For Hire: a Visitor to the Grave of Your Dearly Departed

For Hire: a Visitor to the Grave of Your Dearly Departed


Earl Wilson/The New York Times
At Gate of Heaven in Hawthorne, N.Y., last week, she
left flowers at the grave of Cristy Akyildiz, whose mother cannot get
there as often as she wishes.


By VINCENT M. MALLOZZI
Published: July 8, 2011


SQUINTING through dark sunglasses at row after row of neatly lined headstones, Terry Marotta-Lopriore drove slowly through Gate of Heaven Cemetery.

Holding the steering wheel with one hand and a bouquet of flowers with the other, she pulled to the curb, glanced at several notes scribbled inside a folder and walked to Section 17, Plot No. 26, Grave No. 6. There, she came upon a pinkish headstone, bathed in bright sunshine, that belonged to Cristy Akyildiz. Chiseled inside a giant heart were the words “Angel of God, Cristy, October 25, 2001.”

“Poor little girl,” Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said before kneeling and gently laying the flowers on the grave.

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore is not a relative or a family friend.

In fact, she had not known the girl.

A paralegal and married mother of three trying to earn extra money in a tough economy, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, 57, embarked last month on a new career: cemetery visitor for hire.

Advertising in a local newspaper and in fliers she distributed in surrounding towns, she offered her services: “Continue your signs of love and respect for your loved ones who have passed. If you are unable to visit your loved ones for whatever reason, I can help. Whether you need flowers delivered, prayers said or just a status on the condition of the site, I will visit any Westchester or Putnam County cemetery on your behalf. Proof of my visit will be either e-mailed or sent to you through the mail.”

After laying the flowers on Cristy’s grave, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore pulled a digital camera from a pocket of her blue jeans and began taking pictures to send to Cristy’s mother, Carmela Akyildiz, who saw the flier in a supermarket in Harrison, where she lives.

“I had never heard of anyone doing anything like this, and I just thought it was a great idea,” said Ms. Akyildiz, who was five months pregnant when Cristy was stillborn. “Though I do go to the cemetery to see my daughter, I’m often busy with work and my two other children and I can’t always get there.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, who lives in Hastings-on-Hudson and charges $25 to visit a Westchester cemetery and $35 for the longer trips to Putnam County, said, “Some people might look at visiting cemeteries as creepy or morbid, but those are people who are capable of visiting their loved ones.”

“But what about the people who are too old or too busy to go and pay their respects?” she asked. “What about the people who have moved out of state?”

Some religious-based services for the dead do exist. A small percentage of observant Jews in the United States partake in pre-burial rituals that include washing and clothing the bodies, and some Jewish volunteer groups keep constant vigil beside the deceased until burial. Also, Catholic priests say Mass for the dead. But Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore may be the first to have tapped into this particular niche market.

On Tuesday, after leaving the flowers for Cristy, she opened a folder revealing printed e-mails from five prospective clients, including a man from Katonah, N.Y., who wrote: “Hi Terry, my mother is buried in Gate of Heaven Cemetery and my father currently visits frequently to water the flowers. He is going to be going back to Italy for several months and is concerned about her plot. I came across your ad and was wondering if watering the flowers is something you do. If you are interested, please call or e-mail me.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, who grew up in the Bronx — “I was a Roman Catholic girl, but now I don’t have any religion,” she said — also earns extra money by performing “energy readings,” in which she briefly gets to know clients and then passes along messages from loved ones who have died. Each reading, which costs $50 per half-hour, is conducted in the Hastings-on-Hudson office of her husband, Dominick Lopriore, a real estate broker.

“I’m an energist, not a psychic,” Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said. “ ‘Psychic’ is a carnival term.”

As a child, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said, she had already forged a special connection with the departed.

“When I was 3 years old, I had a playmate who always wore this beautiful white dress,” she said. No one else ever saw the friend, though. “I kept telling my mother about her, and rather than just ignore me, my mother took it seriously, and she had me look through family photo albums to see if I could find my playmate. Well, I found a picture of her. It was an aunt of mine who died of kidney disease when she was 25. She was buried in her wedding dress.” That was before Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore was born.

Two years ago, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore was walking through Gate of Heaven Cemetery when she began to hear what she first thought were a kitten’s cries. “I followed the sounds of those cries right to the grave of a little boy who was born in 1965, and died the same year,” she recalled. “I placed flowers on his grave and prayed for him, and eventually, he stopped crying.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore credits her father with the idea for her new venture.

