At What Age Should Kids Make "Hair" Decisions?

My daughter is 11 and wants to perm her hair. Up to now, her mother has just been adding heat (pressing combs, curling irons and blow dryers) to straighten it out....or braiding it....but she now wants to do the chemical thing. She was told no, but her mother found a box of perm under her bed tonight. She was going to attempt to do it herself, and that would have been a disaster.

So my question is....how old should kids be before they get to make their own "hair choices?" If your child wanted to dye their hair....if your daughter wanted a bald head or a more "womanly" hair style.....if your son wanted long hair.....if either wanted a mohawk....etc., etc. How old should they be before they get to make these calls themselves?

That really depends on what they want, how expensive it would be and for what reasons.

My son wears his hair long (think Justin Beiber, pre recent cut) and has wanted it that way since he was seven. ((long before it was popular)) It looks good on him, I save on cuts, so it works.

But for something like color or a perm, I don't think it is a good idea. It is too costly for upkeep, and kids are expensive enough as it is.

My whole thing was my daughter is too young to know what she's doing with a perm. The upkeep, etc. etc. She would have tried to do it herself and wound up messing up her scalp with that shit. If she were maybe 14, I wouldn't care....but at 11, I can't trust that she's going to handle the instructions and maintenance. Her mother....I think is more on a power trip over the whole thing, wanting to have say over how she looks period. So even though we're coming from 2 different reasons why, our conclusions both equal out to NO. But this is becoming an issue and I think it will continue to be until my daughter gets her own way.

Marc™ wrote:My whole thing was my daughter is too young to know what she's doing with a perm. The upkeep, etc. etc. She would have tried to do it herself and wound up messing up her scalp with that shit. If she were maybe 14, I wouldn't care....but at 11, I can't trust that she's going to handle the instructions and maintenance. Her mother....I think is more on a power trip over the whole thing, wanting to have say over how she looks period. So even though we're coming from 2 different reasons why, our conclusions both equal out to NO. But this is becoming an issue and I think it will continue to be until my daughter gets her own way.

That has to be hard, but at least you and mom are both coming up with the same answer though your reasons are different. Your girl may be persistent. But it may lessen. Maybe she has a friend who had one done and it looks great....but what she has to understand is that not all perms turn out the same on two people. My son has a friend who had parents who let him add blue. My son really wanted that. But, in the end, the want faded as soon as the blue in the friend's hair!

At 12 and 13 I wanted to get my hair colored blue and purple, also around that time I wanted to get it all chopped off, which I did anyway a few years back, but my mother always put her foot down and looking back now I'm glad she did because I wonder what the hell I would've looked like if I'd been able to do the things I wanted to try.

I agree with Red that it depends on what they want done, the cost and how old the child is, as well as how mature the child is. I do think 11 is young to be adding such harsh chemicals to your hair. Back when i worked in the daycare, this one Mom cut her 20 month old son's hair in a Mohawk and it was HIDEOUS because his hair was fine and wouldn't stay up, so she'd add a ton of products to it and then he'd take a nap and wreck it. I really felt bad for this kid, 'cause he was always scratch and rubbing his head. The Grandpa finally took a pair of scissors to it to even it out and he looked a bit better. I have no idea what would posses a Mom to subject her child to that, as the poor kid was miserable with his hair like that.

I just worry abotu using chemicals on someone so young. Even when I see kids with their hair died, it bothers me somethings because they're so young and some of these dies are so harsh.

We did get a kick out of my brother's friend when he began using Kool-aide to die his hair in 1th grade. He had dark blonde hair and every couple of weeks, he'd try a different colour.

Marc™ wrote:My daughter is 11 and wants to perm her hair. Up to now, her mother has just been adding heat (pressing combs, curling irons and blow dryers) to straighten it out....or braiding it....but she now wants to do the chemical thing. She was told no, but her mother found a box of perm under her bed tonight. She was going to attempt to do it herself, and that would have been a disaster.

So my question is....how old should kids be before they get to make their own "hair choices?" If your child wanted to dye their hair....if your daughter wanted a bald head or a more "womanly" hair style.....if your son wanted long hair.....if either wanted a mohawk....etc., etc. How old should they be before they get to make these calls themselves?

My daughter is thirteen and has been in control of her hair choices for a few years now. When it comes to things like that I'm pretty liberal. She can't have a Mohawk, nor can she dye it. Beyond that, it's up to her.

If it's something long term, like a perm or color it would really depend. As far as style they should have some input even at a fairly early age. My daughter when she was fairly young wanted shoulder length with layers & bangs. When she wanted it bleached, her input experienced stoppage.

I think some parents can be too controlling about it. But as long as it's not something off the wall or requires a lot of care the way perms & color do, they should have some choice in it. Once they get into their teens as long as they are willing to take care of it-(and perms & color require you to be careful about the shampoo you use, swimming pools & things like that), I'm good with it.

I personally think 11 is too young for a perm. My daughter wanted one of those too. But the expense & care required..no.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:
I just worry abotu using chemicals on someone so young. Even when I see kids with their hair died, it bothers me somethings because they're so young and some of these dies are so harsh.

those chemicals can fry your hair so bad that all you can do is grow it out & cut it off to get rid of it.

I know I begged my mother not to perm my sister's hair. I'm glad me and her are on the same page...she hasn't and she isn't going to. I'm a fan of natural hair. Other than chemically treating it (perming, color, etc) I say whenever they become more aware of they look and appearance, they can make the decisions of how they want to wear it....as long as it's not too crazy.

I'd be pretty free with my child about what they wanted to do with their hair, but with the more expensive stuff like hair-dying and perms, etc., I would say the appropriate age would be 13 or 14. I would try to pay for it if I could, but if I couldn't, they'd need to cough up the money themselves.

Marc™ wrote:My daughter is 11 and wants to perm her hair. Up to now, her mother has just been adding heat (pressing combs, curling irons and blow dryers) to straighten it out....or braiding it....but she now wants to do the chemical thing. She was told no, but her mother found a box of perm under her bed tonight. She was going to attempt to do it herself, and that would have been a disaster.

So my question is....how old should kids be before they get to make their own "hair choices?" If your child wanted to dye their hair....if your daughter wanted a bald head or a more "womanly" hair style.....if your son wanted long hair.....if either wanted a mohawk....etc., etc. How old should they be before they get to make these calls themselves?

Soon as they're old enough to handle the upkeep. An eleven year old, IMO, is just under the wire of being mature enough to handle a perm. If she's not trying to rock an Angela Davis or Macy Gray, then she she can keep on getting it braided and pressed for the next year or so.