Do you think parents (and/or schools) should force kids to play sports, or learn to play a musical instrument or take tap, etc., etc.?

I can't really see what good it'd do because if it's the parent's idea and not the kid's, they're not going to bother putting much effort into it, they have to want it for themselves.

I don't think they should be forced ever, or it makes a mess all around. I think parents should encourage it, but understand if the child doesn't want to partake.

I do think though, that once a child signs on, he should be made to finish out the length of the season, or lessons. I have seen a few friends' kids opt out of playing an instrument, after committing for the school year, or quit a team. And I don't think parents should allow quitting unless there are extreme circumstances.

Suggested, encouraged but never forced. Some kids are just not into either. There's nothing wrong with that. Kids are better off if they can be involved with things that interest them.

oh..& the school better stay out of family business.

Perhaps I'd encourage them to try it out, but not force it. No point in throwing away money on piano and tap lessons if they're not into it, just so they can eventually quit before coming anywhere near mastering it.

Nope.

I believe that is OK in some cases. Also, it may also depend on the child's age. At 17 year old teenager? I would not. However, a younger kids may be OK.

When one of our daughters started junior high she said she was going to take French to meet the language requirement for graduation.

She chose French simply because she wanted to be with her friends in class. I told her she was not going to take French that she is going to take German. I told her that I would most likely be transfered to Germany sometime down the road.
She argued and did not like it but she had not choice.
Sure enough, when she was about to start her junior year I got orders to Heidelberg, Germany. When we got to Germany she already had a head start with speaking German and she liked it. When I got orders to return to the states she decided to stay in Germany because she liked it. She actually stayed ther over ten years and she loved it and became very fluent in German. She now says she was glad I stood firm with her taking German in high school.

The same can be said about a sport or a musicla instrument. It is good to include kids on their school goals but as parent there are times we need to tell kids what may be good for them in the long run. A parent may think that a sport may help a shy child become more assetive as he could learn that in competition depending he may be in a single type of sport or as a team. As far as music a parent may see in the child a skill or talent the child may not realize. That is what parents do. Now, if a parent forces a child to join a sport because it is a family tradition and he expects his child to play that sport I do not see that as good parenting.

There are many examples of talented muscisians and athletes that do credit mom or dad for the success they have achieved in music or in sport when they did not want to be that when they were young.

A similar situation when someone is forced to do something not realizing it could be for his own good is the military service. I joined the Army in the late 70s. In my generation many of my peers said they joined because a judge told them it was either jail or the Army. After 30 years of service many of my peers have told me they were glad the judge "forced" them to join the Army. They have admitted that if they were not given that "choice" they would now be dead or in jail. Many of them became great leaders taking care of Soldiers as senior NCOs.

You have a great day.
Friendly Veteran

RedBedroom wrote:

I don't think they should be forced ever, or it makes a mess all around. I think parents should encourage it, but understand if the child doesn't want to partake.

I do think though, that once a child signs on, he should be made to finish out the length of the season, or lessons. I have seen a few friends' kids opt out of playing an instrument, after committing for the school year, or quit a team. And I don't think parents should allow quitting unless there are extreme circumstances.

We might not agree about shoes in the house Red, but we've got this!

force? no

encourage? sure

Quote :

She chose French simply because she wanted to be with her friends in class. I told her she was not going to take French that she is going to take German. I told her that I would most likely be transfered to Germany sometime down the road.

In a case like that, you were totally right. My son will have the options of Spanish, French, and German next year. He thought German would be "cool". I explained to him that it would be better to learn Spanish because the likelihood of him using that in the future is greater than the other two. So, I am insisting on Spanish for that reason.

No. It's something they have to be interested in themselves. Like I wanted to be in the band when I was in junior high school but the bitch as teacher didn't let me on.

Encouraged, yes but forced no but I agree that if a child commits, they should finish the year out.

There are times when it's fine for a parent to supersede a child's wishes, though.

No, it's the kid's life, they should do what they want. And what is the point of joining an organization or team they're not interested in? It's just a waste of time and energy, not to mention showing what a bully the parent is.