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    Would you let your teenager drink at home?

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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:49 pm

    This was the headline to an article I found on MSN today and people are sounding off on both sides. Personally I think I would, before everything else let's look at plain common sense. What happens when you tell a child not to do something? Odds are they'll do it. Forbidden fruit is a very big thing for young people learning to question authority. And what happens to all these things that everybody just points at with a 'bad! don't touch!' logic like sex or guns or whatever? Usually the kids will try it for themselves regardless of all the warnings, because it is forbidden so it's all the more appealing for them.

    Now, moving onto another fact, some of these people say you should not give alcohol to your children because they are developing, their brains are still developing; well first of all if you can join the army and die at 18, you are developed enough to drink, also, the human brain does NOT fully develop and mature until around 26, so I suppose NOW we MUST raise the drinking age to 26, right? And if we do that we must also raise the military age to 26 as well, we don't want any young undeveloped boys in the army, do we?

    And some of these people clearly think letting your kid have ANY alcohol is automatically going to make them drunk drivers and binge drinkers, etc., you can tell these people never touched a drop in their life for some reason...but at the same time nobody screams for the most logical solution to the problem, Prohibition, why should ANYBODY drink at all? Except we saw how well that worked, didn't we?
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    Post by Shale Thu Jun 21, 2012 1:50 pm

    When our daughter was a teen she never expressed an interest in drinking but had she we would have allowed a glass of wine or beer with a meal. Even so, if the wrong authorities got wind of it we could have been in legal trouble.

    The age in the US is set too high. Here is me and my grandson having a beer in a Mexican cantina on his 16th birthday.

    Would you let your teenager drink at home? 200703-22cozumelmexcervesaweb

    Now in New Orleans I took a 20-year-old lover to Olive Garden where I like to have a glass of wine with my meal. I asked if he wanted a glass and he informed me he was underage. (So, guess I really am a perve blank stare @ you )

    Ppl who don't want to allow teens to drink at home must have forgotten that teens often do what they are not allowed. I couldn't drink at home but I took a few swigs out of the gin bottle in the kitchen cupboard.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:07 pm

    Indeeeeed, are people REALLY so stupid that they think just because they don't let something happen at their home that that means the kids won't do it at all. I guess none of these parents can remember back to when THEY were that age, somehow I doubt they always did everything they were told and never did anything their parents said not to.
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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:11 pm

    Giving teens alcohol at home is a terrible idea. Letting a teen drink at home displays a lax attitude toward underage drinking. So kids just end up feeling more secure to drink whenever, wherever.

    I would sooner give a 6 year-old a glass of wine than I would give one to a 16 year-old. My logic is that when parents look at their teen and state, "OK, son, you have reached 16, so now I shall allow you to drink in my presence. You're old enough." The teen mind translates that into, "Sweet. I am good to go. Even Mom and Dad recognize I am old enough to handle my liquor."



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    Post by Alan Smithee Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:18 pm

    I'm not so naive to think my daughter never took and underage drink but it was far from a regular occurance at home.
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    Post by Shale Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:28 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:Giving teens alcohol at home is a terrible idea. Letting a teen drink at home displays a lax attitude toward underage drinking. So kids just end up feeling more secure to drink whenever, wherever.

    I would sooner give a 6 year-old a glass of wine than I would give one to a 16 year-old. My logic is that when parents look at their teen and state, "OK, son, you have reached 16, so now I shall allow you to drink in my presence. You're old enough." The teen mind translates that into, "Sweet. I am good to go. Even Mom and Dad recognize I am old enough to handle my liquor."

    Yeah, that is obviously why my grandson developed a drinking problem in his late teens, has had multiple arrests for drunk & disorderly and the reason he's an alcoholic today, nodding on the streets of Fort Lauderdale with his bottle of cheap booze in a paper bag.

    NOT!

    He is sober, hard working, recently married and probably more temperate than his grampa.


