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Chris
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    Late in life parenting

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    Post by femme fatale Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:19 am

    How do you feel about people having babies well into middle age, I'm talking 45+? Along with the heightened risk of a baby born to an older mother having possible mental & physical ailments, some argue it's not fair for a 50 something couple to have a child because they'll have less energy and even less time with them. Where do you stand on middle aged pregnancy and "change of life" babies?
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    Post by Supernova Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:23 am

    Well my mother was 39 when she had me...and her doctor, if anybody can believe this, had told her years earlier that she would die if she had any kids after 30 and she had 2, my brother and then me 5 years later, and the only medical danger she was ever placed in was by her attending doctor when I was born.

    But I digress...45 and up? I don't know...so often it's the mother who's made out to be so irresponsible for doing it...but what about guys who wait until they're 50 to become a dad for the FIRST time? If a mother's selfish getting pregnant that late, how is the father not being selfish and irresponsible by waiting so long either? He'd be almost 70 by the time his kid graduated high school, might not even live to see him graduate college.
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    Post by Shale Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:33 am

    "Age is just a number" THEY say (Usually kids under 30 say that)

    But, even tho I laf at that sentiment, with my age related aches, pains, limitations you have to consider each case individually. BTW, I'm hanging in there for a guy "near 70" and I could hang with a kid getting out of high school now as well as I did 30 years ago. Might not enjoy it as much but it's doable.

    Likewise, barring the risks involved of having a first child after 40, women who already have children aren't so much at risk. I have a neice who had her third child as a late life surprise - she and baby are doing great. Again, have to reiterate it is always a luck of the draw when having babies no matter what age.

    My mom was underage (14) when she got pregnant with me, at a time when drinking coffee, alcohol and smoking cigarettes was not even a concern. And look how I turned out...

    OK, maybe bad example.
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    Post by Nystyle709 Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:36 am

    Their business. Of course they weigh the pros and cons of having a baby that late in life, but I don't think anybody should feel 'rushed' to have kids. Have them when you have them.
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    Post by Marc™ Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:51 am

    I can see being in my late 40s and having another kid. Why not?
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    Post by Jason B. Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:21 am

    Supernova wrote:Well my mother was 39 when she had me...and her doctor, if anybody can believe this, had told her years earlier that she would die if she had any kids after 30 and she had 2, my brother and then me 5 years later, and the only medical danger she was ever placed in was by her attending doctor when I was born.

    But I digress...45 and up? I don't know...so often it's the mother who's made out to be so irresponsible for doing it...but what about guys who wait until they're 50 to become a dad for the FIRST time? If a mother's selfish getting pregnant that late, how is the father not being selfish and irresponsible by waiting so long either? He'd be almost 70 by the time his kid graduated high school, might not even live to see him graduate college.

    It might be a double standard but I have less of a problem with a 50 year man fathering a baby than I do a woman that age having a baby. Maybe it's because mothers tend to be the nurtures who kids cling to harder.
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    Post by Supernova Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:31 am

    And yet so many people love to harp on about single mothers don't cut it because kids simply NEED a father around.
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    Post by Chris Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:43 am

    History has long painted the picture of grandparents raising their grandchildren. As far as age is concerned, this isn't much different.
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    Post by Offbeat Oddity Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:48 am

    I think later in life parenting is fine, and I definitely see some advantages to it. With age comes wisdom and experience that younger parents can't provide. I also think if you're in your forties/early fifties, you've probably met most if not all of your career goals and are well-established in your chosen field, so I think in that sense, perhaps it'd be easier to take a little more time off to spend more time with your kids since you spent your twenties and thirties working so hard to get to where you were at.
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    Post by RedBedroom Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:54 am

    To each their own.
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    Post by Nhaiyel Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:36 am

    Shale wrote: "Age is just a number" THEY say (Usually kids under 30 say that)

    But, even tho I laf at that sentiment, with my age related aches, pains, limitations you have to consider each case individually. BTW, I'm hanging in there for a guy "near 70" and I could hang with a kid getting out of high school now as well as I did 30 years ago. Might not enjoy it as much but it's doable.

    Likewise, barring the risks involved of having a first child after 40, women who already have children aren't so much at risk. I have a neice who had her third child as a late life surprise - she and baby are doing great. Again, have to reiterate it is always a luck of the draw when having babies no matter what age.

    My mom was underage (14) when she got pregnant with me, at a time when drinking coffee, alcohol and smoking cigarettes was not even a concern. And look how I turned out...

    OK, maybe bad example.
    blushing

    So Shale, let me ask you this...say tomorrow one of your twenty-five year old lady friends announced that she was having your baby, would you be ready to build a crib? big grin
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    Post by Shale Sun Dec 12, 2010 10:43 am

    Nhaiyel wrote: So Shale, let me ask you this...say tomorrow one of your twenty-five year old lady friends announced that she was having your baby, would you be ready to build a crib? big grin
    Actually, until my fuck-buddy Raul brot his new G/F over for a 3-way a few weeks ago, my dick had not been in a vagina for 12 years.

    Good point to not get some young woman pregnant at my age tho. My stepdaughter would be very pissed that any inheritance would go elsewhere than to her and the grandkids when I kick - prolly in the next 20 years. But, if it happened you just roll with it.

    I would likely be elated at seeing the offspring with my genetic material (one possibility that I have done this in the past - before DNA testing - but her husband has been the father to that child for the past 40 years). The reality would be to hook the mother up with a guy or girl who could help raise my kid to maturity.


    But thanx for the thot. Now I will consciously stick with sticking guys. :biggrin:
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    Post by AtownPeep Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:18 pm

    Every situation is different I guess. I'm from the south, where only a generation ago women would have the first of their 8 or more kids at age 18-19 and the last at around 42-43. If the couple has a big family and support system, then I don't see much wrong with a early-moderate middle aged couple having one. But on occasion you hear about some woman over 60 out in Bubblefuck, Nowhwew who defied nature and delivered a baby. That I don't too much agree with.

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