Do you subscribe to the theory of it being best to air out any little thing so it doesn't snowball or to just bite your lip on the little things?

I am the latter. My friend, I learned this week, is the former. She knew that since Friday I had a really huge situation to deal with that has had me in knots.

Yet, yesterday, she was having a bad day, and decided to nit pick something about me. She was so passive aggressive and none of it made any sense to me. (It was all over the fact that her son (age 21) and I are facebook friends and my son (age 12) did not accept her friend request. So, she sent a text saying that she was hurt by that. WTF?)

So she sends these texts, then doesn't take my call or respond to my texts. Despite her knowing that my issue from Friday was being dealt with yesterday. I didn't have the head space to deal with her shit.

She did admit that she was having a bad day and that she took it out on me but felt it best to let me know because it was really bothering her.

But if something like that is going to bother her, I don't know how the hell I haven't pissed her off already in the last three years! Goodness knows she has pissed me off in these past three years, yet I bite my lip.

Sorry for my question turning into a rant/vent!

Unless it's a significant issue you really got to let stuff slide. Most of the time things just aren't that serious.

I wouldn't say any little thing. Sometimes some things do need to recognized as insignificant and moved on from, but certainly if it's something significant, then it needs to be addressed as opposed to letting it fester until it snowballs into a big ball of resentment in the back of one's mind.

If it's something that's bothering me at the time that I'm pretty sure will bother me in the future, I would say something--especially if it's about something they have a tendancy to do, which in that case they may benefit from being aware of it.

I had a friend in college who was LOUD. On top of that, she didn't understand the fine are of subtlety--if we tried to point someone out quietly, she would be the one to yell "YOU MEAN THE GUY IN THE RED SHIRT AND BLACK HAT WITH THE DREADS SITTING NEXT TO THE BIG DUDE WEARING LIME GREEN?!"

The first couple of times we laughed it off, but after a while it was like, yo, wtf. Finally I asked her if she's noticed how loud her speaking voice is, and had she ever considered that people are whispering and being on the down low for a reason, but she's the only one giving away the position?

Turns out I wasn't the only person who had told her that, and she subsequently decided to have some testing done. Didn't help with her lack of subtlety, but at least she made an effort to lower her volume.