“I was visiting him last month and he told me, ‘Terry, you’re always at the cemetery; why don’t you make a little money from all of this?’ ”

Her father, Carmine Marotta, died six and a half years ago.
SQUINTING through dark sunglasses at row after row of neatly lined headstones, Terry Marotta-Lopriore drove slowly through Gate of Heaven Cemetery.

Holding the steering wheel with one hand and a bouquet of flowers with the other, she pulled to the curb, glanced at several notes scribbled inside a folder and walked to Section 17, Plot No. 26, Grave No. 6. There, she came upon a pinkish headstone, bathed in bright sunshine, that belonged to Cristy Akyildiz. Chiseled inside a giant heart were the words “Angel of God, Cristy, October 25, 2001.”

“Poor little girl,” Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said before kneeling and gently laying the flowers on the grave.

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore is not a relative or a family friend.

In fact, she had not known the girl.

A paralegal and married mother of three trying to earn extra money in a tough economy, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, 57, embarked last month on a new career: cemetery visitor for hire.

Advertising in a local newspaper and in fliers she distributed in surrounding towns, she offered her services: “Continue your signs of love and respect for your loved ones who have passed. If you are unable to visit your loved ones for whatever reason, I can help. Whether you need flowers delivered, prayers said or just a status on the condition of the site, I will visit any Westchester or Putnam County cemetery on your behalf. Proof of my visit will be either e-mailed or sent to you through the mail.”

After laying the flowers on Cristy’s grave, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore pulled a digital camera from a pocket of her blue jeans and began taking pictures to send to Cristy’s mother, Carmela Akyildiz, who saw the flier in a supermarket in Harrison, where she lives.

“I had never heard of anyone doing anything like this, and I just thought it was a great idea,” said Ms. Akyildiz, who was five months pregnant when Cristy was stillborn. “Though I do go to the cemetery to see my daughter, I’m often busy with work and my two other children and I can’t always get there.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, who lives in Hastings-on-Hudson and charges $25 to visit a Westchester cemetery and $35 for the longer trips to Putnam County, said, “Some people might look at visiting cemeteries as creepy or morbid, but those are people who are capable of visiting their loved ones.”

“But what about the people who are too old or too busy to go and pay their respects?” she asked. “What about the people who have moved out of state?”

Some religious-based services for the dead do exist. A small percentage of observant Jews in the United States partake in pre-burial rituals that include washing and clothing the bodies, and some Jewish volunteer groups keep constant vigil beside the deceased until burial. Also, Catholic priests say Mass for the dead. But Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore may be the first to have tapped into this particular niche market.

On Tuesday, after leaving the flowers for Cristy, she opened a folder revealing printed e-mails from five prospective clients, including a man from Katonah, N.Y., who wrote: “Hi Terry, my mother is buried in Gate of Heaven Cemetery and my father currently visits frequently to water the flowers. He is going to be going back to Italy for several months and is concerned about her plot. I came across your ad and was wondering if watering the flowers is something you do. If you are interested, please call or e-mail me.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore, who grew up in the Bronx — “I was a Roman Catholic girl, but now I don’t have any religion,” she said — also earns extra money by performing “energy readings,” in which she briefly gets to know clients and then passes along messages from loved ones who have died. Each reading, which costs $50 per half-hour, is conducted in the Hastings-on-Hudson office of her husband, Dominick Lopriore, a real estate broker.

“I’m an energist, not a psychic,” Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said. “ ‘Psychic’ is a carnival term.”

As a child, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore said, she had already forged a special connection with the departed.

“When I was 3 years old, I had a playmate who always wore this beautiful white dress,” she said. No one else ever saw the friend, though. “I kept telling my mother about her, and rather than just ignore me, my mother took it seriously, and she had me look through family photo albums to see if I could find my playmate. Well, I found a picture of her. It was an aunt of mine who died of kidney disease when she was 25. She was buried in her wedding dress.” That was before Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore was born.

Two years ago, Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore was walking through Gate of Heaven Cemetery when she began to hear what she first thought were a kitten’s cries. “I followed the sounds of those cries right to the grave of a little boy who was born in 1965, and died the same year,” she recalled. “I placed flowers on his grave and prayed for him, and eventually, he stopped crying.”

Mrs. Marotta-Lopriore credits her father with the idea for her new venture.

“I was visiting him last month and he told me, ‘Terry, you’re always at the cemetery; why don’t you make a little money from all of this?’ ”

Her father, Carmine Marotta, died six and a half years ago.