Some parents just totally suck....

I can not stand the way Jay's nephews and niece are raised. There are SO many problems, but one of them is how the kids are treated in regard to food in the house. There are foods the kids are not allowed to have. And I know this is what happens to some degree in many homes, but she takes it to a different level.

They don't get the strawberry jam, only grape. The strawberry is just for their mom. No ranch dressing for the kids, just Mom. There are many examples I have seen with my own eyes and she readily admits it. Oh, one time I offered to bring a picnic lunch to the zoo so we could all eat together. She said, "Oh, no come here first and I will cook for us." She makes boxed mac n cheese and informs me there is hers and mine in one pot and the kids' in another. I asked her why she did two pots and she says, "Ours is made with milk and I just mix theirs with water."

So, anyway, tonight their son is here. I made a lasagna. Jay got out the parmesan cheese and said, "Boys, do you want any parmesan?" Jay's nephew said, "We are allowed to have that?"
Jay says, "Of course as long as you like it." And nephew explained they can't have any at home because it's just for Mom and Dad.

It just makes me so sad and mad.

Disgusting

Wow... Im sorry, but that seems almost abusive in a way. It shows them that they are not privileged enough to even have something as simple as MILK in macaroni. I just... omg, just, WHAT!!?!?!? I can not IMAGINE saying "Parmesan cheese, milk, etc... is only for the parents!" and let the kids eat non-flavored crap.

I don't let my daughter use salt, yet I use it. She can only have small amounts of expensive food, like brie cheese, but that's just so she won't waste it. If she eats it and wants more, thats fine. But I have never in my life bought anything that I would eat that my kids aren't allowed to eat. Though the expensive Sunbutter stuff might be more reserved for me because I cant have peanuts anymore, but it's not like I'd be all "No you can't have it!" Just leave some for momma that can't have her damn peanut butter (Im horrified I cant eat it anymore!)

Some may not agree with me, but sorry, it seems somewhat abusive. It sets a wrong image about food. Especially if kids are being amazed that they can have frickin parmesan cheese. I'd be very sad and mad too!

I wonder what the parents reasoning is!??!?!

TheEnglishButterfly wrote:

I wonder what the parents reasoning is!??!?!

This this this, if it was me, Red, I would be demanding to know WHY her royal highness thinks she's the only person in the area who can have normal foods and her kids should be treated like third class citizens.

TheEnglishButterfly wrote:Wow... Im sorry, but that seems almost abusive in a way. It shows them that they are not privileged enough to even have something as simple as MILK in macaroni. I just... omg, just, WHAT!!?!?!? I can not IMAGINE saying "Parmesan cheese, milk, etc... is only for the parents!" and let the kids eat non-flavored crap.

I don't let my daughter use salt, yet I use it. She can only have small amounts of expensive food, like brie cheese, but that's just so she won't waste it. If she eats it and wants more, thats fine. But I have never in my life bought anything that I would eat that my kids aren't allowed to eat. Though the expensive Sunbutter stuff might be more reserved for me because I cant have peanuts anymore, but it's not like I'd be all "No you can't have it!" Just leave some for momma that can't have her damn peanut butter (Im horrified I cant eat it anymore!)

Some may not agree with me, but sorry, it seems somewhat abusive. It sets a wrong image about food. Especially if kids are being amazed that they can have frickin parmesan cheese. I'd be very sad and mad too!

I wonder what the parents reasoning is!??!?!

I agree with you when you say it sets a wrong image about food. Plus, I think it sets them up to make social blunders when they get around a nice spread they can partake in. This summer, we had them over for a cook out and the two younger kids just filled their plates with the fresh fruit and didn't eat anything else. I admit, it annoyed me. But, they are just excited to get some fruit, probably.

I have an Italian friend who always talks about how Italians never make the kids eat anything less than the grown-ups. Mark is always bitching about going to cook outs where the adults eat steak and the kids eat burgers and dogs. Well, I kind of disagree with him because it gets costly to buy steaks for even the kids. I would rather see a kid waste a burger than a steak. But as a family, there would never be a day when it's just the three of us that my son sat at a table and watched me and Jay eat a steak while he ate a burger.

The saddest part is this food issue isn't even the worst of what goes on there.

OK, we're not talking food allergies and lactose intolerance, right?

Supernova wrote:

This this this, if it was me, Red, I would be demanding to know WHY her royal highness thinks she's the only person in the area who can have normal foods and her kids should be treated like third class citizens.

Here is just what I THINK, and don't know for sure about her reasoning. I think she believes because she pays for everything (Jay's bro doesn't use his paycheck for anybody but himself) she has a right to have the best and she has the right to save money by cheating the kids.

