Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?

I don't think there is really a way to ensure that your spouse doesn't cheat. I believe one can merely decide for themselves that they won't cheat. IMO, if both partners are properly grounded in the way they're supposed to be, it's the most effective way possible. People underrate it but in my experience, it's worked.

I don't think there is any way at all. Even couples that have a solid faith for years can go bust if one gets bored or whatever it is that makes them cheat.

Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.

Impact wrote:

Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.

No, I don't think there's any way to make a relationship immune to affairs. Just do the best you can to please yourself and your partner and if after all that they still stray, hell with them.

Impact wrote:

Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.

Very well put Impact.

It was very simple, if I couldn't trust him I didn't want him. He's never done anything to make me feel I couldn't trust him. I always said if we got a divorce I wouldn't marry again because I would hate men, If he died I wouldn't marry again because no man could live up to him.


Poor Time, fact is even if he had wanted to have an affair he couldn't afford another woman.

No, you can't control whether there is an affair, you just hope for the best. I am married nearly 18 years come Sunday, and I have not had an affair and I know (of course, I fully believe) my husband has not, either.

Trusting someone is one thing, but you also have to trust that if it were to happen, an affair, you would do the right thing, what ever that may be.

No there's nothing that's 100%. The best you can do is to maintain trust & respect in the relationship. And as Impact said, communication. But no matter what you do there are still no guarantees.

Chris wrote:

Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?

Don't be a couple.

My advice would be to just not have sex w/someone else.

Chris wrote:

Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?

About the only way I think it can be done is to be involved with someone in a coma.

alan smithee wrote:

Chris wrote:

Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?

About the only way I think it can be done is to be involved with someone in a coma.

To be on the safe side they would probably both have to be in a coma.

MarQ-Boogie wrote:

There is no way to "affair-proof" a relationship but if you claim to love someone you wouldn't have an affair in the first place.

The majority of people in this generation nor society today know what love truly is- they only know lust.

True love doesn't negatively hurt anyone.

That is purely subjective, and true lovers do get bored, interested and lose interest in general, at times....

Quote :

Love is NOT subjective

?????

Love is probably the MOST subjective of all our defined bonds in life. Maybe you meant to say "true love" but even that is subjective due to the precarious "true".

I don't think love IS subjective. I think the infatuation often confused with love is what is subjective. IMO, TRUE love goes beyond the emotion. That is hardly subjective.

I agree. Lust and infatuation rule the day lately. But it does still exist I think. And when you do find it, you've really found something special. True love transcends preference and phases. It's a commitment.

be the nastiest, freakiest, slut in the bedroom, cuz wat u wont do some other b**ch will !!

Also, it isn't 'affair-proof' but me and my husband like our life together the way it is, and neither of us wants to rock the boat. I am 55, and the idea of sneaking around having hot sex (even if) seems like a lot of trouble.

And he probably doesn't want the headaches I would cause him if he cheated.