Somebody I have known for most of my life died today

First of all, this is not a person I am close to and his death is not a shocker....he was pushing 90 and smoked a pack a day.

Nonetheless, it is something else, to me. Of all the people on the planet that I knew from a young age, and still know, he was at the top of the list. He was friend to my parents, living in the town they retired to. Since our summer home was there, I have known him since I was old enough to remember stuff. His youngest child is pushing 30 and I can recall her being born in summer when were were there, and him saying, "It's a girl," when he walked to the patio of our summer home.

About 8 years ago, he was on his way out, but recovered. I had written a poem about him and they are going to use it at his service and I can't find my original copy and that is driving me a bit batty, as I want to remind myself what I wrote! I won't be at his service this weekend.



Have you ever lost someone who you knew for years and years, and perhaps felt guilty because you were not more sad than you were? Cuz that is where I am right now...

I'm sorry Red. Sorry that someone you knew for that long is gone but more so that you seem to feel guilty because you're not more upset. I think I've been in your situation and no, I haven't felt excessive sadness for the death of a long time acquaintance like an elderly parent of a friend if I wasn’t that close to them. More like sympathy for my friend who lost them. It doesn’t sound like you were that close, you just knew him a long time.

Thanks, Alan. There is a long story associated with his wife and my parents, and that is part of it....I no longer will speak to his wife due to how she treated my Mom in the months leading to Mom's passing. So in recent years, I have only seen Bob, at Dad's when he popped in for coffee.

It is all just pretty sad to think of what a wealth of information that man was about the town he lived in all his life. Nobody ever chronicled it, and had his wife not taken a turn toward crazyville, I would have done that. None of his kids would. Before Mom passed, I was set to do just that, but his crazy wife prevented that.

im sorry to hear bout that red

Have you ever lost someone who you knew for years and years, and perhaps felt guilty because you were not more sad than you were? Cuz that is where I am right now..

i think i can relate to what your thinking, i had a very good fren pass when i was 15, it had really hit me hard, and took awhile to get over.. an bout 2 years later i had lost my uncle in a car accident, tho i had known my uncle my whole life at that point, we werent close at all, he was about 13 years older than i was, an i did feel bad, because i had grieved more when my fren had passed then i did when my uncle passed.

Thanks, Cheaps. I know exactly what you mean. I was 22 when a person I knew from my home town died in an accident. That was so huge to me due to his age and our experiences together as friends.

I'm sorry to hear about his passing, Red. I've lost a few people like that - people I wish I'd had a chance to know more, but wasn't really close to. It's sad that so much history is lost when someone like that dies.

Thanks, TSJ.....

It is sad tht he has this huge amount of history and it is not written at all.

Sorry to hear that Red.

To answer the question, though: yes. My aunt died about five years ago, and while the news was sad, it would be a lie to say that I grieved. She was my grandmothers sister, and my grandmother and grandfather had just died months before her (and within a year of each other.) By the time she passed, I was a bit numb over all the recent death.

Sorry for your loss RB. Have had people in my life who i knew well die but i dont think anyone who i was close to ever died w/o me feeling tore up bout it. Sometime i wonder how i would react if my dad died. i would go to the funeral but would i cry? Dunno if I would or wouldnt.

I hate to sound like a parrot, but sorry to hear about your loss Red.

Sorry to hear of the passing of a friend Red. You feel the way you feel due to circumstances and probably because you knew him for so long but didn't have an every day social with him. You should not feel guilty, feel proud they are using your poem at his funeral, its an honor to him and to you!

Sorry to hear that I agree with everyone else, you shouldn't feel guilty. You weren't close & 90 is a great life.

Sorry to hear that.