The thing is, I learned years ago to not do battle with her or she takes it out on everybody. She has told her son he can't come here anymore if he thinks he is going to be "spoiled" like my son is.

Alan Smithee wrote:OK, we're not talking food allergies and lactose intolerance, right?

Unfortunately, no, Al we are not. Jay's brother has three older kids from his first marriage who are all over 18 now. Years ago, they told me about all this food stuff and I really didn't believe it. Now with the three younger kids, I believe it because this woman has admitted it to me now in regard to her natural kids. She just chuckles and calls it "my groceries."

RedBedroom wrote:

Unfortunately, no, Al we are not. Jay's brother has three older kids from his first marriage who are all over 18 now. Years ago, they told me about all this food stuff and I really didn't believe it. Now with the three younger kids, I believe it because this woman has admitted it to me now in regard to her natural kids. She just chuckles and calls it "my groceries."

Hope she remembers that when her kids are older and are discussing "her funeral".

LOL, Super. I really hope she gets what is coming to her some day and I think she will. One day when the kids are older and I don't have to worry about her not letting my son see her kids, it's game on. I butted heads with her with the older three and all it did was screw the kids over. So, I won't go there now. But one day...

If food is the least of it... what other crazy shit does she do?!

I mean seriously, that's just sad. I too, have been to BBQ's where the kids can get only hot dogs and burgers and parents get steaks. I understand it a little bit more, but at the same time... I think splitting a steak between kids is better so it's not wasted. Or have parents chip in if their kids have expensive tastes My daughter is freaking tiny and if she wanted a steak I'd be glad to pay because I'm glad she's eating better fat than say, a hot dog.

But to not let kids have milk-made mac and cheese and similar... is going too far. Can the kids drink milk? Or is it crap like kool aid... ya know, cheap drinks with no nutrition? I wonder if she cares that she's skipping out on nutrition. Mac and cheese can be good for kids that arent good at drinking milk because of the dairy. But if you are just putting water in it... the kid isn't getting any nutritional benefit.

This makes me think the kids could even end up developing eating disorders... you know, not "allow" themselves to eat anything nutritious and it sets up a horrible disorder for them.

Awww this post has made me so sad for these kids, that mother should be happy that I don't know her... Id flip!

TheEnglishButterfly wrote:If food is the least of it... what other crazy shit does she do?!

I mean seriously, that's just sad. I too, have been to BBQ's where the kids can get only hot dogs and burgers and parents get steaks. I understand it a little bit more, but at the same time... I think splitting a steak between kids is better so it's not wasted. Or have parents chip in if their kids have expensive tastes My daughter is freaking tiny and if she wanted a steak I'd be glad to pay because I'm glad she's eating better fat than say, a hot dog.

But to not let kids have milk-made mac and cheese and similar... is going too far. Can the kids drink milk? Or is it crap like kool aid... ya know, cheap drinks with no nutrition? I wonder if she cares that she's skipping out on nutrition. Mac and cheese can be good for kids that arent good at drinking milk because of the dairy. But if you are just putting water in it... the kid isn't getting any nutritional benefit.

This makes me think the kids could even end up developing eating disorders... you know, not "allow" themselves to eat anything nutritious and it sets up a horrible disorder for them.

Awww this post has made me so sad for these kids, that mother should be happy that I don't know her... Id flip!

She just better watch it or she may end up like Nancy Knuckles.

i had a friend growing up whose dad was sooo cheap and a total control freak. I was once at her house when her dad entered and started screaming. The way he acted, I thought he saw a rat run across the room, "OMG WHAT is THAT???" We had only been sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. He pulled a cookie bag out of the trash can (yes, the kids actually cleaned up their mess)... and started yelling "These cookies were supposed to last another three days!" then when she went to the fridge to get some soda, the 2 liter bottle had tape stripes with the days of the week on it. They could only drink to that day's line so that the bottle lasted a whole week.

One time we walked to burger king, and when we got back with cheeseburgers, he grounded her for spending $25 on cheese--- "We have cheese here! You just wasted money for something you could have put on a plain hamburger!"

crazy nut

TheEnglishButterfly wrote:If food is the least of it... what other crazy shit does she do?!

I mean seriously, that's just sad. I too, have been to BBQ's where the kids can get only hot dogs and burgers and parents get steaks. I understand it a little bit more, but at the same time... I think splitting a steak between kids is better so it's not wasted. Or have parents chip in if their kids have expensive tastes My daughter is freaking tiny and if she wanted a steak I'd be glad to pay because I'm glad she's eating better fat than say, a hot dog.

