PARENTS, Kids and Birth Control & Condoms

I think it's a gray area. On one hand, yes, the parents are saying be responsible...but you know, I just gotta wonder...who here...if your parents basically gave you PERMISSION to have sex when you were a teenager, what would your response would have been? If I wasn't already devoted to keeping to myself, I think that would just shock the hell out of me and cure me of ever even WANTING to do it with anybody. I think I would be embarrassed to death that if I did meet anybody, and brought him home, my parents would be no holds barred in the dinner conversation. Now that's just me. Now on one hand...yes that's saying be responsible, which is the second thing you want besides to have them wait until they're grown.

But on another hand...if you're to the point you CAN be that open and honest with your parents, then you probably have the patience to actually sit down and talk with them...and I don't know if the kids who do this try to 'state their case' to their parents about what their reasons are. Clearly if you justify it with 'I want to', you are proving beyond a doubt you are nowhere near mature...if a teenager takes the high road and say they think they are old, mature, and responsible enough to have sex, then shouldn't they be old, mature and responsible enough to pay for their own protection instead of needing mommy and daddy to foot the bill on their sex life?

I would never directly enable my daughter to have sex. I'll talk to her about responsibility and character (i.e., the types of guy behavior she should avoid), but there is no way I am going to hand her a box of condoms, or arrange for her to go on the pill. Part of our responsibility talk would be her being adult enough to take care of things like that herself.

I think it's akin to giving a drug addict child a clean needle to do it with so they don't get AIDS from it.

Well, we gave our daughter condoms at 16, knowing she would likely be trying to have sex with her B/F. That was in the mid 80s.

Apparently, from these responses the moral pendulum has swung back to the mid '50s. But girls ended up pregnant even in those innocent times and they caught the usually non-fatal but dangersous venereal diseases.

So, as parents I think we did the best for our daughter.

I don't see a problem with a parent putting their teenage daughter on the pill. Quite frankly, the pill isn't necessarily prescribed strictly for birth control. I knew a lot of mothers who took their daughters to the clinic to get on the pill because they see how fast their daughters were. I can dig it. Since you're responsible for her, you're making sure she's protected. Condoms either. But I think a serious talk needs to be had before a parent dispenses those. I wouldn't go and buy my daughter a box of condoms and be like "here".

Kral wrote:Since the issue with the school's place in distributing condoms is usually met with a negative reaction, what do you think about parents who provide their kids with birth control and condoms? Is this something that parents should do if they know their child is or will be sexually active?

I think that's a good idea. Parents who do that are very progressive. If kids wants to have sex, that's what they're going to do, so why not be responsible about it? I think it is something parents should do if they know their kids are or will be sexually active. Birth control and condoms prevent a lot of STDs, STIs, AIDS cases and unwanted pregnancies. Why would someone be against that?

Because it sounds like they're encouraging them 'just go out and do it with whoever looks at you the right way' or something like that. My parents sure as hell were never that 'progressive' and they raised 2 girls who were virgins until their wedding nights, and two more virgins with no plans of doing anything with anybody anytime soon. That's how we were raised, I was told you get married before you have sex and have kids, and that's the view I've always had.

I have a hard time wrapping my head around this whole thing. Some people say kids are just going to do whatever they want no matter what you say, true, but kids don't JUST wake up one day and say 'I think I'll have sex today', some thought and planning and premeditation DOES go into it; so you have all these years building up to that fact to discuss this with your kids and teach them early on that they have to be safe, BUT that they also have to be old enough and mature enough to deal with the consequences, that it's not just a game, it's something very serious and if gone about carelessly could be a death sentence, but you have to figure out how to do that without driving them into a nunnery, or a 'monkery'.

I did not necessarily discourage my daughter, but I did not buy her condoms, either (and had a FIT when her school handed them out like breath mints). I think what helped her keep her legs closed is knowing how serious I was about NOT raising her child for her if she got pregnant. As most teenagers do, she usually ignored things I'd tell her. But getting knocked up and taking responsibility for it scared her half to death. When she reached 18 she got on the pill.

GMA just did a piece on this yesterday and the parents who put their kids on contraception "just in case" baffle me. They are essentially giving their permission for their kids to do it with whomever.

The idea that kids will do it anyway is the biggest copout of parenting. Kind of glad that my parents didn't take such a foolish approach with me. I think we've bred a nation of entitled brats who think their orgasm is owed to them.

Kral wrote:Since the issue with the school's place in distributing condoms is usually met with a negative reaction, what do you think about parents who provide their kids with birth control and condoms? Is this something that parents should do if they know their child is or will be sexually active?

I wouldn't give it to them for the sake of giving it to them. IOW, if they're not having sex I wouldn't slide a condom in their pocket for "just in case". If they tell me they are going to have sex, first I'd try my best to talk my daughters out of it. If I couldn't do that, then in the end I would begrudgingly arrange for them to get protection.

