Do you feel that a working married woman who has a baby should give up her job (career) to stay at home with the kid? I'm not talking about a maternity leave, I mean something indefinite for at least until the baby is old enough to go to school? Should she give it up so that she'll be there all the time during their formative years, or is it fine for her to take some time off but then get back to work. With a succession of baby sitters, daycare and rotating off day schedules with the father taking care of the child?

A woman has to do what is right for her. It is different for everyone.

On one hand I absolutely REFUSE to believe that a baby is better off raised by a revolving door of strangers and paid caregivers than its own family...however, this all goes back to the idea of a nuclear family, mother, father, and the kids on their own...which sometimes works as in our case, but most families aren't so lucky. I think a lot of people could benefit from an extended immediate family, if the kids could be left with grandparents or aunts or uncles, or if the family could rotate who has the kids and who's at work so everybody gets time in with them, I think that would be the better alternative. But for some reason our society sees going back to mom and dad for any kind of help once you move out as a bad thing, so pride and dignity get in the way and screw everything up.

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But for some reason our society sees going back to mom and dad for any kind of help once you move out as a bad thing, so pride and dignity get in the way and screw everything up.

Do you think that mindset is in play when it comes to grandparents helping with childcare? I ask because it seems to me that anyone I have ever known has had their parents babysit if they were home and available to do so. It saves money and keeps the kids in a safe environment.

A woman should do what she really believes is right. I know we're supposed to have those strong maternal instincts to raise & nurture every moment but in the real world bills gotta be paid. Also a woman shouldn't be expected to completely lose her own identity because she is a wife/mother. If she believes she needs to work for any reason, be it the money or her own fulfillment she needs to do it. If not, she will only have regret & resentment later in life.

CeCe wrote:

A woman should do what she really believes is right. I know we're supposed to have those strong maternal instincts to raise & nurture every moment but in the real world bills gotta be paid. Also a woman shouldn't be expected to completely lose her own identity because she is a wife/mother. If she believes she needs to work for any reason, be it the money or her own fulfillment she needs to do it. If not, she will only have regret & resentment later in life.

If I were gainfully employed, married and having a baby, the most I could see myself doing is trading down from full to part time, so that things like daytime and babysitters weren't so heavily relied on. I wouldn't sacrifice my job, however, just to be a 24/7 stay-at-home mom; I know that it wouldn't be necessary, or practical. Even if my husband made enough to support the household on his check, the reality is that two paychecks are better than one.

RedBedroom wrote:

A woman has to do what is right for her. It is different for everyone.

I agree.