Adoption

I was just on another board where me and a couple 25yr olds were arguing about adoption.

I believe in adoption, and the women were complaining of th costs. They were given a price of $12,000 for the infant and stated that even if they had the money, they would have to wait an eternity on a list.

I suggested adopting an older child, which may cost less and take a lot less time..... and the argument i got was "im young, and want to grow and learn with my child. im inexperienced to deal with a child's baggage". She went on to say that it is like "juggling where you start with one or two balls instead of a bunch".

I was SMH. So i asked if she gave birth to a baby with a heart condition would she put it up for adoption? afterall she is inexperiecned with heart conditions in infants. I tried to explain that it is selfish to want to meet your own needs without wnating to fill the needs of the child. in that case we might as well just euthanize the older children who are too damaged for anyone to love. Damaged was actually a word she used in her argument. She wrote back, "The thread was about the price of adoption... not which child i should get"

I'm glad she doesnt have a freakin kid cause IMO her thinking is sooo twisted.idk.. maybe its just me.

Older children have just as much need and right to be loved as an infant. Nothing wrong adopting an older child.

Before I was pregnant I always thought I would adopt only. Not because I took issue with birthing a baby...I just felt very strongly about giving older kids a home who needed it.

That said, I have to agree it is easier to have a baby one can "mold to fit" vs. having an older child enter the home as a child who has been through the system may come with issues that are volumes more difficult than a teething baby or a tantrum-throwing toddler. I'm not saying it's right or fair to feel that way, just that I could see why people would think so.

Even people who seek to adopt a two or three year old from a place like Ethiopia really do spend a ton of cash and a disruption to the family to do so. It is a huge undertaking.