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    How would you react to your child being transgender?

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    Post by Chris Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:15 am

    Say, for instance, during toddler stage, you notice your son or daughter behaving in ways that are generally more common for the opposite gender, and later on (while still in childhood) they said that they wanted to be that other sex; how would you react?
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:43 am

    Not sure. I'd treat it like I would any other mental delusion I guess. If my kid believes something to be true about themselves that is clearly not, that's a problem. Coddling a problem would be proof that I don't love my child. Since I will love my child, trying to HELP them and not just tell them that their problems are not problems, is what I have to do. Explaining away problems just hurts my child.
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:48 am

    Mental delusion? Really? So, you essentially want to scar your child for life.

    Nice call.

    Edit; I think this is quite possibly your least intelligent, most offensive post on this forum. And that's really saying something. It really shows just how little you actually know about the world. Go befriend a transgendered person and then come back and spout off your nasty little opinions.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:53 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:Mental delusion? Really? So, you essentially want to scar your child for life.

    Nice call.

    If my child has one sexual organ and thinks that they should have another, that is by definition a delusion. No, I do not want to essentially scar my child for life. Quite the opposite actually. I ain't going to subject them to radical therapy like you seem to think. I just want to actually HELP my child instead of coddling their delusion. Coddling, THAT is what would scar my child for life.

    I mean if I my kid thinks that he has wings, what should I do? Tell him that it's okay to think that he has wings and let him jump off the fricking roof (so I don't "scar him for life"), or make sure he knows that he is a human being and not a damn bird.

    It's not going to scar him for life to lovingly make sure he or she doesn't go around thinking that they are the opposite gender when they are NOT. Some people just want to avoid being parents and they hide behind untrue, craphole excuses like not wanting to "scar" the child to justify letting problems get out of control. They try to blur the distinctions between actual child abuse and responsible parenting because they aren't parent enough to stop their child from going over the edge.

    Edit: Most often, it's the truth that offends. Seems so in this case.


    Last edited by Forgiveness Man on Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:17 am; edited 2 times in total
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:54 am

    Yeah, you really don't know anything. That much is obvious. Lots of words that just mean one thing: you've experienced nothing.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:05 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:Yeah, you really don't know anything. That much is obvious. Lots of words that just mean one thing: you've experienced nothing.

    Nice. Go into a thread where the OP asks a question, then start shouting juvenile insults at people whose answers you don't like. I guess this is what "experience" breeds, eh?

    So let's see, because I am young, I am "inexperienced." If I was old, I'd be stuck in a past tradition. FORGIVENESS MAN Empty statements that indicate lack of substance to your gripes. The truth is not changed with experience. We seem to live in a world that treats it's experience in hopelessly screwing up as proof that it knows what it's doing. lol
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:10 am

    Lots of words again. Still show that you know nothing. Absolutely nothing.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:12 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:Lots of words again. Still show that you know nothing. Absolutely nothing.

    Typical answer given when you know I'm right and actually know plenty. Razz
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:13 am

    No. I just don't have any respect for you anymore and no longer wish to read your meaningless babble.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:18 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:No. I just don't have any respect for you anymore and no longer wish to read your meaningless babble.

    People typically don't want to hear stuff about the world outside of their little bubble, so I am not surprised. You keep using buzz phrases like 'know nothing' or 'meaningless babble.' Or the lack of respect for me. lol It's like a machine. Put in a phrase and it'll just throw a mindless insult at you.
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:24 am

    You have been PM'd.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:25 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:You have been PM'd.

    Gee thanks! Razz

    Edit: Comments like yours just seem to indicate that I'm not as off as you like to believe.


    Last edited by Forgiveness Man on Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:20 am; edited 2 times in total
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    Post by RobbieFTW Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:56 am

    I would explain to them what it typically means to be the gender they are in case theyre confused, how society sees it and then tell them that can be whatever they wanna be.
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    Post by Tony Marino Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:57 am

    Honestly I am not sure how I would handle it. I can only say that I would love my child no matter which direction their life was headed in.
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    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:31 pm

    Chris wrote:Say, for instance, during toddler stage, you notice your son or daughter behaving in ways that are generally more common for the opposite gender, and later on (while still in childhood) they said that they wanted to be that other sex; how would you react?

    Well, I don't think a toddler is/can be 'gender specific' acting. They're still babies. But as far as early childhood, I won't facilitate it. I'm not buying my son Barbies. I'm not buying my daughter He-Man. I really wouldn't take it seriously enough if my son or daughter said that they wanted to be the opposite sex at age 5. Or 6. Or 7. I remember telling my mother I prob. should've been a boy when I was like 6. That obviously didn't take so my reaction would be just to shrug it off. When he/she is 13 and 14 and still talking the same thing, then we'll talk and if I have to acknowledge it, then I will.
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:32 pm

    You wouldn't buy your son a Barbie?

