Racial Preferences in dating.

What do you think when people say I'm only attracted to [insert race here] or I'm not attracted to [insert race here]...is it another form of racism?

No I think it's just a preference. If you're more (or less) attracted to the general "look" of certain races & ethnicities, then that's just a personal thing. Not racism.

It probably is a form of bigotry, but I can't see getting that upset over someone having a bias one way or another when it comes to down to it. If racially they like this or don't like that, then oh well. That's them.

I think everyone tends to have a "type" that they generally are & aren't attracted to, but it's unfortunate if someone is so bent on this that they close-mindedly shut any and everyone out who doesn't fit into that basic criteria. I tend to go for tall guys, but from time to time have dated shorter guys. It's ok to have a reference preference that you seek out and gravitate to more, but one should still judge people on a case-by-case basis.

JMO

Not quite. Depends on the reason WHY. If you gravitate towards a certain type and it's purely aesthetic, then no. But if you have other underlying reasons and they're based on stereotypes or just a general hate/self-hate...you have issues. I think most people can differentiate between the two.

I think a lot of people have a set type that they are attracted to, I don't think it has to to with racism. Some people like blondes, some like redheads, some like brunettes, everyone has some kind of preference that they are turned on to.

I love everybody!!! People are people and everyone is beautiful!

Nystyle709 wrote:Not quite. Depends on the reason WHY. If you gravitate towards a certain type and it's purely aesthetic, then no. But if you have other underlying reasons and they're based on stereotypes or just a general hate/self-hate...you have issues. I think most people can differentiate between the two.

Very well said N.

I welcome anybody who can afford me in my harem.

It falls more under the category of bigotry than racism but I really don't care tho. Date & fuck who you wanna. No point in getting bent outta shape over it cause somebody like this more than that.

I think racial preferences in dating are probably the most succinct example of how people truly feel about whatever it is they either lust for, or shun.

"I have no problem with __________, I just wouldn't date one."

Think about how that sounds.

Everyone has their preferences that they especially like, but preferences aren't supposed to limit your choices.

Nystyle709 wrote:Not quite. Depends on the reason WHY. If you gravitate towards a certain type and it's purely aesthetic, then no. But if you have other underlying reasons and they're based on stereotypes or just a general hate/self-hate...you have issues. I think most people can differentiate between the two.

Pretty much.

If you overscrutinize then technically it may be but generally it's not. I mean is someone a horrible evil bigot if they only go for people who're in shape and rather not go out w/somebody who's overweight? When it comes to your intimate relationships I think it's 100% within a persons own choosing to discriminate based on whatever they are and aren't comfortable with (not saying these views may even be "right", but it's up them to decide if they're wrong enough to look into changing). The world won't go back in time if one person narrowly clings to THESE things over THOSE. It only becomes a problem if they try and push their views on others including their own family and friends. Then its like STFU.

Nope. You don't have to be willing to date a box of crayons to prove you not a racist IMO.

If I may add a perspective here, I don't think I would term physcial attractiveness and sexual chemistry as "racist". I mean for me, I say never say never to most anything but, in general, the men I date (whether I do the asking or they do) tend to be white. It is not anything I specifically seek to do and I have plenty of friends that run the gamut of black, latino, asian, mixed, etc., but when it comes to physical chemistry with someone and what "turns me on" per se...that tends to be white men between 21 and 45, approx 6', in shape, with a positive attitude and a good sense of humor.

There are definitely black men here that I would go on a date with and I know of two specifically that, if they were single, I'd be attracted to them and go on a date with them. People are turned on by what they are turned on by. I'm sure there are plenty of men that don't find me that attractive for whatever reason, and it's really not important as to why. They just don't. Would I consider it racist if it was because I was white...no!

When it comes to a lot of things in this world, I think there are definite racism issues to be dealt with and no one should be judged by the color of their skin as to what kind of person they are or if they are worthy of jobs, housing, fair treatment under the law, etc. I'm just not sure that with respect to mutual attraction between two people, a "preference" for black vs. latino vs. white vs. asian vs. indian vs. whatever, really can't be classified the same way as hating someone just because they happened to be, or not be, of a certain race.

Just my thoughts

I don't know...

I would have been looked heavily down upon by the parents had I brought home a non-Caucasian man. I only ever dated a Hispanic man, but that did not go anywhere. I had a son with the Caucasian man I had my son with, and we are still together.

I think that I may have had qualms about a guy of another race when it came to settling down, so that my parents were not upset. But I may have fallen in love and been brave enough to challenge their racist points of view.

While I'm sure there are plenty of racist roots in some peoples' reasoning for dating or not-dating certain races, you can't really say that not being attracted to someone because of a physical characteristic(like skin color) is racist. That would be the equivalent to me gay calling a straight guy a homophobe because he's not attracted to me.

That said, I would never try to justify a person's actions (like not talking to someone or judging their character) purely based on race.

I liken it to someone being more attracted to a certain hair color or height. It's not bigotry when you find yourself not attracted to someone who doesn't have that aesthetic that you seek. And the same traits that someone may not appreciate about you are the same traits someone else will. Why get upset over 1 persons taste?

GrayWolf wrote:I liken it to someone being more attracted to a certain hair color or height. It's not bigotry when you find yourself not attracted to someone who doesn't have that aesthetic that you seek. And the same traits that someone may not appreciate about you are the same traits someone else will. Why get upset over 1 persons taste?

That totally blows me away. Hair, eyes, body type etc can be altered, changed, in fact do alter and change automatically over time and are nothing at all like skin type. Saying you're not attracted to certain skin types of course implies something more than just aesthetics. Skin color usually indicates race, heritage, ethnicity, unalterable truths about someone, not just appearances. People are routinely killed because of their skin. Not so much their hair color. I'd absolutely love to hear from someone who only dates certain skin types to find out exactly why. I don't think attraction is always so impossible to control.