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Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?
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Alan Smithee
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Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
Chris- Chamber Admin.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Forgiveness Man Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:48 am
I don't think there is really a way to ensure that your spouse doesn't cheat. I believe one can merely decide for themselves that they won't cheat. IMO, if both partners are properly grounded in the way they're supposed to be, it's the most effective way possible. People underrate it but in my experience, it's worked.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by RedBedroom Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:06 am
I don't think there is any way at all. Even couples that have a solid faith for years can go bust if one gets bored or whatever it is that makes them cheat.
Impact- …is a Power Member.
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Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
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I was with my wife for 18 years and never had an affair with another woman.
(OK, you lawyers saw thru the wording on that honest statement)
Anyhow, I did get quite infatuated with a woman I met on a retreat. She was a fotografer, vegetarian, bisexual Scorpio with so many common interests. So, I get home and am exuberant about this woman I met - told my wife all about her. Wife was only concerned about how it impacted our relationship and suggested that I go visit her and get it out of my system. I didn't. Knew that we were too similar and one of us would kill the other within a week.
But I think understanding the forces that tug at ppl and giving freedom to your mate is more binding than trying to tie them down. Or at least this has been my experience.
(OK, you lawyers saw thru the wording on that honest statement)
Anyhow, I did get quite infatuated with a woman I met on a retreat. She was a fotografer, vegetarian, bisexual Scorpio with so many common interests. So, I get home and am exuberant about this woman I met - told my wife all about her. Wife was only concerned about how it impacted our relationship and suggested that I go visit her and get it out of my system. I didn't. Knew that we were too similar and one of us would kill the other within a week.
But I think understanding the forces that tug at ppl and giving freedom to your mate is more binding than trying to tie them down. Or at least this has been my experience.
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Impact wrote:Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by MandyPerfumeGirl Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:18 pm
No, I don't think there's any way to make a relationship immune to affairs. Just do the best you can to please yourself and your partner and if after all that they still stray, hell with them.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Tony Marino Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:27 pm
Impact wrote:Not really. "Communication" and all that generic stuff may delay it, but all couples if they're long lasting will hit a snag and the two will go through a period of disconnect that will leave the relationship potentially vulnerable to an outside dalliance. I say just be honest if you make a mistake. Realize that no one is perfect, ask yourself how important is the relationship and is it worth throwing away over a flaky indiscretion that could have actually meant nothing.
Very well put Impact.
Suzi- …is a Power Member.
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It was very simple, if I couldn't trust him I didn't want him. He's never done anything to make me feel I couldn't trust him. I always said if we got a divorce I wouldn't marry again because I would hate men, If he died I wouldn't marry again because no man could live up to him.
Poor Time, fact is even if he had wanted to have an affair he couldn't afford another woman.
Poor Time, fact is even if he had wanted to have an affair he couldn't afford another woman.
Last edited by Suzi on Fri Mar 04, 2011 6:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by DanaShelbyChancey Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:13 pm
No, you can't control whether there is an affair, you just hope for the best. I am married nearly 18 years come Sunday, and I have not had an affair and I know (of course, I fully believe) my husband has not, either.
Trusting someone is one thing, but you also have to trust that if it were to happen, an affair, you would do the right thing, what ever that may be.
Trusting someone is one thing, but you also have to trust that if it were to happen, an affair, you would do the right thing, what ever that may be.
CeCe- …is a Chamber DEITY.
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No there's nothing that's 100%. The best you can do is to maintain trust & respect in the relationship. And as Impact said, communication. But no matter what you do there are still no guarantees.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Nystyle709 Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:24 pm
Chris wrote:Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?
Don't be a couple.
Marc™- …is a Chamber DEITY.
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My advice would be to just not have sex w/someone else.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Alan Smithee Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:37 pm
Chris wrote:Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?
About the only way I think it can be done is to be involved with someone in a coma.
CeCe- …is a Chamber DEITY.
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alan smithee wrote:Chris wrote:Do you think that there are things that couples can/should do to safeguard the relationship from one (or both) having an affair?
About the only way I think it can be done is to be involved with someone in a coma.
To be on the safe side they would probably both have to be in a coma.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by MarQ-Boogie Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:03 am
There is no way to "affair-proof" a relationship but if you claim to love someone you wouldn't have an affair in the first place.
The majority of people in this generation nor society today know what love truly is- they only know lust.
True love doesn't negatively hurt anyone.
The majority of people in this generation nor society today know what love truly is- they only know lust.
True love doesn't negatively hurt anyone.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by RedBedroom Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:28 am
MarQ-Boogie wrote:There is no way to "affair-proof" a relationship but if you claim to love someone you wouldn't have an affair in the first place.
The majority of people in this generation nor society today know what love truly is- they only know lust.
True love doesn't negatively hurt anyone.
That is purely subjective, and true lovers do get bored, interested and lose interest in general, at times....
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by MarQ-Boogie Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:34 am
MarQ-Boogie wrote:There is no way to "affair-proof" a relationship but if you claim to love someone you wouldn't have an affair in the first place.
The majority of people in this generation nor society today know what love truly is- they only know lust.
True love doesn't negatively hurt anyone.
Love is NOT subjective.
Love is TRUE and this means if you say you love me you will NOT (bored with me or not) do anything to hurt me intentionally. You can't tell someone you love them and intentionally act selfishly and hurt them.
If that is the type of love you have or want in your life then I guess you are in for a life of hurt and pain but it won't happen with me.
If you say you love me you'll prove it.
I guess I believe in true love- not lust.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by RedBedroom Sat Mar 05, 2011 3:50 am
Love is NOT subjective
?????
Love is probably the MOST subjective of all our defined bonds in life. Maybe you meant to say "true love" but even that is subjective due to the precarious "true".
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Forgiveness Man Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:08 am
I don't think love IS subjective. I think the infatuation often confused with love is what is subjective. IMO, TRUE love goes beyond the emotion. That is hardly subjective.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by MarQ-Boogie Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:51 pm
Forgiveness Man wrote:I don't think love IS subjective. I think the infatuation often confused with love is what is subjective. IMO, TRUE love goes beyond the emotion. That is hardly subjective.
Thank you, I agree with this statement.
Love is not subjective.
People are so into lust and infatuation these days they confuse these two with love.
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by Forgiveness Man Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:02 pm
I agree. Lust and infatuation rule the day lately. But it does still exist I think. And when you do find it, you've really found something special. True love transcends preference and phases. It's a commitment.
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be the nastiest, freakiest, slut in the bedroom, cuz wat u wont do some other b**ch will !! 
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by MarQ-Boogie Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:02 am
Forgiveness Man wrote:I agree. Lust and infatuation rule the day lately. But it does still exist I think. And when you do find it, you've really found something special. True love transcends preference and phases. It's a commitment.
Again, I agree 100 on this...
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Re: Is there a way to 'affair-proof' a relationship?
by DanaShelbyChancey Mon Mar 07, 2011 10:47 am
Also, it isn't 'affair-proof' but me and my husband like our life together the way it is, and neither of us wants to rock the boat. I am 55, and the idea of sneaking around having hot sex (even if) seems like a lot of trouble.
And he probably doesn't want the headaches I would cause him if he cheated.
And he probably doesn't want the headaches I would cause him if he cheated.
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