by Alan Smithee Wed Dec 08, 2010 9:30 pm
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at
80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your
radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear --
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
"Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat
belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat
belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to
his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to
you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:17 am by Chris
» NEW ADDRESS: http://conversationchamber.ipbhost.com/
Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:16 am by Chris
» New project
Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:17 am by wants2laugh
» st pattys day
Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:21 am by Bluesmama
» White smoke signals cardinals have selected a new pope
Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:11 pm by wants2laugh
» Red?
Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:05 pm by Alan Smithee
» Do You Look Like a Celebrity?
Sat Mar 16, 2013 7:57 pm by wants2laugh
» Canned Foods
Sat Mar 16, 2013 2:57 pm by CeCe
» English Muffins or Toast?
Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:45 pm by Nystyle709