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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:37 pm

    Shale, you are incredibly naive to think that because your daughter let her son drink and he turned out okay that it works that way with everyone. Because it absolutely does not. Not many teens are going to drink at home and then not drink elsewhere.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:38 pm

    I do think it's a good idea to start kids young, and I heard this one idea some guy had, he said to give the kids the cheap stuff and tell them it's the good stuff so they won't WANT to try it when they get older, have to admit there's something to that idea, that way they've already tried it and KNOW how lousy it tastes, it's not a forbidden fruit, it's not so tempting when you know how nasty it is. If somebody would've given me a drink of the kind of champagne I had at my 21st birthday when I was a teenager, I would definitely never want to try that again, sure as hell NOT before I could buy it myself.
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    Post by Shale Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:53 pm

    Supernova wrote:I do think it's a good idea to start kids young, and I heard this one idea some guy had, he said to give the kids the cheap stuff and tell them it's the good stuff so they won't WANT to try it when they get older, ...
    I don't think that works. It will just give them a taste for the bad stuff.

    I still remember my first drag on a cigarette as a teen. Left up to me I would never have taken a second one but it was all about image and before long I was smokin' like Bogart.

    My first beer was home brew that MY grandfather gave me in Mississippi (which is why I told my grandson I wanted to carry on the tradition). Beer is also an acquired taste for most ppl - not exactly coca cola.

    I still say, teens will pick up the naturalness of drinking alcohol if supervised in the home and shown moderation and that it is not some evil forbidden thing. Of course I was never allowed openly to drink in my home and I did all the usual young man drunken shit that makes me wonder why I am still here.

    Teen years are a time to learn to be an adult. You don't automatically become one on your 21st birthday. Like the young man who could not have a glass of wine with me at the restaurant - even tho we were sharing a bed that nite. It is ridiculous expect a person to all of a sudden have a freedom to get drunk if he wants without some prior experience of responsible drinking in moderation.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:56 pm

    This is true too, people laugh at the idea of 21 year olds doing 21 shots on their birthdays and dropping dead, but the fact remains it still happens and would NOT if it wasn't so tempting because it had been kept from them for so long with no good reason. There's no excuse for binge drinking at all but if you already know about moderation from your own experience, there wouldn't be any appeal to it either, would there?
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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:15 pm

    Supernova wrote:This is true too, people laugh at the idea of 21 year olds doing 21 shots on their birthdays and dropping dead, but the fact remains it still happens and would NOT if it wasn't so tempting because it had been kept from them for so long with no good reason. There's no excuse for binge drinking at all but if you already know about moderation from your own experience, there wouldn't be any appeal to it either, would there?

    21 year-olds attempting to take 21 shots are not newbies. I'm not saying it ends well because they are not newbies. Just that they are not newbies.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:19 pm

    If they'd already been drinking prior to that I don't think they'd see a reason to take 21 drinks for their birthday.
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    Post by Shale Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:19 pm

    RedBedroom wrote: 21 year-olds attempting to take 21 shots are not newbies. I'm not saying it ends well because they are not newbies. Just that they are not newbies.

    Legally they are - that is unless someone got hold of some booze ILLEGALLY before they turned 21.

    If that was the case it is likely that taking a dangerous 21 shots would not seem so pressing - old hat so to speak.
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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:39 pm

    Oh my word....The reason they do it is to get drunk!

    Do you two really think a kid attempting 21 shots has been straight as an arrow for 21 years, yet somehow decides to throw caution to the wind to mark their legal drinking age? A responsible kid who didn't drink in his teens is NOT going to do that.

    Nothing gets to be "old hat" when it comes to drinking when a kid starts drinking in his teens (in front of or behind his parents' backs) until they are much older than 21. These kids are not bellying up to the bar to do these 21 shots all by themselves. They are with friends who bring magic markers to make tally marks on their arms...friends they have been drinking with for years.

    Yes, there are exceptions. There always is.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:29 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:Oh my word....The reason they do it is to get drunk!

    Do you two really think a kid attempting 21 shots has been straight as an arrow for 21 years, yet somehow decides to throw caution to the wind to mark their legal drinking age? A responsible kid who didn't drink in his teens is NOT going to do that.

    Nothing gets to be "old hat" when it comes to drinking when a kid starts drinking in his teens (in front of or behind his parents' backs) until they are much older than 21. These kids are not bellying up to the bar to do these 21 shots all by themselves. They are with friends who bring magic markers to make tally marks on their arms...friends they have been drinking with for years.

