If you had/have children, or ever taken care of any, and they start to act up in public with a bunch of screaming and crying; how do/did/would handle it? Do you try to be sensitive and calm them down, or are you more likely to lose your temper and lay down the law (i.e., start to threaten to do this/that to them if they don't shut up?)

When you were a child, how did your parents react to your tantrums?

Funny story, I can recall being about six years old and throwing a fit in a store; it was just after Christmas and as I whined and carried on, my mom grabbed my arm and said that she thought that maybe I had too many toys under the tree and that when we got home I could help her throw some of them away. That worked.

I never went ballistic on my daughter--she was for the most part, naturally well behaved. Occasionally, she'd get in a snit about something, and I'd calmly say to her "Well, I'm terribly sorry you feel that way, so you better grab hold of yourself, because that kind of behavior is unacceptable once you get into school and later become an adult."

That usually stopped her from having a meltdown, and I'd also use other childrens' public tantrums to show her as an example of how she'd look if she had a flake-out. She got to the point of actually commenting on them herself and what brats they were being. LOL

With other children, I was always the token Chaperone Mom throughout school years, so I got to really know a lot of the kids. The troublemakers always got put in my group, because the teachers always knew I was the one to not take any crap. I'd go for the humor aspect to befriend them and get everyone laughing, and if that didn't work, I'd do my "scary voice"--I can make it sound deep and formidable and even my husband fears it!

I don't have kids, but when a kid is crying, most parents do nothing because they don't want CPS called! Here in NJ if you give your kid a dirty look, someone will call CPS on you.

When I was a kid...the good old 1960's, the golden era of physical punishment! I would act up in public, my mom or dad would bust me a good one across the mouth or butt. That caused me to burst out into a howling cry, but when I got hold of myself, I made sure I straightened up.

I NEVER had a tantrum, least of all not in public, I always knew better than that. I learned long time ago you don't always get what you want and you often have to use your own money to get it. So, I think it's naturally, I have no patience or sympathy towards these crying screaming brats who throw fits because they don't get what they want.


And it's funny, my brother and I were having a discussion last night and he mentioned that he'd like to have a kid someday, and it'd be cool to have this scenario play out in real life: you and your kid are at Walmart and another kid is having a screaming fit, and YOUR kid turns to THAT mother and says 'lady will you make your kid shut up and behave!?' That would be SO good, I'd like to have smart kids like that.

Low tolerance for temper tantrums. I won't slap a kid in public and cause a scene, but I will very calmly (but menacingly) explain what will happen to them later on if they don't cut that shit out immediately. It usually worked with my kids.

Acting out wasn't an option for me. Nor was it for my son.

I never through tantrums. I just wasn't that type of child. I have some crying fits, but they were only if I was generally scared, like when we went through a haunted house.

I can't recall either my brother or I pitching fits and having a conniption. My daughter went through a stage as a toddler when she would have one when it was time to bring her home from a friend's house. Trying to get her in the car seat was like trying to bend a steel bar but I got her ass in it and let her howl her lungs out on the drive home. My wife had her shopping one time and she had a hissy. My daughter that time, not my wife. Deb brought her out of the store, put her in the car and stood outside until she calmed down. Our daughter. She doesn't know if someone saw the hysterics or if the cop was just on patrol but one pulled up and asked my wife if everything was alright. She explained the situation and that was that.

A prof of mine had a great solution - she made a sign that said "Tantrum in progress. We'll be with you shortly." and she'd stand there with a pleasant smile on her face and hold up her sign. Said ti only took two tries before her son realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted and he never threw another tantrum in public again.

I'd try to do all I could to prevent the tantrum - not take the kid out when he or she is tired or hungry or when it's nap time, carry little snacks with me, and so on.

If my kid did throw a tantrum, I'd calmly explain I"d be back for my groceries another time and remove the child to the car, where I'd let him or her scream it out and then we'd go home and next time, the child wouldn't get to come out with me.

Marc™ wrote:

Low tolerance for temper tantrums. I won't slap a kid in public and cause a scene, but I will very calmly (but menacingly) explain what will happen to them later on if they don't cut that shit out immediately. It usually worked with my kids.

I remember when I tried to throw a tantrum in public. All my mother did was look at me and it stopped before it got started.