Should a person planning to name their child after a deceased friend ...

CeCe wrote:No, I really don't think they need to. A friendship is between the two people who are/were friends. I don't think it's a situation where permission is required. As far as the level of grief, blood isn't always the determining factor. Friends are profoundly impacted by the death of someone they love too. There's no reason you can't name a son after your brother if & when that time comes. I think it says a lot about him that there may be a few kids running around with his name. That's actually quite an honor & tribute to his memory.

Shale wrote:

CeCe wrote:No, I really don't think they need to. A friendship is between the two people who are/were friends. I don't think it's a situation where permission is required. As far as the level of grief, blood isn't always the determining factor. Friends are profoundly impacted by the death of someone they love too. There's no reason you can't name a son after your brother if & when that time comes. I think it says a lot about him that there may be a few kids running around with his name. That's actually quite an honor & tribute to his memory.

Note: I did not plagiarize this post - we were typing simultaneously and she hit send before me.

Alan Smithee wrote:jennab, I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. Was his name that unusal that more than one family couldn't keep his memory alive?

(Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:I still don't see the big deal. It's all love. You don't have the monopoly over your brother's name, though. Sorry.

AtownPeep wrote:I mean they can extend a courtesy to tell their family what they're planning to do and I'm sure the family would appreciate the gesture. But a name is a name. No one needs permission to name their child what they want.

jennab85 wrote:

(Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:I still don't see the big deal. It's all love. You don't have the monopoly over your brother's name, though. Sorry.

I know I don't have a monopoly over the name. The reason I am upset is because I don't really believe in God or an afterlife and I'm still grieving over my brother, but I have moved on. I was hoping that if I did have a child(a boy) naming him after my brother would bring me some comfort. Too many people already know that the my aunt's nephew's son is named after my brother and if I ended up naming my son with the same name people wouldn't care too much.

GrayWolf wrote:I don't wanna tell you how to feel about it but if it were me and my brother died and one of his buds named their son after him I would be grateful. Wouldn't deter my plans to one day give my own kid the same name at all. It's like someone said, your brother would have 2 kids named in his honor! That's pretty awesome. Is it that you wanted your future kids to be the original namesake?

CeCe wrote:

jennab85 wrote:

I know I don't have a monopoly over the name. The reason I am upset is because I don't really believe in God or an afterlife and I'm still grieving over my brother, but I have moved on. I was hoping that if I did have a child(a boy) naming him after my brother would bring me some comfort. Too many people already know that the my aunt's nephew's son is named after my brother and if I ended up naming my son with the same name people wouldn't care too much.

What other people think or know will not bring you any kind of comfort anyway. Although you confuse me when you say you're still grieving but have moved on...

Grief is a process that requires the passage of time. It's just the amount that varies. But someone naming their child after him doesn't take anything away from you. It doesn't matter whether or not other people care about the name of a potential future child. The tribute to your brother isn't altered by that.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:... Heck - amongst the cousins and second cousins in my family, there are three Michaels ...

Nhaiyel wrote:I mean no disrespect, because I can imagine how painful it must be to lose a sibling, but I think you are being a bit petty and selfish about the whole thing. If someone cared about your brother enough to name their child after him, you should feel honored by their devotion to his memory, not slighted because they beat you to it. He may have been your brother, but clearly he touched more than just you and your family, and that's a good thing.

Your wanting your future child to be the 'original' namesake has as much to do with vanity as it does homage. What's more is that someone else had an actual child and named it after your brother…the son you're planning to have someday is just theoretical at this point. Who knows when or if that will even happen. Once again jennab85, I mean no disrespect, but I really think this is all very egocentric on your end. No one has taken your brothers memory or identity from you; you don't own it.

If someday you're blessed with a baby boy, your giving him your brothers name after someone else did it first will in no way negate your dedication, or make it any less meaningful or significant.