Arranged marriages

Arranged marriages make up vastly the higher percentage in human history but have, largely in the last century, become unusual and morally questioned in the Western world.

In your opinion, should arranged marriages be outlawed?

Compulsory ones definitely should. If somebody is willing to submit themselves to an arranged marriage, I suppose it is within their rights.

I think they should but don't see it ever happening. No one should be forced into marriage. They should be with the person they want to be with. Period.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:Compulsory ones definitely should. If somebody is willing to submit themselves to an arranged marriage, I suppose it is within their rights.

I agree. I'm pretty much against arranged marriages for the most part, but if someone is willing to consent to it (that is, a grown adult), then that's their right.

I don't agree with them unless it's consensual on both sides. There are some real horror stories out there. Years ago I had a friend who was Indian and knew her parents intended to arrange her marriage. She really rebelled against it and did her own thing. Her parents introduced her to a guy they intended her to marry but she said he was a total bore with no personality. She refused and continued with her education and met a guy who was also Indian. She told her parents that they were getting married and her parents were welcome to the wedding but if they didn't come, it wouldn't stop them from getting married. her parents came around, but I've heard other stories where it costs the girl her family, as the parents refuse to have anything to do with them. Babysat for a family like that. The women was Indian and married a Caucasian and her family refuses to have anything to do with her. The sad part is, they were missing out on the lives of two beautiful grandchildren.

I think that the young people should have some say, or for lack of a better term, veto power.

I correspond with an awesome young girl (23) who I met on a message board a long time ago. When she marries, it will be arranged. She has such love and respect for her parents, she feels like they will make the best choice for her. We don't talk about it much, but it is strange to read her words about actors and singers she likes knowing that she has choices in things like that but for the big issue of marriage, she will be out of the loop.

Chris wrote:.

In your opinion, should arranged marriages be outlawed?

Outlawed how? Because unlike back in the day, you have the power to 'veto' the decision and not be penalized or shamed for it. So it is outlawed. Do I think that the practice of arranging marriages should come back and become law or something like that? No.

I wouldn't say it should be outlawed if the two parties are adults who consented to it, but in general "arranged" marriages are completely archaic to me. All it is is a way for family to continue exerting control over their kids into adulthood.

What I find really sickening is when much older men take child brides. I was reading in a magazine that girls as young as 8 or 9 are "sold", for lack of a better word, because the family can't afford to feed them. There was a picture of a little girl who was maybe 10, sitting next to her husband, who was in his 40's. They looked more like father and daughter than husband and wife. Families will give a daughter over to a man like that so they don't have another mouth to feed. So sad!

Don't agree with it because it's basically parents treating their kids like negotiable property, and there was likely some sort of "compensation" was involved as well. It can be likened to parents pimping out their kids. Even if they marry at a legal age, the parents probably made the arrangement when the kids were small children. Should it be outlawed? If everyone is grown and agrees to it, then I guess no one's freedom is being compromised, but it doesn't make the whole process any less unethical.

Yeah - I read a book over the holidays called "The Secret Daughter". While it's fictional, I'm sure stories like it play out all over the world. It takes place both in India and the US and follows the lives of two families - one of whom abandon a newborn baby girl and the other who adopt the little girl. they family got rid of the baby because they didn't want to be saddled with the dowry. This baby was lucky that her Mom took her to an orphanage, though, as many other baby girls have just 'disappeared'. Man families there consider it shameful to have a girl, especially more than one. The husband's family treated the women like dirt until she had a son.

It was a great read but one that made my blood boil, as I know that attitude still exists and that kind of thing happens to baby girls in some countries.