    Lame.
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    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Jun 27, 2011 6:55 pm

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:You wouldn't buy your son a Barbie?

    No I wouldn't.

    Lame.

    IYSS. You don't have to raise him.
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    Post by Alan Smithee Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:04 pm

    Chris wrote:Say, for instance, during toddler stage, you notice your son or daughter behaving in ways that are generally more common for the opposite gender, and later on (while still in childhood) they said that they wanted to be that other sex; how would you react?

    I'm trying to put myself in that frame of mind having raised a daughter who was all "girl". She never went through a tom boy phase but she did like to get dirty. I think NY has a point about the "toddler" stage.
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    Post by Kral Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:28 pm

    I wouldn't buy my son a barbie doll either. If he's not interested in typical boys toys, then I'd get him some unisex toys or board games to play with. Can't see him having a Barbie or a Easy bake oven.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:49 pm

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:You wouldn't buy your son a Barbie?
    Lame.
    Barbie dolls are lame. Razz
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    Post by RiteDiva Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:06 pm

    I respect people who make the decision to be trans, but I won't pretend that this is a normal mindset to have. If my young child was obsessed with the idea of being the opposite sex I would get them some help.
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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:57 pm

    This thread is terrible. Really says a lot.

    I just keep thinking about all my friends who are currently in transition and how seriously they take this. And how inconsiderate, hurtful and selfish their parents are.

    And to think that some of the people in this thread are similar to the ones who tried to force them into boxes they never wanted to be in. No, it's not "normal" to be born into a body you don't feel is you. But gender is so much more complicated than Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens and Tonkas. That's so not what it's about. It's about what people identify as and who they are.

    sad Love your children for who they are. And who they will grow up to become. They aren't hurting anybody.
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    Post by Shale Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:33 am

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:This thread is terrible. Really says a lot.

    I just keep thinking about all my friends who are currently in transition and how seriously they take this. And how inconsiderate, hurtful and selfish their parents are.

    And to think that some of the people in this thread are similar to the ones who tried to force them into boxes they never wanted to be in. No, it's not "normal" to be born into a body you don't feel is you. But gender is so much more complicated than Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens and Tonkas. That's so not what it's about. It's about what people identify as and who they are.

    sad Love your children for who they are. And who they will grow up to become. They aren't hurting anybody.
    Yeah! Even we who fit within the normal parameters sometimes go against the contrived expectations of parents. My mother was upset that I did not always do the moste masculine of things.

    I used to play with little plastic household appliances and would have played with one of those model houses as a kid - thinking nothing of it - men live in houses. Yet it was perceived as feminine and mom discouraged it.

    When I took typing instead of shop in high school - there was another disapproval because in the early '60s girls became secretaries. (forget that the USAF found a use for my typing abilities, which I prefered over shooting at Vietnamese).

    These little disapprovals of my choices as a normal male add up and it felt so good when I finally dropped out and said fuck the mainstream culture.

    So parents who are blessed with (or cursed with) a different child should realize that your actions, even most subtle do not go unnoticed. Your reward for ensuring your child acts normal will likely gain you resentment in the future.

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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:32 am

    Shale wrote:Your reward for ensuring your child acts normal will likely gain you resentment in the future. [/size][/color]

    Quoted for fucking truth.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:34 am

    ^^^^I think a statement from last week might prove appropriate. Wink

    (Oh!) Rob Petrie wrote:sad Love your children for who they are. And who they will grow up to become. They aren't hurting anybody.

    Loving my child means being able to take a stand with what is right, even when my child doesn't like it. YES, they ARE hurting somebody, THEMSELVES! IMO, if I just pretended like their problems are not there, it's proof that I DO NOT love them. Indifference is the true opposite of love and being indifferent to my child is not something I am willing to do, even if my child gets a little pissy. If my child resents me because I didn't condone their decisions, then THEY are the ones ruining the relationship. THEY are the ones with conditional love, not me. And if they are willing to throw our relationship away because Daddy doesn't agree with their decisions, THEY are the ones being selfish, not me.

    I think the sad thing is that some people get so caught up in emotion that they fail to see any reason. Well, if I truly love my child, I have to help them work through their problems. And that means acknowledging the problems that DO exist. The WORST thing I can do for my child is to condone anything they want, just to avoid pissing them off. I'd hope that my child is mature enough to not resent me for such trivial reasons. Either way, I won't let my child touch the hot stove just because they think it's fun. It's my job to be a PARENT, not to be some kind of "Yes Genie" who pays for everything and tells the child that whatever they want is the greatest thing in the world. I'll love my child enough to fight for them. THAT is what unconditional love truly is, caring enough for somebody to pull them back from the edge, no matter how much they want to go over.


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