But to not let kids have milk-made mac and cheese and similar... is going too far. Can the kids drink milk? Or is it crap like kool aid... ya know, cheap drinks with no nutrition? I wonder if she cares that she's skipping out on nutrition. Mac and cheese can be good for kids that arent good at drinking milk because of the dairy. But if you are just putting water in it... the kid isn't getting any nutritional benefit.

This makes me think the kids could even end up developing eating disorders... you know, not "allow" themselves to eat anything nutritious and it sets up a horrible disorder for them.

Awww this post has made me so sad for these kids, that mother should be happy that I don't know her... Id flip!

She is truly a shit parent. The absolute worst is they allow their youngest son to be totally racist toward Mexicans. They think his "bits" about Mexicans are so funny. It makes my stomach hurt and this past summer I did say something. Thankfully, Jay stepped in with this and is doing things to try to stop it. It is truly something if I didn't see and hear with my own eyes and ears, I wouldn't believe it. And the kid can't be genuinely racist at age six. He just must have said something about Mexicans once and got laughs from mom and dad and ran with it. They literally laugh at it. It's sick.

Her daughter has very dry skin but can't readily use lotion because the only lotion they have is from gifts mom gets from Bath and Bodyworks, so she has to, "make the good shit last." I took the kids to a waterpark last winter and her back was so dry, there were red scabbed typed rashes. I bought her three bottles of lotion and said, "Put them under your bed, right?"

It is all really awful but please don't judge me for not doing more. The absolute reason is because I know she will just cut off contact between me and the kids. She did it with the older kids that were just her stepkids. So, if I say anything now, she will cut me off from seeing the kids. That will not help a bit.

RedBedroom wrote:

She is truly a shit parent. The absolute worst is they allow their youngest son to be totally racist toward Mexicans. They think his "bits" about Mexicans are so funny. It makes my stomach hurt and this past summer I did say something. Thankfully, Jay stepped in with this and is doing things to try to stop it. It is truly something if I didn't see and hear with my own eyes and ears, I wouldn't believe it. And the kid can't be genuinely racist at age six. He just must have said something about Mexicans once and got laughs from mom and dad and ran with it. They literally laugh at it. It's sick.

Her daughter has very dry skin but can't readily use lotion because the only lotion they have is from gifts mom gets from Bath and Bodyworks, so she has to, "make the good shit last." I took the kids to a waterpark last winter and her back was so dry, there were red scabbed typed rashes. I bought her three bottles of lotion and said, "Put them under your bed, right?"

It is all really awful but please don't judge me for not doing more. The absolute reason is because I know she will just cut off contact between me and the kids. She did it with the older kids that were just her stepkids. So, if I say anything now, she will cut me off from seeing the kids. That will not help a bit.

And I'm guessing a call to child services is out of the question, like they'd do anything anyway, ha ha.

Ya, Super, it is. I don't think they would do a thing in this situation. The kids are not underweight and get free lunch at school. As far as CPS goes, as long as the kids are getting a meal, any kind of meal, they are not going to raise hell. As far as all the other stuff, it would boil down to my word against theirs and the kid is old enough now to be coached on what to say. The house is a disaster, but has been for years. It's gross but not as bad as it can get. So, it is what it is.

RedBedroom wrote:Ya, Super, it is. I don't think they would do a thing in this situation. The kids are not underweight and get free lunch at school. As far as CPS goes, as long as the kids are getting a meal, any kind of meal, they are not going to raise hell. As far as all the other stuff, it would boil down to my word against theirs and the kid is old enough now to be coached on what to say. The house is a disaster, but has been for years. It's gross but not as bad as it can get. So, it is what it is.

All the same she better hope when her kids get older they don't decide to repeat history and start playing with ropes and trunks.

i'd freaking call child services. having the rash/scabs on the kid from dry skin in abuse in my book.

i threatened my own sister with DYFS when her 2yr old daughter had a yeast infection that she did not get treated. They live in hawaii, and from the wet bathingsuits and sitting in the sand, girls get infections. I noticed it when they visited in july... then she STILL had it in december. I took that kid to the doctor myself and paid the bill, then told my sis that if it wasnt taken care of, i would fight her for the kid!

wants2laugh wrote:i'd freaking call child services. having the rash/scabs on the kid from dry skin in abuse in my book.

i threatened my own sister with DYFS when her 2yr old daughter had a yeast infection that she did not get treated. They live in hawaii, and from the wet bathingsuits and sitting in the sand, girls get infections. I noticed it when they visited in july... then she STILL had it in december. I took that kid to the doctor myself and paid the bill, then told my sis that if it wasnt taken care of, i would fight her for the kid!

