I had thought about asking this yesterday but Chris came kind of close with his sex ed thread so I'm beating him to the full punch.

I think we've talked before about if our parents ever had the talk with us, okay, to those of you who have kids, do you talk to them about sex, or do you leave that up to the school to decide when they need it and what they need to know?


I really gotta say, when we've got a system making straight A students out of high school kids who can't even figure out 20 - 8 = 12....you know with facts like that staring you in the face, how can you trust them to get it right when they teach the kids about sex? That'd be something I would handle myself.

I get the feeling that's what you think Sex Ed in schools is. Only teachers talking to their kids about sex and the parents doing nothing. Responsible parents do both.

My sis has 3 boys and she told us all if they ask us questions to be honest and tell them the truth. This honest open talk led to discussions about who they were sleeping with, that they were using protection, making sure all their friends were using protection, and they would rat their friends out to my sis if the friend wasn't!!!!

They are all in their 20's now. But I remember once when the one was 16, a girl came running up the basement and left. The nephew came upstairs and said, "u know what she wanted to do? We were making out and she tried to go down on me! I dont know where her mouth has been! Me and my little friend (as he grabbed his package) have been together a long time before her and we'll be together a long time after her!" i shit u not--- true story--- he then took my sis' lotion and went back down the basement alone LOL

I was raised by the denial-let's-keep-it-secret generation. I was in my mid teens before my mom sheepishly handed me this little book written by a doctor that gave me all the clinical information about sex.

Being the typical unconscious teen, I didn't even think at the time that cum could be detected even after it dried. Guess mom may have noticed the stiff streaks on my pillowcase or the stiff socks in the laundry and figured I was old enuf to know some things.

Yeah, if the school can't even teach my kids the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, no way am I trusting them to talk to them about sex.

wants2laugh wrote:

My sis has 3 boys and she told us all if they ask us questions to be honest and tell them the truth. This honest open talk led to discussions about who they were sleeping with, that they were using protection, making sure all their friends were using protection, and they would rat their friends out to my sis if the friend wasn't!!!!

They are all in their 20's now. But I remember once when the one was 16, a girl came running up the basement and left. The nephew came upstairs and said, "u know what she wanted to do? We were making out and she tried to go down on me! I dont know where her mouth has been! Me and my little friend (as he grabbed his package) have been together a long time before her and we'll be together a long time after her!" i shit u not--- true story--- he then took my sis' lotion and went back down the basement alone LOL

You have the funniest stories!

I don't see how one relates to the other that much. What's taught at school should just be the basics of human growth and statistics involving things like contraception, pregnancy and STDs....from an UNBIASED standpoint (in other words, don't try and scare kids out of having sex by pretending that all protection fails all the time.) The school isn't taking anything away from parents having a more indepth conversation about personal responsibility. If a parent is doing their job at home as far as that is concerned, then it should be an all around win/win. To say "how can we trust the school to teach about sex ed when they can't even keep students from failing math" sounds like an excuse to not do it. Okay. Fine. From there I wouldn't be surprised if that same kid failing math probably doesn't have parents who are open-minded or worldly enough to have a proper "talk" with them.

What happens next?

You get a 16 year old drop out with a baby.

Marc™ wrote:

I don't see how one relates to the other that much. What's taught at school should just be the basics of human growth and statistics involving things like contraception, pregnancy and STDs....from an UNBIASED standpoint (in other words, don't try and scare kids out of having sex by pretending that all protection fails all the time.) The school isn't taking anything away from parents having a more indepth conversation about personal responsibility. If a parent is doing their job at home as far as that is concerned, then it should be an all around win/win. To say "how can we trust the school to teach about sex ed when they can't even keep students from failing math" sounds like an excuse to not do it. Okay. Fine. From there I wouldn't be surprised if that same kid failing math probably doesn't have parents who are open-minded or worldly enough to have a proper "talk" with them.

What happens next?

You get a 16 year old drop out with a baby.

Well I've just got to wonder, I mean we know what SHOULD be going on in school but how do we really? I mean when the (male) teacher is telling the mother 'I'LL decide when your daughter needs to wear a bra, that is NONE of your concern', you know? Of course this was 30 years ago, today it's 'we don't need to tell your parents anything, it'll just be our little secret, everything that goes on here can be our little secret', like a couple of little kids but teachers are supposed to be the adults and know better but time and again there are quite a few who prove they don't.

And from past conversations I've had with people, it often seems like it is just one or the other, a lot of parents say the schools can teach their kids about sex, they apparently don't want that responsibility themselves, however there's not a mother alive it seems who will trust the schools to tell their daughters about their periods, that for some reason MUST be a mother's job, why not telling them about sex then?

