Is it ever ok for a woman to pursue a man?

Thoughts?

Of course. Nothing wrong with telling someone you like them. The difference between men and women though...men work a lot harder at it. Women do it all the time, especially the trifling ones who knowingly pursue married men and men in relationships.

I wouldn't. When men are pursued, they have a habit of becoming arrogant and condescending. From there, they behave as though they have you by a string. The most I'd ever do is make it known that I was interested. I, however, would never outright chase. Historically, that's been the male's role and I'm fine with it.

After it was established that we were both interested, I would have no problem with making as much of an effort to keep things replenished. Some women even like to be pursued, or take the backseat, even into the courting stage...and IMO that's silly. IA with MsCrys though that some men have a habit of reacting less than humbly when they know a woman is uber-interested, so for me I'd tread lightly there.

I say go after what you want, so my answer is yes. But the truth is that men are usually more inclined to be the pursuers anyway, so if he's interested and knows that she's interested, then her job is half done.

Good responses. Thanks.

Naw. Don't pursue. It's gonna blow his head up. Just show him you're interested and if he's not too stupid to pick up the hints, then he will pursue you. The man is supposed to pursue the woman, not the other way around. Just look @ the animal kingdom: the female simply expresses her acceptance of the male but it's the males job to approach the female.

I think it's definitely okay for a woman to a pursue a man. With me, though, I prefer not to be the aggressor. I've played that role before and I have to do all this work to keep him interested. Ugh.

In the book "Mars vs Venus," author John Grey says that men are meant to be the pursuers, and part of building attraction is for them to do the work. He states that even nice, intelligent and great women may lose the attention of a man if they pursue.

Me, I don't agree. Simply put whichever person feels a certain attraction needs to let the other party know in simple, clear and unavoidable terms. And then respect them if they say, "sorry you're not for me." Once you get over that hump, then the fun begins. Who calls who? Where do you go? Who decides? Who initiates stepping through a relationship? Stuff like that.

If you are lucky most of it is 50/50. If not, the clingy needy person shows up and you run. Or the controlling, bossy person shows up and you kick them to the curb.

Absolutely. As long as there's no over the top craziness involved, it doesn't matter who pursues who. If the one being pursued isn't interested then they need to drop it. But I don't think gender plays any part in it.