I know enough about CPS in this area that they will not even worry about that. All mom has to do is say she didn't know lotion was safe for kids. And I won't pretend to know that she knows how to play the game with CPS, but she does know how to play the game with all the social programs out there. So, I am guessing she is going to be prepared to say whatever to get her ass out of a sling.

wants2laugh wrote:i had a friend growing up whose dad was sooo cheap and a total control freak. I was once at her house when her dad entered and started screaming. The way he acted, I thought he saw a rat run across the room, "OMG WHAT is THAT???" We had only been sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. He pulled a cookie bag out of the trash can (yes, the kids actually cleaned up their mess)... and started yelling "These cookies were supposed to last another three days!" then when she went to the fridge to get some soda, the 2 liter bottle had tape stripes with the days of the week on it. They could only drink to that day's line so that the bottle lasted a whole week.

One time we walked to burger king, and when we got back with cheeseburgers, he grounded her for spending $25 on cheese--- "We have cheese here! You just wasted money for something you could have put on a plain hamburger!"

crazy nut

WOW... that's freaking insane. Soda lasting a week here... marking it day by day? Holy crap... that would NEVER last here! And cookies not lasting... if you are afraid of wasting money on chips ahoy or similar crap... BAKE EM! They last longer and taste better! But then that family wouldn't have anything to bitch about

I see those extreme cheapskate shows and am amazed. I'd be horrified to go into a house where they had reusable toilet paper. Or limit shower times to 3 minutes and reduce the water heater. To buy disgusting meats from the butcher, like the head that one guy got for his anniversary... omg ew! The shit people make where they just throw shit in a pan and call it good, EW! Just.... ew. Live cheaply, but don't live so cheap that it seriously makes it look like you have something wrong with your head!

Two selfish pricks, how can they deny their kids food like that. Made me sick just reading about them.

wants2laugh wrote:i had a friend growing up whose dad was sooo cheap and a total control freak. I was once at her house when her dad entered and started screaming. The way he acted, I thought he saw a rat run across the room, "OMG WHAT is THAT???" We had only been sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. He pulled a cookie bag out of the trash can (yes, the kids actually cleaned up their mess)... and started yelling "These cookies were supposed to last another three days!" then when she went to the fridge to get some soda, the 2 liter bottle had tape stripes with the days of the week on it. They could only drink to that day's line so that the bottle lasted a whole week.

One time we walked to burger king, and when we got back with cheeseburgers, he grounded her for spending $25 on cheese--- "We have cheese here! You just wasted money for something you could have put on a plain hamburger!"

crazy nut

Did you mean 25¢ for cheese? I would have yelled too if my daughter paid an extra $25 for a slice of cheese anywhere let alone BK.

RedBedroom wrote:

She is truly a shit parent. The absolute worst is they allow their youngest son to be totally racist toward Mexicans. They think his "bits" about Mexicans are so funny. It makes my stomach hurt and this past summer I did say something. Thankfully, Jay stepped in with this and is doing things to try to stop it. It is truly something if I didn't see and hear with my own eyes and ears, I wouldn't believe it. And the kid can't be genuinely racist at age six. He just must have said something about Mexicans once and got laughs from mom and dad and ran with it. They literally laugh at it. It's sick.

Her daughter has very dry skin but can't readily use lotion because the only lotion they have is from gifts mom gets from Bath and Bodyworks, so she has to, "make the good shit last." I took the kids to a waterpark last winter and her back was so dry, there were red scabbed typed rashes. I bought her three bottles of lotion and said, "Put them under your bed, right?"

It is all really awful but please don't judge me for not doing more. The absolute reason is because I know she will just cut off contact between me and the kids. She did it with the older kids that were just her stepkids. So, if I say anything now, she will cut me off from seeing the kids. That will not help a bit.

Red, the only judgement I'll give you is admiration for doing what you can. Certainly these kids are being abused, just not to the degree that the authorities can or would step in. to you for buying the girl the lotion. Hiding it under the bed is probably a good call as from what you said, her

Spoiler:

of a mother isn't likely to clean under there. Either there or with the cleaning supplies?

Supernova, you beat me too it about her funeral. Maybe Potter's Field (after they harvest whatever organs they can for sale on the black market)? On second thought, even an unmarked grave is too good for her. Red, can you please do me a favor? Next time you have to see this bitch, tell her Alan Smithee says, "FUCK YOU!"

Our kids ate what we ate,from the time thy had enough teeth. I can't imagine cooking two separate meals or the kids and for the adults. Even now sometimes when shrimp or scallops are on sale my son will say " mom just cook something different for dad". Nope cause I ain't cookin 2 meals!

yeah i did mean 25 cents not $25 LOL

and the 3 minute shower!!! I forgot about that... when the kids took a shower, he had one of those sand in the hour glass type of things from a game board, and would time them! 3min showers, and then he would SCREAM at them to get out and threaten to turn the water off