kids need all the sex education that they can get. That's what happened with me. I was educated in school about it and by my Mom.

I think sex info should come from both a sex education class and from the kid's parents. Kids need all the sex education that they can get. That's what happened with me. I was educated in school about it and by my Mom.

It's a parents' job to talk about it. By the time kids get all the gory statistics and physical details, they should've already had that talk with the rents.

Crazy talk. And yet these same parents would probably be upset if one of these teachers they expect to co-raise their child were to slap them for being disrespectful.

^^^ That's for sure. The teacher in one of the classes I'm in told me that last fall, she'd picked 4 kids to work on a special art project for an assembly. She needed 4 kids who could work well together and get everything done in time. She picked four girls she knew would do well together. The Mom of one boy in the class came in to complain and went on for an hour about how the teacher must not have seen his hand and how devastated he was that he couldn't take part and artistic he was and that it was wrong that he wasn't allowed to help out. The teacher tried explaining things and that not all of the kids who had their hands up could take part but the Mom wasn't hearing any of it. There have been other issues where the Mom has come in and gone on and on and on so it's no wonder her kid is full of attitude and arrogance and thinks he can do no wrong.

Kinda OT, but I had to explain to my son tonight the difference between pads and tampons and he wanted to know what made women choose one over the other.

There are just some days I wish Shale was his Papa, and I could just send him to the beautifully honest, blunt Papa Shale for a day of explanation of all things I can't explain without discomfort...