    Yes, there are exceptions. There always is.

    And if their parents started teaching about drinking in moderation years ago by actually LETTING THEM have a glass of wine on special occasions, how would that make kids want to get drunk either before they're 21 or when they are? To me that makes as much sense as saying because you teach your kid to drive and teach them to be a safe driver, that either before they get their license or after they do, that they are going to take the car out and speed and race and do all kinds of dangerous shit all around the streets just because they know how to drive and they want to be reckless.
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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:21 pm

    Per your logic, two recovering alcoholics who have been sober for 20 years should allow their teen to drink in moderation at home to teach him how to handle alcohol responsibly.

    What I am saying is when kids know that their parents are ok with some monitored drinking, the chances greatly increase for them to feel more at ease to drink elsewhere. It's the classic, "Give an inch, they take a mile" adage.

    The ideal situation I have seen when it comes to teens and alcohol is for parents to not allow it in the home, make the kids understand they will be in hot water if they are caught with it. But, most important, let them know if they get into a jam and need a ride, call home for a no questions asked ride.

    I guess this falls into a hot topic that all parents will have a strong opinion on, one side or the other.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:28 pm

    The fact remains that it is not against the law to let YOUR child drink in YOUR home, anybody else's child or your child anyplace else it IS illegal, that's a big difference and there's no reason why the kids shouldn't get that through their heads either. That's why parents who do let their kids have a glass of wine with a special occasion dinner aren't all arrested for reckless endangerment and minor in consumption. I don't know how the whole blood alcohol thing works, but as long as a minor's BAC is under 0.02, then it's not illegal, and I wouldn't think one glass of wine could do that, especially if it's as some parents do, watered down, or diluted with coke. Or for kids what you could do is get them those little champagne glasses that only hold four ounces and say this one drink is your limit. Because even for adults only up to 3 drinks in one day is acceptable for staying on the side of your health.
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    Post by Cheaps Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:36 pm

    No, but I would allow my nieces/nephews, I think.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:43 pm

    Cheaps wrote:No, but I would allow my nieces/nephews, I think.

    Why's that?
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    Post by Cheaps Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:03 pm

    Supernova wrote:

    Why's that?

    Probably so I could monitor how much they're drinking. If their in my home and not out drinking and driving or what not, then I can keep them in line. And honestly, it's what was done for me when I was a teenager.
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    Post by Nystyle709 Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:56 pm

    No. And it's stupid to do so.
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    Post by Supernova Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:33 pm

    Nystyle709 wrote:No. And it's stupid to do so.

    Why is that? Somehow I doubt that the kids whose parents DO let them drink and teach them how to do it responsibly and in moderation are the same kids who are guzzling cough syrup so they can get drunk on it.
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    Post by Bluesmama Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:50 pm

    I was raised by European parents, and I know that they would have allowed a little wine with meals if I wanted it (my dad, anyway). That was a staple with their meals and my brothers still do it. But I did not like the taste of wine. Beer was not allowed, for some reason.

    I honestly don't know if I would have allowed my daughter to have the occasional wine if she wanted it. Because by then it was already taboo.
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    Post by captainbryce Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:11 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:Giving teens alcohol at home is a terrible idea. Letting a teen drink at home displays a lax attitude toward underage drinking. So kids just end up feeling more secure to drink whenever, wherever.

    I would sooner give a 6 year-old a glass of wine than I would give one to a 16 year-old. My logic is that when parents look at their teen and state, "OK, son, you have reached 16, so now I shall allow you to drink in my presence. You're old enough." The teen mind translates that into, "Sweet. I am good to go. Even Mom and Dad recognize I am old enough to handle my liquor."
    Why would you make that assumption about all teens? confused

    This is the type of thing you would hear strictly in America but in any European country this type of mentality would be virtually non-existent. The legal drinking age in England is technically 18, but that is barely enforced if a teen looks 16 or older. And in your home there is no legal drinking age! In France, families drink wine with dinner and in Germany, is 16. People trust teens to drink responsibly there and for the most part they do. Why are American teens so different in this regard?
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    Post by RedBedroom Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:15 pm

    Why would you make that assumption about all teens?

    Of course I am not making the assumption about all teens. Just the majority.

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