Rules in horror movies

There seriously need to be some new rules set for horror movies. We had the famous 3 set in stone when Scream was made: never have sex, never drink/do drugs, NEVER say 'I'll be right back', okay these are all good but there are more that need to be covered.

1. Never trust the German doctor because he just turns out to be some sadist Nazi who experiments on victims, just kill the skinhead and run like hell.

2. Best friends always die: Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Scream, I Know What you Did Last Summer, Prom Night, Urban Legend, the best friends of the last person standing ALWAYS get killed. It's not just a matter of the last girl standing because she's a good girl and everyone else bad, everyone else includes the best friends and the best friends are ALWAYS killed off.

3. Anytime somebody makes a reference to the rest of their life, they get killed shortly afterwards.

4. Cell phones ain't EVER gonna work when you need them to.

5. The cops ain't EVER gonna get there in time.



Anybody else got some to add?

The car is never gonna start.

DON'T TAKE SHORTCUTS/BACK ROADS!!

your shit is gonna break down, and you'll get eaten by whatever's out there!

Don't go upstairs.

oh & if the house tells you to get out...GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

If you're going to go out to the middle of nowhere for a party/weekend/whatever, BRING A GUN.

^^ And don't forget the bullets.

^^ And if you THINK the killer is dead, shoot them again just to make sure.

lol TWICE.

Yes, in the head! Make it count.

Don't cross the street

Don't go for the obvious exit its always going to be locked

When running from the maniac, don't go forward too far, he is going to catch you instead double back to where you started from and then continue in the opposite direction

Don't fall down.

Do NOT plead for your life because that's not going to change anything.

Don't hide under the bed

Don't hide in the Closet

Tony Marino wrote:Don't hide under the bed

Don't hide in the Closet

Especially if the door is some pansy ass Venetian blind sliding door, what the hell?

Don't run through the woods. He knows them better than you even if they're on your property.

CeCe wrote:Don't run through the woods. He knows them better than you even if they're on your property.

Soooooooooo True!

Don't take it upon yourself to go investigate the shadowy figure you saw from your kitchen window lurking around your backyard at midnight. Either leave, or batten down the hatches.

Nhaiyel wrote:Don't take it upon yourself to go investigate the shadowy figure you saw from your kitchen window lurking around your backyard at midnight. Either leave, or batten down the hatches.

I know!




"Did you hear that?"

"Yes I did."

"Wonder what it could be?"

"I don't know...I'll go check."







*split splat thud*

CeCe wrote:oh & if the house tells you to get out...GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

LOL!!!! You're on a roll tonight!


Don't stay at some rinky dink motel--- look for a Hampton Inn or something!

when a priest/nun or other religious leader vomits everytime they visit your house---consider moving!

If the park, ski resort, or other amusement attraction you are visiting is about to close--LEAVE! Do not stay and get locked in, left on a ski lift, or otherwise deserted with a maniac.

When visiting a cemetary, do NOT perform a seance or play with a ouija board trying to raise the dead.

If working with hazardous waste, please lock and triple lock the containers as to avoid zombies from eating your brains

wants2laugh wrote:


LOL!!!! You're on a roll tonight!


Don't stay at some rinky dink motel--- look for a Hampton Inn or something!

when a priest/nun or other religious leader vomits everytime they visit your house---consider moving!

If the park, ski resort, or other amusement attraction you are visiting is about to close--LEAVE! Do not stay and get locked in, left on a ski lift, or otherwise deserted with a maniac.

When visiting a cemetary, do NOT perform a seance or play with a ouija board trying to raise the dead.

If working with hazardous waste, please lock and triple lock the containers as to avoid zombies from eating your brains

I take it you've seen Frozen?

i did indeed see frozen... and when the leg breaking scene took place i literally felt the pain in my legs!

And whatever you do, DON'T GET IN THE SHOWER!!

wants2laugh wrote:i did indeed see frozen... and when the leg breaking scene took place i literally felt the pain in my legs!

Yeah that scene did cause me to grimace too and the hungry wolves had me cringing!

Hyacinth Girl wrote:And whatever you do, DON'T GET IN THE SHOWER!!

How could we possibly forget that!