Should family members of morbidly obese people feel obligated to help them out?

If I had a relative that was morbidly obese to the point they can't even leave the house without assistance, I am not so sure that I would be going over each time they needed something.

Yes they should unless they want to watch them die a slow death.

Help them, yes but mainly to start getting that weight off. Waiting on them hand & foot will probably just encourage them to keep doing things the same way. Help them out with some of the things they can't do...yet. But they need to do their part too.

depends on what is morbidly obese... by the BMI standards, Mike Tyson, most athletes, and most actors who are over 6ft are morbidly obese--- no lie.

Then you must realize that obesity must be treated like any disease/addiction. If the person does not WANT to change, they are not going to -- no matter what anyone says or does to try to help.

CeCe wrote:Help them, yes but mainly to start getting that weight off. Waiting on them hand & foot will probably just encourage them to keep doing things the same way. Help them out with some of the things they can't do...yet. But they need to do their part too.

Start by putting the unhealthy food someplace that they're too fat to reach. As with all bad habits and addictions, the person has to want to change. If they want to eat that whole chocolate cake, let them go out and get it themselves. I don't think I've ever bought cigarettes for my wife.

Yes, those morbidly obese ppl you see in the news where they have to remove a wall and use heavy equipment to get them out of the house had enablers bringing food to them. I would not be that.

When I posted this, I had people in mind that don't want to lose the weight. I would certainly help if they were trying.

The specific person I had in mind is a lady who is close to my son's uncle's family. She is a mean, uneducated and nasty lady who has burned bridges with everyone in her life. So, now she sits in her apartment and has almost nobody to help her get to the store. She didn't use her car for months as it was in need of repair. My guy used his own time and money to use the flatbed trailer to get it to the shop, and she never even said thank you. But since it was repaired, she doesn't leave in it as her health had deteriorated during the time the car was out of commission. So, her car is fixed now, and she can't leave in it.

I am a pretty good person and had thought about helping her out in getting to the stores. I only know her through my son's uncle and she added me on Facebook and she always seems so sad that her own kids won't come by to help her anymore. So, I had told her that I would drive over there to take her out but then she had a list of requirements about the time of month (according to her disability check) I will help. What totally pissed me off is that she has always thought my guy smokes cigarettes. He doesn't, he just walks out with his brother when he smokes. So, when she was still able to go to parties at their house, she would always comment on how awful my guy and his brother were to go out for their cigarettes. I would always comment on how my guy wasn't actually smoking. Well, upon me offering her help, she told me to make sure my guy didn't smoke in my car before picking her up.

So, I won't be going over there. I should add that she has always been very negative toward my son because at gatherings, her grandson is very much opposite of my son and she took a lot of offense to my son getting all the kids to go outside to play when her grandson just wanted to play video games. So, she has said twice that things "were fine with the kids until we got there."

I don't blame you Red. You really don't have to put up with this kind of nastiness. She can at least be appreciative & she certainly has no right to dictate the rules when you're the one offering the kindness. You've tried but you shouldn't be miserable doing it.

CeCe wrote:I don't blame you Red. You really don't have to put up with this kind of nastiness. She can at least be appreciative & she certainly has no right to dictate the rules when you're the one offering the kindness. You've tried but you shouldn't be miserable doing it.

Thanks CeCe for reading that long post! I was a tad embarrassed on the tangent I went on!

Anyway, yeah, she is just not appreciative of anything and has expectations and I feel like beggars can't be choosers and I do try a lot to do service for people in need, but she's just too much of a cantankerous old broad for me to feel like I should worry about it.

Red, it's a real shame when it's like you're being punished for your good deeds. It's also a shame that you're too nice a person to tell this woman how it is. You should and you shouldn't feel bad for doing it.

If I were close to them I probably wound, but I would constantly be on their case about changing the situation. If it got to the point where I felt that they weren't interested in changing their situation, I would eventually pull back.