How would you feel/what you would do in this situation?

Shale wrote:Did I understand right that the best friend of the boy invited him to go with them to Disneyworld?

Two 15-year-old boys - best friends - at Disneyworld together?

Let the kid go! You will never live it down if you separate the boys for a week of fun.

And you get the benefit of letting the other parents have to deal with all the miscief.

Nystyle709 wrote:Would they feel differently if it was a school or church trip?

Nystyle709 wrote:I think she should let him go. My folks did that with my friends back in the day. If they were taking me somewhere and I asked to bring a friend, they'd allow it. I understand how they might feel about it, but if this is his chance to go to DisneyWorld, let him go. Would they feel differently if it was a school or church trip?

TSJFan4Ever wrote:I took friends on vacations with me when i was a kid - nothing fancy like Disneyland, but from my parents point of view, it was a great idea as I had someone to amuse me and they didn't have to worry so much. I wouldn't be offended by this. I might feel bad that I couldn't afford fancy vacations, but I think I'd also see this as a chance for my son to experience something I couldn't easily give him.

My parents were pretty generous people and when my brother was playing tennis, it wasn't unusual for my Dad to take my brother's best friend along on the tournament tours, as both boys played. He knew the Dad wouldn't take the boy and it was the onyl chance to boy would have to play outside of our town. They were mainly camping, so it wasn't a huge expense, but he still paid for food and travel and even the tournament fees. The sad thing is, as the boys got older, the Dad didn't support the boy and he got into a lot of trouble and also ended up fathering a child by the time he was 18. It hurt my parents, because my brother and this kid were ALWAYS together while growing up but when the boys were goign into high school the Dad insisted his son come to his school, not the school where my brother and all of their friends were going. That's when things really went downhill and when the boy's sister was allowed to chose her school two years later, he really started rebelling. My brother went on to get a sports scholarship and this kid, who was VERY bright, barely graduated because he got mixed in with the wrong crowd.

jennab85 wrote: ... My friend right now doesn't like the idea of people helping them out financially.

RedBedroom wrote:The cruddy part of this is the way the inviting mother worded it. She should have been more graceful and explained that it would be very fun for her son if he had a friend along. That would have been the way to do it.

My thought process on this is that if I couldn't afford to fly to where they are going (or get there fast by car, depending on how far they are from Disney) she may want to rethink it because of that. Anything could happen and they may need to get to him fast, and it would be very unfortunate if they didn't have the means to make that happen. And I say that because my son has been asked on another family's road trip vacation, and I didn't want to risk having to spend a ton of cash to get there should he have an injury or illness.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:Yeah - it seems the wording was an issue but maybe the other mom was just really excited and grateful to not have to entertain her son all the time and wan't thinking about the wording. It's a tough situation. Wording can make SUCH a difference but perhaps the words hit harder because your friend and her husband are already sensitive about the issue and about their financial challenges. It's a tough situation.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:Yeah - I can see both points of view. I hope it doesn't damage the relationship between the two moms but it sounds like it might already have. THe burdens put on a family with a child with special needs go far beyond financial ones. It's tough on everyone.