Spoiled Kids - How Much Is Too Much?

I'm hearing all kinds of crazy things about 5 year old's with iPod's, 10 year olds with a Blackberry or an iPad. The iPad I get maybe, it's a computer so it can be "educational," but a Blackberry? Come on...a 10 year old needs to stay connected to email? Coach bags, Uggs and North Face when they are still in grade school.

Where should the line be drawn when it comes to spoiling kids with expensive items?

For some reason a lot of people think your kid MUST have a cell phone, a $200 video game system with a couple dozen games, a blackberry, a PDA, a this, a that, etc., I remember a few years ago when I said when I have kids I am NOT getting them whatever kind of video games are out then, we grew up without them and guess what? it's not a matter of life or death without them, and somebody's resposne was 'then they won't have any friends because everybody will think they're poor'. Well first of all that's about the dumbest thing I ever heard, and second of all, too bad.


I'm also not getting my kids a cell phone either, I can't figure people who justify 5 year olds having a cell phone because apparently they're going to be somewhere where their parents are never going to know where they are so they HAVE to have it to stay in touch with the parents or something...again, grew up without it and turned out fine despite it.

Basically most of the electronic crap that's out there now, I would not be getting it for my kids, what, we aren't 'plugged in' to too much crap as it is?


And expensive clothes? Designer clothes? I get that clothes ARE expensive a lot these days, but once again, we somehow (ha ha) managed to get through life without a wardrobe that would break the bank, when we were really little, our mother made a lot of our stuff and yeah the fabric can be expensive, but compared to designer clothes it'd be a hell of a lot cheaper, and they were very endurable.

If they were my kids they would get exactly what I had at their age. NOTHING.

All I ever had was a rock and a piece of wood!

We still don't have a cell phone, don't see a need for it.

Tony Marino wrote:If they were my kids they would get exactly what I had at their age. NOTHING.

No kidding! I understand parents can raise their kids the way they want & spend their money any way they choose. But there's something about an 8 year old with a Droid that irks the hell outta me.

CeCe wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:If they were my kids they would get exactly what I had at their age. NOTHING.

No kidding! I understand parents can raise their kids the way they want & spend their money any way they choose. But there's something about an 8 year old with a Droid that irks the hell outta me.

I see the spoiling in my own family and these kids are so disrespectful to their parents! They don't listen, they constantly whine that they want more and more and the sad part is that they get what they want!

Tony Marino wrote:

CeCe wrote:

No kidding! I understand parents can raise their kids the way they want & spend their money any way they choose. But there's something about an 8 year old with a Droid that irks the hell outta me.

I see the spoiling in my own family and these kids are so disrespectful to their parents! They don't listen, they constantly whine that they want more and more and the sad part is that they get what they want!

This kind of over spoiling creates selfish little monsters who grow into selfish adult monsters. They don't have the opportunity to know what it's like to do without or work for what you have. They don't know what it's like to actually appreciate something.

CeCe wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

I see the spoiling in my own family and these kids are so disrespectful to their parents! They don't listen, they constantly whine that they want more and more and the sad part is that they get what they want!

This kind of over spoiling creates selfish little monsters who grow into selfish adult monsters. They don't have the opportunity to know what it's like to do without or work for what you have. They don't know what it's like to actually appreciate something.

Exactly and I feel sorry for the Parents for what they are going to have to deal with when the little whiners get older.

I think it's more of a problem when they can't do anything for themselves and are so self-absorbed that they blame others for their low self-esteem.

Quotes from "Rachel," my friend's current, spoiled roommate:

"You can't wear low-cut shirts, because then men don't talk to me. You're a bad roommate."

"How do you peel an orange?"

"I'm not spoiled. I just expect to get a new Tiffany's bracelet every year for Christmas."

"You should dump your boyfriend; he wears glasses."

"North Korea and South Korea are the same country, right?"

"I lost my Tiffany's bracelet. It was $400. Oh, well, my mom won't be mad. I mean, I have others."

Rockbird wrote:I think it's more of a problem when they can't do anything for themselves and are so self-absorbed that they blame others for their low self-esteem.

Quotes from "Rachel," my friend's current, spoiled roommate:

"You can't wear low-cut shirts, because then men don't talk to me. You're a bad roommate."

"How do you peel an orange?"

"I'm not spoiled. I just expect to get a new Tiffany's bracelet every year for Christmas."

"You should dump your boyfriend; he wears glasses."

"North Korea and South Korea are the same country, right?"

"I lost my Tiffany's bracelet. It was $400. Oh, well, my mom won't be mad. I mean, I have others."

Now that's a pathetic person. Although that one about an orange, I never said that but as a kid I could never figure it out because we had one of those plastic orange peelers, and I always watched my dad do it but he was left handed and I'm right handed so when I tried I never got anywhere with it. It took me a few years to figure out how to get it right but I figured it out before I became an adult.