Yeah really, just in case? When it's nosebleed season my mother advises me to take extra Kleenex 'just in case', in this family there is no just in case you decide to have sex, you get married first, or move out and get your own place and support yourself and prove you're an adult first.

Kral wrote:Since the issue with the school's place in distributing condoms is usually met with a negative reaction, what do you think about parents who provide their kids with birth control and condoms? Is this something that parents should do if they know their child is or will be sexually active?

ABSOLUTELY! And people that deny this and pretend that this abstinence only bullshit is a good idea inevitably end up in a situation like these retards!

Grandad at 29

Father 'delighted' as daughter has baby at 14

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3696059/A-dad-becomes-UKs-youngest-grandfather-at-29-after-his-daughter-gives-birth-at-just-14.html

I still don't get that, how do you have a whole class about abstinance? Seems like that would be like the shortest book ever written, one page or something.

It depends on the age of the child. 16 and over, I can deal with it. But before that age, I wouldn't be comfortable.

Personally, by time I was 16 I was curious, but I wasn't active. My parents never gave me "the talk," which was fine by me, but I do remember them telling my brother to use a condom when he was 18. By time I was ready to graduate, I had found my way to the local clinic to provide me with every type of contraceptive available at the time. So if my parents weren't going to provide me with it (which would have been super awkward), I was gonna get it anyway.

FireIce918 wrote:It depends on the age of the child. 16 and over, I can deal with it. But before that age, I wouldn't be comfortable.

Personally, by time I was 16 I was curious, but I wasn't active. My parents never gave me "the talk," which was fine by me, but I do remember them telling my brother to use a condom when he was 18. By time I was ready to graduate, I had found my way to the local clinic to provide me with every type of contraceptive available at the time. So if my parents weren't going to provide me with it (which would have been super awkward), I was gonna get it anyway.

I love your avatar!

captainbryce wrote:I love your avatar!

Me too!

I think a huge part of this is parents talking to their kids about sex at a young age. We can agree to disagree on what is fitting in terms of providing them with birth control, at any age, if ever.

But I think a responsible parent today, will educate their kids on why it is important to wait, and precautions they should take if they opt to not wait.

RedBedroom wrote:I think a huge part of this is parents talking to their kids about sex at a young age. We can agree to disagree on what is fitting in terms of providing them with birth control, at any age, if ever.

But I think a responsible parent today, will educate their kids on why it is important to wait, and precautions they should take if they opt to not wait.

This is SO true, you can't just wait until they're at the age where it's gonna happen, you kind of have to give them fair warning BEFORE they hit that road. My parents NEVER had a talk of any sort with me other than you get married first and THEN you have kids, which was not a great help to me because at the age I was told that I didn't know HOW you got kids. I got my own sex education out of our family's at-home medical book; last chapters in it had to do with women's health and sex, and I absorbed about every word in those chapters. It did until I was a few years older and able to look up information online and read it in the magazines my mom was getting. But it was a lucky break with me I think, I definitely plan to be better prepared with my kids.


Now there seem to be some people in this world that think telling kids about sex is only going to make them do it sooner. First of all, huh? I think it's safe to assume THESE people never had the talk because I never got how hearing about pregnancy and AIDS and STDs would make it all the more alluring for kids. Second of all, it reminds me of something interesting I read in a biography on Katharine Hepburn, NOTHING was ever censored in her household growing up, NOTHING was kept from children; her father was a urologist and he and his wife talked all the time about (among other things) sex and childbirth at the dinner table with the kids.

They explained to Katharine very early on how women got pregnant and she said 'so that's how it's done, I won't have to get married', but what's ironic is she was married once, but NEVER had any kids. Of course, this being about 100 years back, it was quite different from today because it was not the norm and not praise-worthy to BE the high school slut, so I think that might've played a part in it as well, but her parents firmly believed you had to always be honest with your kids or they would never believe you, and I don't know that I disagree with that. I mean who the hell ever came up with the idea of babies being born in a cabbage patch? And where did the stork come from?

Supernova wrote:Yeah really, just in case? When it's nosebleed season my mother advises me to take extra Kleenex 'just in case', in this family there is no just in case you decide to have sex, you get married first, or move out and get your own place and support yourself and prove you're an adult first.

"BUT THEY'RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY!"

Why don't we just legalize burglary cause people are going to do it anyway? At least with it legal, they don't have to risk getting shot or eaten by a rapid dog.

I guess we're going to teach kids that they should not any self-control or responsibility. If they want to do something and that something is dangerous, they should do it because somebody is either going to clean up their mess or pay for a safety net to keep the danger away. (Not that said net always works.) lol

captainbryce wrote:ABSOLUTELY! And people that deny this and pretend that this abstinence only bullshit is a good idea inevitably end up in a situation like these retards!

Grandad at 29

Father 'delighted' as daughter has baby at 14

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3696059/A-dad-becomes-UKs-youngest-grandfather-at-29-after-his-daughter-gives-birth-at-just-14.html

I agree with you 100%.