Mothers/Sons and Fathers/Daughters

Have you ever noticed the pecuilar dynamic mothers have with their sons and fathers have with their daughters. They tend to have a more unconditional affection, snowed and/or idealistic perception of their sons and daughters, respectively.

Mothers having a hard time thinking that their sons can do any wrong, and feel that he's a catch that any woman would want. Fathers feel that their daughters are angelic and the closest thing to perfection. In the meantime, mothers tend to be harder on their daughters, and fathers their sons.

Is this true in your family? Men did your mother spoil you more than your sister(s)? Same question to women, did your father spoil you more than your brother(s)?

I am an only child so I don't have a sister to compare it to. But my Dad's generation didn't really seem to have it. His sister died young but both parents seemed to think she was angelic during her lifetime and his brother was unable to do wrong in both parents' eyes as well. So I am not sure it applies all the time.

I'll say that I wasn't that spoiled and doted on by my dad but yeah, when I was younger....I pretty much got what I want/asked for. But he did the same thing with my little brother too. I always got more cash than him when we were younger but that changed when he went to college.

My Mama definetly spoiled me but she also taught me how to be respectful and self sufficient and I never got anything without earning it. My sisters spoiled me to a certain degree then we grew up LOL.

Well, my mother's definitely easier on my brother on a lot of things and has been our whole lives. Like if we'd be hitting each other, she always told me to stop and was oblivious to the fact that he always hit me first and she never corrected him on it. And he's never had to play cards with grandma, he doesn't have to take her dinner, he doesn't have to do the dishes, he doesn't have to clean his half of the bathroom anymore, etc. The other side of it...well, if we need something, my dad's more likely to do it if I ask instead of my mother or my brother, but that's about the extent of it.

I don't think my parents spoiled one child over another, but I know that I'll always be Daddy's little girl. There's a special bond between my dad and I, just as there's a special bond between my Mom and brother.

Hmmm. Maybe. I'm my mom's oldest so she probably does dote on me more than my sisters. I'm clearly not my dad's fav and yes he does have more affection for the girls.

Only child, so I don't know. But in this house, I can see me being way more critical of who my son dates than his dad is. But his dad has an older daughter, and I am more critical of who she dates than he is.

Well I certainly wasn't daddy's little girl but I suppose there is some truth to it because my mom incessantly pampers my younger brother. My older brother and I are like the gypsies, while he's my parents prince.

As for why this dynamic commonly plays out, I think moms see in their sons and dads see in their daughters what initially attracted them to the other parent from this really "pure" perspective. Mom sees the fresh face handsome young guy the father was when they first met, dad sees the pretty young girl that the mother was. From there they kind of want to preserve that image in the kid.

I'm an only child, but I have seen examples that pretty much support it. Mothers spoil their sons, fathers spoil their daughters. Mothers are more critical of their daughters, fathers are more critical of their sons. But I think mothers see their daughters and fathers see their sons as new school versions of themselves, so that's probably why. They see all the mistakes they made or missed opportunities they had when they were young, and that's why they're so much more critical.

It was that way when I was little, before my dad left.

It is that way in our house too, although I fight against it.

It's not that I think my sons are angels...But when I see my daughter, I see myself reflected back. The things I see her do "wrong" are the same things that I see myself do wrong and I don't want her to grow up to be like me!

I honestly think that my husband has more trouble relating to our son because they are TOO MUCH ALIKE as well.

When my husband, or my son, is upset, I step in and remain calm and can talk them down. When my husband is upset, my son gets upset. When my son is upset, my husband gets upset and it becomes a vicious cycle of upsetness because they deal with stress the same way. I deal with stress by grounding myself and getting to work. They both freak out and panic.

We're all working on it though. I'm trying to be more careful to see my daughter objectively and stop personalizing her behavior, he's trying to calm down when dealing with my son.

The younger three boys I'm not sure about yet, they are still too little.

One thing I can say about my son who is 7 though, he's a handful, but he is very loyal to me and concerned about me all the time. On Christmas when I was on bed rest, he was crying because he didn't want to leave me alone when he went to Christmas dinner, but he didn't want to miss out either and he kept asking me what he should do...Totally made me cry to see him struggling like that. Everyone else was like "See ya later!"

never really knew my dad.

my younger brother was more spoiled yes, an got away with more stuff than me an my oldest sister.