It really has gone over board. There are so many over entitled kids who can't think of anyone but themselves. I'd love to take them and drop them in Tent City in Haiti or in the slums of India for a few weeks and give them a sense of how most of the world lives. One of my co workers thought that would be too traumatic for them and that it wouldn't make a difference but I think some of these kids really need to recognize how good they have things.

It's a little extreme but I think it's a good idea, take them from one extreme to the other to the other side of the spectrum and let them realize how good they had it.

Well - the idea came to me after I got a letter from one of my little ones in Haiti, thanking me for the food I sent(actually it was the organization I sponsor through that provided food packets), and saying that she and her family really needed them. i went to work the next day and the kids were being treated to Sundaes and were whining and complaining that they were only allowed a limited number of toppings and this kid got more gummi bears and why couldn't they have two scoops this topping and so and so got three helpings and they only had two. This went on for most of the hour or so that we were serving the Sundaes. A handful of kids said thank you but most were greedy and gluttonous and all I could think about was the letter I got the day before from a precious 10 year old in Haiti, who was living in a tent due to the earthquake and unable to attend school because both her home and school had been destroyed, thanking me for sending food. That's when I felt like taking the lot of them and dropping them off in a place where the kids would be grateful for an apple, not whining that they only got one spoonful of gummi bears.

When I was growing up, pretty much anything that wasn't necessary to my basic needs was an "extra." I started babysitting at the age of 13 to buy myself the "treats" that I wanted, keyword here being WANTED, not needed. Something that cost over about $50 at the time, my mom would 'match' me dollar for dollar until I could get it. We never had things handed to us just because we wanted them or they were the latest rage. Thank God for that as I know the value of a dollar where kids these days don't.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:Well - the idea came to me after I got a letter from one of my little ones in Haiti, thanking me for the food I sent(actually it was the organization I sponsor through that provided food packets), and saying that she and her family really needed them. i went to work the next day and the kids were being treated to Sundaes and were whining and complaining that they were only allowed a limited number of toppings and this kid got more gummi bears and why couldn't they have two scoops this topping and so and so got three helpings and they only had two. This went on for most of the hour or so that we were serving the Sundaes. A handful of kids said thank you but most were greedy and gluttonous and all I could think about was the letter I got the day before from a precious 10 year old in Haiti, who was living in a tent due to the earthquake and unable to attend school because both her home and school had been destroyed, thanking me for sending food. That's when I felt like taking the lot of them and dropping them off in a place where the kids would be grateful for an apple, not whining that they only got one spoonful of gummi bears.

Oh,man...your post was awesome, but made me tear up. The sentiment you make is close to my heart, as I am often so sickened by how spoiled our kids are.

Your post really reminds me of how sad I became very often when my son was in elementary. In his elementary school, the teachers always gave candy treats for good scores on tests. That makes me cringe.

I try to teach my son that his good grades are his responsibility, and he has to do that, nothing else is an option.

Awsome post TSJ. I’m in no way condoning their behavior but kids aren’t born with a sense of entitlement. They get that from mom and dad. Keep your kids short on pocket money and long on hugs.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:Well - the idea came to me after I got a letter from one of my little ones in Haiti, thanking me for the food I sent(actually it was the organization I sponsor through that provided food packets), and saying that she and her family really needed them. i went to work the next day and the kids were being treated to Sundaes and were whining and complaining that they were only allowed a limited number of toppings and this kid got more gummi bears and why couldn't they have two scoops this topping and so and so got three helpings and they only had two. This went on for most of the hour or so that we were serving the Sundaes. A handful of kids said thank you but most were greedy and gluttonous and all I could think about was the letter I got the day before from a precious 10 year old in Haiti, who was living in a tent due to the earthquake and unable to attend school because both her home and school had been destroyed, thanking me for sending food. That's when I felt like taking the lot of them and dropping them off in a place where the kids would be grateful for an apple, not whining that they only got one spoonful of gummi bears.

Oh yeah - I don't blame the kids. I blame the parents. maybe we should drop the parents off along with the kids? let them see what it's like for many parents in other places in the world?

I did get the attention of a couple of kids the other day when they were whining about how stupid it was that they had to go to school. I asked them if they'd prefer to be out working alongside their families and they got excited until I pointed out that I was talking about working in a dump, sorting through it for anything that could be recycle and if you were lucky, you'd get 1 meal that day, if you found enough scraps. I told them how many kids their age would give anything to go to school but had to be out working with their families and learning a living so the family could have food - that these kids didn't have time to play and be with their friends - that all they did was worked. Some of the other, better behaved kids in the class got interested at that point and began asking questions and it turned into a nice discussion. The two who were whining were pretty surprised that not every child lived as they did.

But yeah - I blame the parents most of all. They're the ones raising self-entitled kids who only think of themselves.