Marc™ wrote:

I don't see how one relates to the other that much. What's taught at school should just be the basics of human growth and statistics involving things like contraception, pregnancy and STDs....from an UNBIASED standpoint (in other words, don't try and scare kids out of having sex by pretending that all protection fails all the time.) The school isn't taking anything away from parents having a more indepth conversation about personal responsibility. If a parent is doing their job at home as far as that is concerned, then it should be an all around win/win. To say "how can we trust the school to teach about sex ed when they can't even keep students from failing math" sounds like an excuse to not do it. Okay. Fine. From there I wouldn't be surprised if that same kid failing math probably doesn't have parents who are open-minded or worldly enough to have a proper "talk" with them.

What happens next?

You get a 16 year old drop out with a baby.

Supernova wrote:

I had thought about asking this yesterday but Chris came kind of close with his sex ed thread so I'm beating him to the full punch.

I think we've talked before about if our parents ever had the talk with us, okay, to those of you who have kids, do you talk to them about sex, or do you leave that up to the school to decide when they need it and what they need to know?


I really gotta say, when we've got a system making straight A students out of high school kids who can't even figure out 20 - 8 = 12....you know with facts like that staring you in the face, how can you trust them to get it right when they teach the kids about sex? That'd be something I would handle myself.

My oldest daughter is now becoming old enough for us to make casual comments about the way males and females should treat each other. We have had lighthearted birds & bees discussion with her, but at 11 years old she's still just under the wire for a serious talk. I think. However, in another year or so when she nears the end of middle school, hovers closer to starting high school and starts interacting with boys, we will have that talk. In the meantime I am a-ok with the school educating her on issues that are about to become relevant to her as she enters adolescence. I'm confident that her learning about Human Growth & Development and the basics of sex education in school won't warp or steer her in any wrong direction because the talk my ex-wife and I will have with her will be more significant and personal. What she gets at school will just be extended coverage, so to speak.

One thing I can't get is all the people who say the schools MUST do it because the parents are too stupid, they can't be trusted to give their kids the right information, and above all it's an uncomfortable issue. Hell if I care, if I were in school I wouldn't be discussing anything even remotely personal with teachers, why is it okay for the kids to talk about all their embarrassing and private stuff with complete strangers instead of their own parents? Home is supposed to be the place you discuss what you can't in public.

Supernova wrote:

One thing I can't get is all the people who say the schools MUST do it because the parents are too stupid, they can't be trusted to give their kids the right information, and above all it's an uncomfortable issue. Hell if I care, if I were in school I wouldn't be discussing anything even remotely personal with teachers, why is it okay for the kids to talk about all their embarrassing and private stuff with complete strangers instead of their own parents? Home is supposed to be the place you discuss what you can't in public.

All parents should, but not all of them do. That's why Sex Ed is important for kids to have at school. It gives reinforcements to the kids of parents who do talk to them about sex and at the same time gives something to the kids whose parents don't. I don't see there being any negative in it. The people who complain about it I think are the parents who don't want their kids to know anything about sex at all and resent that the schools are pulling their kids out of the dark when it comes to it.

My daughter's mother has had the sex talk with her, and I'm casually on hand to answer any additional questions she may have about boys from a mans point of view; that being said, her taking Sex Ed. at school won't undermine what she's been (and is being) told at home about personal matters and such. As GrayWolf mentioned, it just adds book facts on top of it. I'm not a teacher, so I don't have all the statistics on hand about this and that, so that is where I expect the school to pick up the slack at.

GrayWolf wrote:

All parents should, but not all of them do. That's why Sex Ed is important for kids to have at school. It gives reinforcements to the kids of parents who do talk to them about sex and at the same time gives something to the kids whose parents don't. I don't see there being any negative in it. The people who complain about it I think are the parents who don't want their kids to know anything about sex at all and resent that the schools are pulling their kids out of the dark when it comes to it.

It catches those kids whose parents allow to fall through the cracks because they're afraid to talk to them or foolishly believe the kids won't have sex if they just don't say anything. Then you have the ones who just don't care. These kids need some kind of backup to obtain information. The ones who get both are just doubly blessed with as much education as possible.

CeCe wrote:

It catches those kids whose parents allow to fall through the cracks because they're afraid to talk to them or foolishly believe the kids won't have sex if they just don't say anything. Then you have the ones who just don't care. These kids need some kind of backup to obtain information. The ones who get both are just doubly blessed with as much education as possible.

These are the ones you really gotta wonder what planet they come from because all common sense says not knowing is where the trouble comes from.